Friday, March 22, 2013

When Did I Become a Grown Up???

I remember a time when getting candy and a new toy made me so excited.  I take that back....I can't really remember that stuff b/c let's face it, life makes us forget about the simple things from when we were kids.  But the good thing is that as a grown woman (I still have a hard time calling myself a woman:), I find myself getting excited about things I would have never dreamed of.  

First I would like to say that I have no idea why I have never purchased a Swiffer Wet Jet Mop before.  Where has this thing been all my life???  I love it!  I will never use a mop bucket and old sponge mop again!  It was worth every penny of the $20 it cost me to get this thing.  I had never really thought of them before until a local Christian station had the sound of the wet jet mop as part of a secret sound game a few months back.  I was pretty sure that was God telling me to run right out and get one but I kept pushing those feelings down:)  Until I came upon the huge display of them at Walmart and I was once again certain that God was telling me to purchase this thing b/c he wanted to make my life easier!!  So I did and it did.  I will never live without one again!

I don't like to vacuum.  We only have carpet in the living room and hallway so I don't have much to do but my old vacuum was horrible and would roll up hair, dust and whatever else and spit out little furball looking things all over the living room floor.  I would have to crawl around to pick them up before Jack the dog ate them.  He is like a goat, he will eat anything! Well I took the plunge the other day and got myself a new and much better vacuum and then I came home and waited for someone else to put it together for 3 days.  Why does a vacuum come in that big box and isn't put together??  Anyways, my husband had to work a huge side job this week so it hit me that if I wanted to use my new vacuum on my nasty floor, I would have to put it together I did!  I am woman, hear me roar! 
It was like one of those presentation things at Sam's where they show you how dirty your carpet really is even after they have vacuumed it with a regular vacuum!  Holy Cow the stuff that can be in carpet that you don't even see. I feel so much cleaner now:)
I saved the very best for last....we were about 5 years behind everyone else when getting a smartphone so it stands to reason that upgrading our satellite box to a DVR  would be the same way.  To be honest, I haven't thought much about it but all you people on facebook talking about recording one thing while watching another have just rubbed it in my face.  I was pushed over the edge when my mom informed me that even they have a WHAT???  So a couple of days ago when the satellite box in the living room that we have had for 12 years started to do something funky, I didn't risk it and jumped on the phone with the satellite company.  I may of paniced b/c within a couple of hours the satellite was back to working like normal but by this point it was too late.  I mean, they offered me a free upgrade....I can't turn down free!  Except then I had to pay $20 for delivery and then had to break it to my husband that our already outrageous satellite bill will be going up $10 a month.  He then reminded me that nothing in life is free!  Those who know him and how tight he is with money, know why I am just now getting a DVR and will now have to make sure to take $10 out of my own money every month and give it to him to go toward the bill just to shut him up.  Yes, I am serious about that but WHO CARES....I HAVE A DVR!!!  I will never ever miss another Real Housewives of whatever episode again like I did last week.  I am pretty sure that a DVR is a life changing thing for a TV addicted person such as myself but I haven't recorded anything yet so I will have to let you know:) 
It's Friday, Teg has a t-ball game tonight and I have a hot date tomorrow night to celebrate 12 fantastic years with my hubby....I think it will be a great weekend!!!! 

Friday, March 8, 2013

These Kids Are Growing Up and I Am Finally Fine With It

I have noticed lately that Rylee is at that point....the point where she is no longer my "little" girl.  I was talking to her the other night and told her that the thing I am going to miss the most about her growing up is the cuddle time and her hugging me.  I mean, you don't see a lot of grown daughters hugging on their mom's, spooning each other in the bed at night to talk about their day or holding each others hands while walking through a parking lot:(  I even went to a new level of morbid when I told her that when I am on my death bed, no matter how old she is, I want her to crawl in the bed with me and just lay with me.  I can't think of anything more peaceful.  
She doesn't really need me for much these days.  She even takes care of her dog 100% of the time that she is at home with no prompting from me.  She doesn't need me to dress her or pick out all of her clothes anymore.  She can pack her own lunch.  She does all her homework all by herself.  She is just so grown up.  Sometimes I don't notice how much she has grown up b/c my little boy still clings to me like glue but even he has started to stop me from doing things for him with the words "I can do it mama, I'm a big boy now".
I read a lot of blogs.  All of them are about the busy lives of mom's with their little ones and they are still adding to their families.  There isn't a lot of blogs out there about how other mothers transition from little kids to half grown little people.  I'm sure there are books about it but I like to read the real life stuff.  Let me just say this, I am looking for the silver lining and on most day, I have found it.  It is so sad and breaks my heart but at the same time it is really nice that Rylee's two favorite chores are unloading the dishwasher and folding her own laundry....the two chores I dislike the most:)   Did I mention that she now sets her own alarm in the mornings and is up getting ready before I even get out of bed.  If she needs something, she just handles it.  I'm not going to lie....that is nice!
I had Rylee when I was 22 years old and Tegan when I was 27.  Sometimes I use to regret that I started my family so young (yes we had her that early on purpose) but now I look at my perfect little family and my cup runs over.  I couldn't imagine what life would be like if I had waited to have kids until later. My oldest sibling is 12 years older than me (her name is Shannon:).  She has 6 kids ranging from 22(?) to a soon to be 4 year old.  I love to mess with her and remind her all the time that I will only be 45 when my youngest graduates high school.....she will be 45 when her youngest starts Kindergarten:)  I think she secretly hates me for that reminder that I give her often but I think she still loves me b/c I am her sister.

