Saturday, May 28, 2011

Yet another one....

My sister, the child that is dead in the middle of us 5 kids, had her very first baby today. She is the last of us five kids to have her first child. But today she joins the crowd and adds the 12th grandchild to my side of the family....

Savannah Elizabeth....Vannah Beth born May 28th weighing 7 lbs 14 oz!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Perspective and Grace

Meet Jessica and her precious daughter Kolbi Lee. Jessica is the younger sister of a high school friend. I use to spend a lot of time at their house during my teenage days but as life does, we all went in different directions. I have lately reconnected with Jessica and another dear friend, April. I like to call our get togethers "Talk Therapy".

Today I came with my two healthy kids to meet April, Jessica and Kolbi Lee at a park so the kids could play and we could sit and chat. I get out of the car and watch Tegan, who was told he may never walk, run off in excitement to play. Jessica pulls up and unloads a carload of stuff just to be able to get Kolbi from point A to point B but I never heard a complaint. Jessica is independent and wouldn't accept much help from me or April. But the most important thing I can say about Jessica is that she holds Kolbi Lee as a blessing in her life. She has taken something that God gave her that others would see as a burden and put her whole heart in to it. It is so amazing and so inspiring to watch her "make lemonade". Kolbi Lee is such a little angel and has already blessed so many. In her on way today, without even knowing it, she gave me perspective on life as her mom helped to show me grace. My life isn't is down right rough at times. I withdraw and put up walls when something happens that I don't like. Jessica has no idea what to expect from her daughter's life. There are no other kids with her condition for her to look to as an example and yet she loves with her whole heart. She doesn't think about her circumstances but just does it with grace, independence and as a fierce advocate for her daughter.

Let's face it, being a grown up sucks sometimes but complaining and giving up is not an option. Learning to handle life with grace, ease and less complaining is what life is about. Who knows...maybe Jessica and Kolbi Lee have just taught me the secret to my own happiness:)

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Sum, Sum, Summertime

So it is officially summer around here. The crazy Georgia weather went from long sleeves last week to the 90's this week but most importantly school is out and soccer is over. I'm pretty sure that Tegan was more excited than Ry about school being out. Poor child would try to the bitter end to talk me out of taking him to school everyday, even the last day. I think he loved it and it was good for him but he just preferred to be home.
Ry is always sad to see school end and misses her friends. She is already talking about the first day of 3rd grade!!! Yes you heard that right, my sweet girl will be in 3rd grade. I posted on facebook last week that I didn't think that I look old enough to have a 3rd grader. I kind of look like I may have possibly had her at 12 years old:)
There will be a big change with Tegan and his school situation next year. We were very sad to leave the preschool that he has been going to. It was the preschool that Rylee went to until kindergarten so I fully expected Tegan to do the same. But things have changed and our situation is much different now. We made the decision to send him to the pre-k program at Ry's school. I don't like the thoughts of my little man going to a big kid school but I do like the thoughts of both of my kids being at the same school. Plus I have heard rave reviews about the pre-k teacher that he will have and I am sure she will not disappoint. His name was literally drawn out of a hat so Paul believes that was God's favor:)
Summer is already proving to be a struggle with these two little ones. Tegan is bored and is harassing his sister. Rylee is bored and bossing Teg around. Let the fighting begin. As we speak right now I can't get Tegan to bed at 10:42 pm. He is actually laying in the hallway floor b/c he said he doesn't like his bed anymore.

Going backwards....the last week of school was a busy week. I had Tegan's end of the year picnic, Rylee's two award ceremonies and Rylee's end of the year play. I did more running around than cleaning like I had planned. In fact, I did no cleaning....what else is new!

This is a picture of Tegan at his end of the year picnic with some of his friends.

He was so proud to show me how he can pump his legs and swing on his own.

His very best preschool friend!

Rylee receiving one of her classroom awards. She ended the day with a total of 5 awards!

So happy!

End of the year play. It was super cute!

