Friday, October 19, 2012

Favorite Things Friday

Usually Friday is one of my favorite things but since it is the day before hunting season begins, I'm not that excited.  My husband has big plans to hunt this season which means I will be a hunter's widow for the next 3 months:(

To brighten things up around here....I am doing a cheap version of my favorite things!
During the winter time, I always have really dry lips.  It has gotten much better the older that I get but that may be b/c I am addicted to this Nivea lip balm.  I love it.  The one I have doesn't really have a color tint to it but it does add a shine like lip gloss but hydrates my lips like chap stick.  I can't remember exactly how much this was but I am pretty sure I didn't pay more than $3 for it at Walmart.
I am horrible at applying makeup.  I like the idea of makeup but I don't like the time and expense that goes in to it.  That is something else that I am sure I will start finding the time to get better at the older that I get.  One goal I have is to figure out how to put on eyeliner.  Would you believe that I am 32 years old and have never worn eyeliner before???  But I will OCCASIONALLY wear mascara.  Since I only wear it every now and then, the last thing I want to do is pay a fortune.  So I was so excited when I noticed that Walmart now has E.L.F. brand makeup.  I had never tried this makeup but I have heard of it and heard great things about it.  They have eyeshadow for $1.00!!!!  They also have mascara that is anywhere from $1 to $3.  I bought this double use tube (one side is waterproof) for $3 and I love it. I know some of you are going to think I am out of my mind with this next one.  I can not walk outside without sunglasses.  I must have them all the time.  The problem is that I am obviously cheap.  I just can't pay tons of money for expensive sunglasses because I tend to misplace things all the time.  One day I was out and had forgotten my sunglasses at home so I just wanted a cheap pair to put on.  I just happen to be in the Dollar Tree....yes, I bought a pair of $1 sunglasses at the Dollar Tree.  I LOVE them.  They are comfortable and cheap.  I don't have to worry about losing them b/c I get my money's worth out of it on the first day.  Like when that wave swallowed me whole at the beach and stole my sunglasses right off my face....WHO CARES b/c you only paid $1 for them!!!  The best thing is that I can buy like ten pair and have them everywhere as back ups in case I forget them at home.  I know, you can't believe it but I happen to love my Dollar Tree sunglasses!!!

Alright everyone....Happy Friday and if you have a hunter husband like mine, may you not be lonely this hunting season!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Random Life Post....

First off....please go over and give lots of love to the parents of Super Ty at .  Ty lost his battle with cancer yesterday at just 5 years old.  I won't lie, I cried like a baby when I read her post.  I have followed this blog forever and even though I don't know them, I was too invested to stop reading it everyday when I knew it was making me so sad.  I have seriously prayed everyday for this little boy and prayed that he would feel peaceful and that God would have mercy on his parents.  My heart just breaks for them!

On a different note, I have felt a little better this past week.  My heart was so full of a heaviness that I just couldn't explain and still can't.  I just started to pray daily for relief and strength.  I feel like each day the heaviness lightens a little more but not completely yet.  My best friend sent me something that was in her devotion and  is so true.  This is something that I am trying to remember everyday.....
 Satan wants you to believe God is holding out on you. You can be like God. You can be your own god. Rather than being thankful for what we do have, he points out what we don’t have. 
We have had some sickness going on in our house.  Tegan had his 5 years shots on Monday.  Tuesday he woke up with a really high fever.  I know that is common but it just really bothered me b/c it is the first time I have ever let him get combined shots.  He usually gets them one at a time on an altered schedule b/c of his problems earlier in life.  Now I'm not so sure if it was the shots or that he caught something while we were in the Dr.'s office for TWO HOURS!!!  He is all better now and back at school against his will. 
My husband woke up Monday night sick.  In the entire 12 years we have been together, I have never known him to throw up much less have a stomach virus.  It was brutal.  It was the kind of throwing up that I could hear him doing all the way on the other side of the house.  He is still wiped out but is finally coming back to the land of the living.  I have sprayed so much Lysol in this house that I can't even smell anything anymore.  
Rylee is moving up in her twirling class to a more advanced class.  She loves doing it and I think a lot of that has to do with her best friend taking the class with her.
Tegan is playing soccer and is not a big fan.  His heart is with t-ball/baseball and that makes this mama happy.  Of course we are making him play and finish out his soccer season.  This means that we have to threaten him before every game to watch for the ball and not watch for airplanes:)
These pictures can be very deceiving....I think he is running away from the ball.

We have been very busy around here running our kids to soccer, twirling and Rylee's play practice.  It has seemed non stop and some days overwhelming but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

This Haunted House Needs The Long Island Medium

OK....I don't know if I believe in Ghost or not.  I probably shouldn't given my religious beliefs but I do believe that there are spirits around.  I have wrote before about how I will be laying in bed at night with insomnia and hear the voice of one of my kids (they sound exactly the same) whispering "Mama".  I will be wide awake and sit straight up in bed thinking one of my kids is walking in the room and about to get sick or something but nobody is there.  I get up and run to their rooms but they are both knocked out.  After this happened a few times, it didn't spook me anymore b/c I started to believe that it was the voice of Cohen and God's precious gift to me.  I use to hear it two or three times a month but since we moved in July, I haven't heard it at all and it makes me really sad.