I think that right now, I feel more content than I ever have.  It is crazy but someone said something to me back in October of last year that clicked with me and stayed with me.  I was at a housewarming party when a young old friend of mine, Amanda said something that I have reminded myself of everyday.  She talked about how turning 30 wasn't bad for her b/c she decided that it wouldn't be.  She said that she reminded herself that she was comfortable in her marriage, was done having her kids, settled in her career and that she was going to enjoy her 30's b/c she didn't have to worry about all that stuff....she could just be happy!  She doesn't realize it but when she said that I was at a bad place mentally.  My wants for more in my life were flooding out my appreciation for the things that are already here.  Do I have everything I want in my life, heck no but for right now, I have what I need.  I get the pleasure of watching these little babies grow and turn in to people.  I have a wonderful husband that has been sent here to drive me crazy everyday and I love it.  I am healthy and feel pretty good.  Why would I dwell on all that other stuff.
I know that what has helped me the most is just handing it over in my prayers. I just praise God everyday for what I have and pray that he lets me see the blessings in my life.  I have no idea what God has in store for me in the future but I know this, it could be more of the same or some really big and awesome stuff, either way, my life is good!!!!

Friday, March 1, 2013

My Boy And His Eyes

It has been a year and a half since Tegan had his big eye surgery.  He has done pretty well except I have noticed lately that his head tilt has started to go back to where it use to be before surgery....which was the whole point in that horrible surgery.
About 2 weeks ago he started asking me to take him to the eye doctor.  He kept telling me that he couldn't see and that he needed some help.  It seemed to come and go so at first I thought he was just messing with me.  We have never really told him that he even has an eye condition but he talks about how painful his surgery was all the time.  Last weekend, he asked me the entire weekend to call the eye doctor and please take him.  I told him I had already called but the soonest appointment I could get with his big wig Dr. at Emory was June.  He kept telling me he couldn't wait that long so I called back on Monday and got very lucky b/c they had a cancellation for yesterday (Thursday).  He was so excited to go to the Dr....that's a first!
For the first time, I took him all by myself.  I am totally capable of driving myself to Atlanta but my husband has never trusted my driving skills and my road rage so he has always took off work to go with us:)  I forced him to let me go alone this time b/c while my road rage is bad, his patience is worst and these appointments at Emory can last as long as 4 hours.  We got lucky yesterday and got out in 3 hours:)
I'm not going to lie, I-85 Atlanta traffic tenses me up.  I mean, where else does the road change to 6 or 7 lanes but yet you are still expected to lane hop at 70-80 mph.  I went 70 the whole time and still had people getting aggravated with me b/c apparently I was going too slow for them.  No worries though, I made it there and back (through rush hour traffic) with no problems or hold ups at all and I never yelled any dirty words to the surrounding cars.
Back to Tegan.... The good news is that his actual vision hasn't gotten any worse.  His vision is still measuring (or whatever word I should use there) the same as always 20/30.  
The bad news is that it seems his vision is being blurred by his eye condition.  You see he has Nystagmus, which is an uncontrolled side to side movement of the eye.  It has gotten some better the older that he gets but when he gets nervous, stressed, anxious, aggravated or over stimulated, it makes his eyes move more....which I should say he is one of these 90% of the time.  The reason why this is bad is b/c there is nothing that can be done about Nystagmus.  He just has to learn to calm himself.  When he gets anxious and his eyes move more, it blurs his vision which then makes him more anxious about not being able to see well so the cycle goes on and on.
She said he didn't need glasses and was basically sending us on our way to figure out how to deal with it but before we left she said she wanted to see us back in August to talk about a second surgery for his head tilt.  When she said August, Tegan told her he couldn't wait that long.  When she asked why he couldn't wait that long, his exact words were "I can't see now and need some glasses or something to help".  She grabbed her little prescription pad and wrote him out a prescription right then and there.  She told me that the glasses are an optional thing and to let him wear them when he thought he needed them.  They probably won't help his vision but her hopes are that maybe they will be a comfort to him and it will be more of a mind over matter thing and will trick him in to thinking they are helping.  I guess we shall see.  I don't mind throwing some money in to some glasses if it may possibly help him.  We just need to figure out a way to help him handle his anxieties and teach him to calm himself and his eyes. 
I really hate that he has to deal with this.  As a mother, of course I want my kids to be perfect and have no issues but I also know that it could be a lot worse.  There are so many worse things than this and I am confident that through lots and lots of prayer and talking him through it, we can help him to control this or who knows, maybe God has a plan to heal his little eyes completely.  Either way, he will be just fine and that is all that matters.

Oh and for the record I would like to say that I said a big prayer before getting in to rush hour traffic yesterday and it was like the good Lord cleared an entire lane just for me.  I never had to switch lanes for like 15 exits and never had any terrifying moments. I would go so far as so say that I drove better through the traffic than I do riding through it with my husband driving.  I hate transfer trucks and I am pretty sure my husband seeks out the two largest transfer trucks and makes sure to ride right in the middle of them for miles so that if one decides to come in to your lane, you are sure to be crushed between them and never survive.  Me, I go 90 just to get ahead of them or 60 to stay behind them:)