Rylee with the wonderful Mrs. Brock, her 2nd grade teacher. Shout out to Mrs. Brock for being a wonderful, patient and inspiring woman in my daughter's life. She loved every minute of her second grade year and I know that had a lot to do with this amazing teacher. She kept Rylee in perfect balance by letting her show just enough of her creativity to keep her on course.

Hugging her proud Daddy!

If you don't hear back from me in a week then send back-up.....the kids will have taken over!!!!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Flat Tire....

So this isn't really about a flat tire but that is the only thing I can compare it to. Lately I have been having these strange moments where my brain just stops working. Go ahead and laugh but you will feel bad in a minute.
When you have a flat tire for just a few minutes your world stops but it can be easily fixed to get you back in the rat race fairly quickly. Well lately my mind has been stopping for less than a minute. I mean really stopping. Like not just being forgetful and not mommy brain. It has happened to me about 5 times over the past 2 1/2 weeks and when it does I get this strange tingly feeling all over my entire body. Then suddenly I snap out of it. Like I was talking to Betty, the lady that helps to pick up my kids from school when I can't. She was talking away while I listened and suddenly I couldn't remember her name. It was this awful feeling and this is not a person that I should forget her name. That same day I was at Ry's soccer game. A mom was talking to me and telling me this really funny story but for about 20 seconds my brain shut off, I zoned out and I can't tell you a word she said. I was standing there just looking at her right in the eyes but not a clue what she was saying. The first time it happened I was at work and was in the middle of telling a story and suddenly I lost what I was saying but I chalked it up to being tired from staying up all night at work.
This doesn't feel the same as drawing a blank b/c when you draw a blank atleast your brain is attempting to remember something but when this happens to me it is like everything shuts down and suddenly snaps back on. It has really terrified me but I keep thinking that it is just b/c I am tired.
So I set down to tell Paul that I fear I have early onset Alzheimer's and he laughs at me and tells me that he does this all the time. In fact sometimes when I am talking to him he doesn't hear me even though he looks like he is listening. I didn't find that very funny since I was preparing to die. I guess this is what turn 30 and not only start falling apart physically but you start losing your mind too! In a few short weeks I will be 31...can't wait to see what is in store for me then!!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Stupid Girl...

Maybe that title is a little harsh but that is how I have been feeling the past few months. I decided over three months ago to apply for a weekend nights job at the hospital. It was only Sat. and Sun. and this stupid girl was sure that it would be the perfect fit for our family. I thought I could make a contribution to my family but still be able to be off all week for my kids. Stupid Stupid Girl!!!
First off let me clarify that I worked with some really awesome people. I worked with the same crew every weekend and when else do you sit for 24 hours in a tiny room and just talk to each other?? We watched heart rhythms of up to 32 patients each. The room was the size of a walk-in closet with no air and a camera on us at all times. We could not leave our computers or look away from our screens without relief. Sometimes we would sit in those chairs in front of the computer for 4 or 5 straight hours without getting up for so much as a bathroom break or cup of water. That makes for a very very long 12 hour night shift. But the job wasn't the biggest issue b/c really we get paid good money to do what we do. The problem was my family. Although my husband will not admit it to others, he hated the work schedule and the affect that working night shift had on me. Sometimes it would take me to Wed. to recover from my workend. Anyways my husband and I became very short tempered with each other and then the kids were just so upset when I couldn't come to stuff with them during the day on Sat. or Sun b/c I had to sleep.
Stupid Girl for thinking this was a good idea! What is worse is that both kids would be so upset if something happened while I was gone and I wasn't here for them b/c they are use to that. For example, Tegan would fall and say he called for me and ask me why I didn't come help him. BROKE.MY.HEART!!!!
Luckily my husband is super awesome and wasn't going to make me stay at a job I was miserable at. So here I am back to being a stay at home/work from home mommy! I can not even believe that I am typing that as the last few months have put such a burden on me and I was a little worried that I was going to be stuck there. This morning when I walked out those hospital doors at around 7:00 am, I was doing cartwheels. OK...maybe not cartwheels b/c I am to old for that but I was doing them in my mind.
The point is that I needed to put my family first and this was what was best for my family and me....maybe not my bank account. I prayed a lot before I made the decision and this was the direction I felt like I should go in. The bottom line is that I have been going to school the past two years in hopes of going in to the medical field but now the hours, holidays and not much flexibility has me questioning my path. So I have just done what I felt like I needed, wanted and had to do and now I am just praying that it is all laid out before me in his time. Maybe I still will go in that direction but not in a hospital or maybe I won't. Either way I whole hearted believe that something amazing and more than I could ever imagine is about to happen in my life and that just gives me butterflies!!! It is a blessing to be excited and know that more blessings are coming my way! Stupid Girl no more:)

Thursday, May 12, 2011

For Stay At Home Moms Everywhere...

