Thursday, October 28, 2010

Ask and you shall receive....

So I've been mean. I've been plotting, scheming and determined to cause a stink. You see I have a problem with "asking" for....well anything. Since the beginning of my days as an adult I have always had issues with asking for help with....well everything. I've gotten myself in a few messes due to this don't ask disorder that I have. EverydayRecently it has been brought to my attention (she clears her throat) that I don't ask for things that are simple to ask for. Like if I want something done around the house, I say "I wish you would give the wild child a bath". Apparently that isn't very clear and since I don't say the magic words I will be giving the wild child a bath. It's not just that but apparently there are a lot of things that I would love to get done by someone other than myself but since I want to either "tell" someone to do them or "wish" for someone to do them or expect someone to read my mind, it just doesn't happen. I get mad and build up this really crazy anger until I can give payback. This time payback was going to come in the form of hundreds of tiny post-it notes that read "see I did that and nobody asked me to". Someone recently said to me that the male species doesn't exactly think like us and may not notice that the same things need to be done that the average (or over achieving) female notices. That really got me thinking....why don't I just ask??? I mean, if I ask and say please and said person still doesn't do it then I have every right to get upset. But if said person is just simply needing me to ask then why don't I just ask. Wouldn't that bring so much more peace in my household than to be stubborn and set in my ways? Wouldn't that possibly bring to light all the things I actually do around here without me having to shout out a verbal list of those things just to justify it in my head? All I want is to have a peaceful house, with a peaceful family....can I achieve that by being determined not to ask? Nope, I can't. Since said person doesn't grant wishes, isn't good at taking stern orders and apparently isn't a mind reader, I have decided I will just start asking for what I want and pray for the sake of said person's fingers and toes that they are more than willing to fulfill my request:) Ask and you shall receive...right?? (no really, I'm asking)


I just posted some cute new camera strap covers over in my ETSY shop. I wanted to share one with you that is very unique. I have never made anything with a ruffle before or didn't even know how to make a ruffle until today. I think this camera strap cover turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself. It took me way longer to make it and way more fabric to make it than all my others but it was so worth it. If it doesn't sell within a week, I may just keep it for myself. I love love love it!!!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Breakfast for Supper

I don't know about you but I LOVE to breakfast foods. My kids love it too!!! Breakfast is awesome and hopeful. Like when you wake in the morning you get ready, eat breakfast and fully expect the day to be awesome just to have most days be a let down and not be what you were anticipating. I relate my euphoria in the mornings to how much I love breakfast foods. I just wish that most days I still had that same feeling at supper like how breakfast food taste better for supper. I get tired and run down. So my goal is to figure out how to think on a level of being hopeful even at the end of the day. A way to not let the world get in my way with its stress, money, fighting, lies, gossip, cleaning and STUDYING! I want to have breakfast for breakfast, lunch and SUPPER:)

Monday, October 25, 2010

The usual stuff

So it is Monday yet again. I have been to 5 labs for this darn class and only have four more to go. I am so counting down. We finish with labs a week before we finish with lectures so there is still almost 6 weeks to go. I did pass my first test and so far I haven't failed any of the 9 quizzes that we have had but to say that I am slap worn out would be an understatement.
I am so not a morning person so this class has done nothing but remind me that when I graduate from college and go to get a job in a hospital, it will more than likely be a night shift job:)

Tegan is getting so darn tall that I can't keep up with him. He has really started to change and isn't the handful that he once was. I'm trying not to stress about life's little lessons and just enjoy these children while they are little but why does life have to be so hard.

Rylee went deer hunting with Paul for the first time. She did great but they didn't see anything. She also went skating for the first time this weekend and wasn't to thrilled with it. We are moving to plan B for her birthday party:) Apparently skating isn't as easy as she thought it would be. She is going to a private tumbling lesson every Wed. and she Loves it! hopefully she will at least master the cartwheel soon.

It is a rainy day in Georgia. Of course it only rains on days that I have to be at school at 7:30 in the morning...go figure.

We took the kids to a pumpkin patch yesterday and they LOVED it. Pictures to follow.

There you go Stephanie Potts....not much time to write but a little something just for you:)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Nothing stays the same...

On this date 4 years ago we were just two short weeks out from burying our infant son when my husband's dad had a heart attack and passed away while my husband and his sister desperately performed CPR on him. I remember it like it was yesterday....they had taken us in to the hospital room to see him after he was pronounced dead. I started to feel like I would vomit but not at the sight but at the thought that he could possibly be gone. I went outside the hospital and was just standing there in shock. It was raining. When Paul came out I remember that desperate feeling of wanting to help him. He had on a hooded sweatshirt and had told me to wait there while he went to get truck. I watched him drop his head, pull his hood over his head, stick his hands in his pockets and slowly walk away. My husband's dad was his best friend...the one and only male that he could ever count on in his life. If he was going to do something manly he didn't call friends he called his dad. He held it together pretty good the next day or two. The morning of his funeral he looked at me and told me he couldn't believe he was getting ready for his dad's funeral.
Starting this day four years ago we had to figure out how to grieve for my husband's dad and our son. Standing by a casket at the funeral home that had a line that went out the door and through the town of people wanting to pay their respects was exhausting. The viewing was from 6 to 9 but the line was finally slowing down somewhere around 10. The worst part was that most people that had heard about our son was paying their respects for both. Over and over we heard how sorry they were for my father-in-law's passing and the passing of our infant son. It was a double whammy to say the least.
My husband struggled for probably the next two years after this day. He didn't want to talk, he didn't care and he wasn't really here mentally. But that didn't matter to me, I was determined to stand by my man. Not that it wasn't hard and that there weren't moments of doubt that we would survive but we did. I honestly believe that if our marriage can survive October 06, it can survive anything.
My husband takes care of me...always has but this was the one point in our marriage that he needed me to carry him. So I did. He is so much like his daddy and Tegan is proving to have the same gene pool as the two of them. They like to pick on people for fun, stubborn as ever and determined. I love my husband with all my heart and am so proud of him for how he has fiercely came back to us and is better than ever!!!

