Monday, June 28, 2010

Stay at home mom goods and bads

Its a glorious life. The house is a mess, its 100 degrees outside and my kids are healthy! I get the privilege of staying at home with my kids (EVERY SINGLE DAY)! It hasn't always been this way. I use to fact being a stay at home mom with my second born was never part of the plan, at least not my husband's plan. I went back to work 6 weeks after having Rylee and worked until I was put out of work on bed rest with my pregnancy with Tegan, 4 1/2 years later. I've done the whole mothers guilt thing with working and now I am doing the whole mothers guilt thing with not working.

The good of being a stay at home mom~ You are always with your kids. You don't have to worry about if your kids are being well taken care of b/c you are the primary caregiver. There is a strong bond between you and that child. There are play dates and sleeping in late (my fav)! You get to watch that kid change and really develop.

The bad of being a stay at home mom~ You ARE ALWAYS WITH YOUR KIDS! There is no going to lunch with co-workers and eating without having to feed rowdy kids. The bond is so great that the kid then thinks no one else can do anything for them but their mother. Instead of a day filled with a stressful job and meetings, there is now a day filled with stressful temper tantrums, pee and snot!

I guess it is a trade off. Working has its good points but you miss your kids. Being at home has its good points but you forget who you are. A mother is never off work whether they are a stay at home mom or a working mom. There is mother's guilt for leaving your kids to go to work and then there is mother's guilt when staying at home b/c it isn't a day filled with fun and one on one playtime. As mother's it is our job to make sure our kids are taken good care of no matter what we choose to do or what we HAVE to do. We should also support other mothers and not do the whole "well you get to stay at home" thing. Staying at home with my kids is the hardest job I have ever in my life had. There is no routine b/c you have to take it as it comes which makes me feel headachy and yucky all day every day! There are no breaks, especially when your 2 year old decides that nap time is for babies.

Can you tell I am having an overwhelming, I'm tired and not sure that being a stay at home is right for me kind of day:)

1 comment:

  1. Tabatha,

    I love you post! Have I said that before..LOL. Anyway I too am struggling now that I am forced for the moment to be a SAHM which is what I always wanted right...but then I kids are bored, my house is messy, and I can't seem to find a routine...I miss my adult friends and I feel like I am lazy if I am not doing something every second of every day....but if I start something with good intentions it often doesn't get finished b/c of the kids needs and then I feel guilty that I am working on house work and not spending valuable quality time with my kids.

    Anyway- now that my kids are both pretty much in school- 10 and 4 going to that I am having to stay at home, I would rather not...I wanted to stay home when they were babies and couldn't...geez I just can't be happy...

    Anyway just wanted to say I understand your thoughts and yes being at home in some ways is harder than being at work...the one part that is not harder is the exhaustion I used to feel when I worked all day and then came home and had to work all night (dinner, bath, bed, etc) least now that is spread out more or I can prepare meals earlier in the day to cook all day or whatever...or I can sleep later or steal a nap (not often)....just the fact that there is no tight time for anything is nice, but then I hate the loss of routine..

    What is wrong with me!!!?? LOL

    Thanks for keeping it REAL!