  • I didn't get to go to bed until midnight last night so we will start there.

  • then I was awoken twice during the night by my son.

  • I got up early just like every one else in the world except I had a three year old trying to pick my nose.

  • Got dressed, ate breakfast, got son dressed, gave him breakfast (daughter and husband can get themselves ready and out the door).

  • Took son to preschool 10 miles the opposite way of what I needed to be going next.

  • Came back the 10 miles and then went 15 more to my daughter's school.

  • Helped work at her field day.

  • Left.

  • Went to the bank.

  • Went to the post office.

  • Did my grocery shopping in record time....25 minutes b/c that is all the time I had.

  • Came home,unloaded groceries and put them away.

  • Jumped right back in my car and headed back to my son's school arriving 3 minutes late.

  • Finally made it home.

  • Fought with him for 15 minutes over why he has to wash his hands before he can have a snack.

  • Fought another 5 minutes over what that snack should be.

  • Started laundry.

  • Unloaded dishwasher

  • Picked up the living room for the first of many times.

  • Talked Tegan in to laying down to rest.

  • Thirty seconds later, Tegan is up and the battle begins again.

  • Make a few camera strap covers that should have already been in the mail. (my work at home job)

  • Continue to threaten Tegan with taking away every single one of his toys if he doesn't just lay down and rest for one hour!!!!

  • Switch all the laundry around which involved having to fold stuff in the dryer, put them away, move the clothes from the washer, start more clothes.

  • Clean up the living room again b/c Tegan came out of his room while I was distracted with the laundry and managed to destroy the place and dump 3 cups full of sand in the floor that apparently was hanging out in his shoes from preschool.

  • Spend the next hour fighting with Tegan over how I think he would feel so much better if he would rest.

  • Give in and give up on any hope of ever getting Tegan to rest which then hits me that I will spend my whole summer with this kid going 100 mph for 14 hours out of the day with no break at all for myself.

  • Clean up his bedroom since he destroyed it while he was not taking a nap.

  • Did I mention that he got up to pee one time and wasn't watching his aim??? I cleaned that up.

  • More laundry.

  • Rylee gets home.

  • I remember at 3:00 pm that I forgot to stop and eat lunch. Oh well, to late!

  • Help Rylee with homework while Tegan tries to sabotage the process.

  • More laundry....I'm quitting that for the day.

  • Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

  • Update my etsy shop and check emails.

  • Crap...the living room is destroyed again and some one (not naming any names) unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper b/c the nameless person thought it was funny.

  • Start dinner.

  • Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

  • Eat dinner but get up no less than 12 times to get stuff for everyone but myself.

  • Get ready and go to Rylee's soccer game or practice...whichever the day holds.

  • Fight Tegan to keep him off the field the WHOLE ENTIRE GAME!!!!

  • Come home.

  • Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

  • Give Tegan a bath.

  • Get Rylee in shower and then get all her stuff out for school the next morning.

  • Get kids a bedtime snack.

  • Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

  • Clean the kitchen from dinner.

  • Put the kids in the bed.

  • Spend the next one and a half hours fighting Tegan to stay in his bed and go to sleep.

  • Pee for probably the 12th time today but yet it is the first time that I have done it without an audience.

  • Shower.

  • Do more sewing.

  • Eat me a snack b/c let's face is the first time I have really gotten to eat and enjoy it all day long.

  • Clean up the living room again.

  • Fix my husband's lunch

  • Fix Rylee's lunch

  • Get the coffee ready to start.

  • at 11:30 at night I finally sit down for a moment to myself....very tired.