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great Joy" Jude 24

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Banging My Head Against a WALL

So I have been studying...that's pretty much it. The house hasn't been cleaned. The kids and hubby are eating quick meals and I am just plain tired! But I'm planning on surviving. I have 3 weeks down with 7 more to go. If you aren't keeping up that is 14 more lectures and 6 more labs. It wouldn't be so bad if this was a somewhat regular class but nope, this class is where we learn pretty much everything about the body and are expected to retain it. Let's see, do you know what a Ligamentum Arteriosum is?? If you do then you are just being a smarty pants. I know where it is but what it clue. Right now I am having to learn all the vessels in the body for lab and study for a major test over the Endocrine system, blood and the heart for lecture. This is not an easy task so I may very well have to take power naps every 30 minutes throughout the weekend. I have class three days a week and this week we had a THREE quizzes.

Since I have been stuck in a book for the past couple of weeks there hasn't been much couponing and saving. In fact we are about out of food so a grocery trip is in my near future but a grocery trip with coupons...not sure the time will allow. I did do a quick run to CVS after class today and I do believe I got an awesome deal. I'm not going to break it down but my total for two transactions should have been $43.36. After sales, coupons and extra care bucks from previous transactions, I only paid $11.41. Awesome!!! that is enough of that. Time to go back to banging my head against a really really hard wall!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Christmas DEALS

So I have Christmas on the mind already. I'm watching for deals, coupons and sales that are already going on around us. I saw this posted over on Frugal Coupon Living and thought that I would share it with you guys. She has an awesome scenario of how to get a deal on this and get it down to $2.99 and also get Toy Story which I am so wanting for Tegan for Christmas. I'm pretty sure Rylee doesn't have this movie so it will make an awesome Christmas gift for her too!
You can get your $10 off coupon HERE . You have to register but they put out kids movie coupons every couple of weeks so start now and get a nice collection of birthday or Christmas gifts.
I got another steal for you but I'm not sure of the details so I will have to post that a little later...maybe.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sharp Knife of a Short Life...

Tonight at around 10:30 pm will mark exactly four years since the day that I delivered my son straight in to the arms of our creator. Devastating....on my bad days but life changing on my good days.

It's been four years since I held his tiny lifeless body and I can still feel him, smell him and envision every inch of his tiny little body. His short life has been my sharp knife. Overcoming something like this has nothing to do with letting go or moving on but more like accepting it and not letting it be in vain. If I lived the rest of my life miserable b/c of the cards that the good Lord dealt me then I would be doing a huge injustice to my son. Cohen Minish's short life has taught me more than any other life experience that I have ever had.

Recently Rylee put some perspective on things for me. We were in the car and I was complaining saying something to Paul about how I couldn't do something b/c I am the mother of two children. Rylee's sweet little voice comes from the back seat and said "mom, you have three children....there are THREE of us!" When I got pregnant with Tegan and people would ask if I had other children, I always made a point to say "Yes, I have two other children" and if they asked for ages then I would not only tell them about Rylee but about my little boy in heaven. But at some point I stopped doing that. I have no idea when and I'm not even sure that I noticed it but it hit me like a ton of bricks when Rylee said that in the car. I DO HAVE THREE CHILDREN!!! I love them all with all my heart. I look forward to life here on earth with my living children and yet I get to look forward to death when I will reunite with my precious baby boy.
The little boy that God choose to bless me with has taught me about sacrifice. He has also taught me about heartbreak, grieving, healing, loving and forgiving. His life has showed me that what I thought mattered doesn't really matter at all and the things that do matter need more of my time and attention. Kindness...that is a huge one. People showed me kindness after losing Cohen. They prayed for me and dealt with me during my grief. So I try to show kindness to others b/c you never know what they are dealing with that you can't see on the surface. Yes I had Cohen and my body healed quickly but my heart is still a work in progress. I have lots more good days but I do have heavy hard days.

We all experience the sharp knife of a short life at some point in life...mine just happens to be my son. I love this song below where she says "Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, She'll know I'm safe with you she stands under my colors." I look for signs everywhere and I am blessed to have the Lord give me those little pieces of comfort.
Today is a day that I celebrate and grieve. I will continue to do this for all the days of my life. I love my children...ALL THREE OF THEM!!