This house we recently moved in to is the childhood home of my husband.  He lived in this house since he was to young to remember.  The morning that his dad died six years ago, he died in this house.  I never really thought about it before we lived here but now it just feels off to me.  I have felt really uneasy living in this house and that is something I didn't expect or prepare for.  While I should just stop thinking about it and just enjoy where we are right now, I don't think we can move on fast enough!  
There have been several things that spook me.  Let me give you some examples:
The other night, my husband was getting ready to get in the shower.  He took his towel and sat it on the shelf right next to the tub and then walked out of the bathroom to go get his clothes.  When he came back, there was a nickel sitting right on top of the towel.  Somebody had to put it there b/c he had just carried that towel from the other bathroom to the one he was going to shower in.  Both kids were sound asleep and I hadn't even went down the hall.  He totally didn't believe me when I said I didn't do it but once I convinced him, I felt totally creeped out.

There is one certain door to the outside of this house that we never ever use.  There is nothing really outside that door that we need to get to so we just don't ever open it but I still check it every night to make sure it is locked up tight just like the other two doors.  Last night I checked it, it was all locked up.  This morning I walked by it and looked and it was unlocked.  There are three locks between it and the storm door....I always lock all three locks and every time I have found it unlocked, all three locks will be unlocked.  Everyone in the house denies doing it.  I'm scared!

I have a curio cabinet in the hallway that just has some odd and end things in it.  It is a little hard to open and you really have to pull on the door.  I walked past it to go put on my shoes before going to get the kids at school and I would have noticed if the door was opened.  I go get the kids and come straight home (maybe 30 minutes later) and one of the doors is wide open and pushed all the way back.  There is no way that door opened by its self.  I have had it for 8 years and it has never came open.

We have new hardwood laminates in all three of the bedrooms that we put in when we moved here.  When I walk in Tegan's room, for some reason it makes a little noise and sounds like the backing of the hardwood is sticking and ripping up from the flooring underneath.  One night he was coughing so I ran in to check on him.  He had stopped coughing and I just stood there watching him for a minute and then left the room.  I could hear the floor doing that to me as I walked out.  After I stepped on the hallway carpet I stopped and glanced in Ry's room.  I turned to go back to our room and I could hear that same sound on the floor that it makes only when someone is walking across it.  I thought Teg had woke up and was coming to my room but when I looked in he was asleep and I could hear the sound perfectly. 

This doesn't both my husband b/c I guess he thinks if something is here, it is his dad watching over us but I am terrified of stuff like this.  I watched the Long Island Medium on TLC the other night and she is very convincing.  I think she needs to take a trip down south and come visit this house to give me some peace.
I'm starting to think that I am going crazy but that is mostly b/c my husband has told me that I am going off the deep end! Ha! 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Forever My Baby....

Today it has been six long and short years since I last saw Cohen's little body.  Six years since I held him in my arms.  Six years since I memorized him....every inch of him.
I only held him once for about an hour and for whatever reason, I never asked to see him again.  I guess you could say that I was dazed, shut down and out of touch.
Every now and then I go to my little blue box filled with things from his short life and search for something new, something I have never seen before but sadly when a precious little life is taken from you so soon there are never any new items added to the box and never any stories told about him.  Instead of grieving the memories, I grieve the hopes and possibilities of what his little life could be.
Even though I have been sad lately and having a hard time, I am very confident that my heart has healed as much on this side of Heaven as it will.  I don't wish this had never happened to me, in fact, I praise God in my prayers every night for my Cohen.  When I let my mind wonder to Heaven, I have to admit I get an excitement in my heart when I think of Cohen waiting there for me.  It is an unexplainable feeling!
  I don't envision him being older.  I have this perfect image of this perfect baby laying in the arms of Jesus waiting for his mommy.  Even though he wasn't my last child, we will forever be my baby!

Last night I tried my hand at making my own flower arrangement for his grave.  I was pretty proud of how it turned out....
 This morning my sweet Rylee was up early.  She was actually up way before me.  I wondered in to the bathroom with my eyes half closed this morning and when I flipped on the light, this is what I saw.....

 My heart literally lit up!  Before I even opened it to read it, I was smiling from ear to ear.  No one has ever acknowledged Cohen as much as Rylee has.  She was almost four when I had him but he impacted her little life.  She makes sure to mention him from time to time.  I hear her telling Tegan that he has a brother in heaven.  I have said it before and I will say it again, Rylee is my saving grace and Tegan is my mercy!  This morning my sweet Rylee wrote this for me and I promise you that these words came straight from God's mouth to her hand b/c every word of it (including the I Love You Mommy) is exactly what I needed!

 Is there anything in this world better than that girl??? 

Today I plan to be happy, if not for myself then for her and for Tegan.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life the lord has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Clearing My Mind...

I've been sick with some sort of cold or flu.  It does not feel good and is taking me forever to recover from.

I have a new found love for night time cold medicine.  Even though I have tons of snot piled in my sinuses, I have still woke up rested feeling everyday since starting the cold medicine.  I may or may not be addicted but all I know is that a cold medicine coma is the best.

I went to the grocery store this morning and bought enough for 2 1/2 cost me $80!  These people will be eating sandwiches every night if the cost of food goes up much more.

I had what I think was a panic attack in the middle of the night a week ago.  It was not fun and almost sent me to the hospital before slacking off.

Rylee is doing twirling and loves it.

Tegan is playing soccer and hates it:(  He has declared his love for baseball which is fine by me.  As long as he stays away from football, I'm good!

Tomorrow is Cohen's "Angel Day".

I think this house may be haunted or someone is playing jokes on me.

Cohen Lane has been keeping me very busy and on my toes.

I'm thinking of opening up a second etsy shop.  I know, add one more thing to your plate silly girl!  
Rylee talked me in to taking her shopping.  She took all my money!
I am procrastinating starting my work today, can you tell:)