  • At 12:00 I finally goo to bed only to be awoken by either my sleep walking daughter or my orange juice drinking thirsty son just two short hours later.

  • Tomorrow....same cycle yet always a surprise.

During all this I dealt with the phone ringing, the man painting the house, the dishwasher not working, 31 three year old temper tantrums, a sassy talking eight year old, potty breaks and so many other things that I just can't keep up.

I know that it is hard to work and have kids. I did it for 4 1/2 years...I know what it is like. It is just as hard as what I am doing now. We live off of one income in a two income world. Gas prices and rising prices of pretty much everything has us home bound more than I would like so I will have to get creative this summer. I don't get to sit down and kick my feet up and I suspect that every mom, working or not, feels this way too.

Things I miss about working are: driving to work in dead silence and saying my prayers, being just Tabatha who only has to take herself to the bathroom, eating my lunch alone, getting dressed in something other than a t-shirt, adult conversation, having a sense of purpose outside of the home.

Things I love about being home: Raising my kids!!!!!!!!!!! Yes they drive me crazy. Yes I want to cry some days but I love these little people more than anything so for them I do this routine (give or take a little) every single day just like a working mother gets up and goes to work for her kids every single day. I give of my time just like every woman who goes by the name Mommy. It is not lost on me that I give the greatest gift ever to my kids, my time but I also can't buy them the things they want at this point. They have everything they need but when it comes to the wants there is a lot left to be desired. All that being said...I love staying home with my kids but there are some days that I envy the working mother just like I envied the stay at home mother when I worked. Apparently we can never be pleased!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Mommy - 1 House - 7

The great clean out of 2011 has begun at my house. Yes...I conquered Tegan's bedroom yesterday. Although it still doesn't look like the pottery barn room I dream of, we can at least walk in there once again.

I even have an empty storage container left over that was once full of toys.

Only 7 more rooms in this house to go!!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mama!!!

Even though I work weekend nights, I was able to salvage some of Mother's Day and enjoy it. I had went to lunch with my mom and two sisters last Friday b/c I knew that I wouldn't be able to function much on Sunday. I was able to go out to eat with my little ones which always reminds me that being a mommy means NEVER having a day off. Rylee complained about her food, Tegan wouldn't eat and they both got tired of sitting there. But all in all it was a good little celebration. I am always thankful for my children and yet sad for the one I am missing which makes Rylee and Tegan that much more of a blessing to me. I'm not always a perfect mommy and they aren't always the most calm and respectful children but they are my blessings that I am oh so thankful for everyday....all three of them!

Well Tegan didn't want his picture made and my loving husband didn't realize he had on his sunglasses....story of my life!

Hope you all had a very blessed Mother's Day!!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Real Life

I read a lot of different blogs. I like to think of it as learning about life but instead I think it is just a nosey addiction. I read some blogs that are real all the time but I read some that may or may not be sugar coating life. I would LOVE to believe that there is a such thing as a perfect person, perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect food and perfect faith but just call me the glass half empty girl.

I have very good intentions but it seems that late at night while no one is sleeping, everything in my children's bedrooms decides to jump out and lay in the middle of the floor. It is a never ending losing battle at this house and I think lately I have just given up more and more. I am noticing though from other blogs that I read that the kids don't look like they have toys busting at the seams. I mean don't get me wrong they have more than enough but for whatever reason it is beginning to look like my kids have way more than they will ever need in their little lifetime. It is not lost on me that they are very lucky but I have to do something about the clutter in their rooms and this whole house. All of you know that organization is not my strong point but sometimes there can be no organization when there is just way to much stuff.

The following picture is from the pottery barn kids website but I kid you not, this is exactly what some other blog pictures look like. Where are all the toys in the floor??
Now this is what my dear little man's room looks like.... Now of course this is after he has been playing some but the point is that there is just no where to put all this stuff!

The worst part is that this is only one part of the bedroom. There are just as many toys in every corner!

I think I need some help around here!!!


Today was career day at my daughter's school and she went dressed like this....

One day she is going to be a real rockstar but right now she is my rockstar!!!!