Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Down the road...

WARNING: Serious post ahead

So my husband and I have been in a deep discussion tonight about a certain direction to take our family in. Not sure if it is obvious or not but we are not in total agreement of the road ahead of us. I am an unfaithful faithful person...Let me explain. An unfaithful faithful person to me is someone who lets worry creep in to their life and take over. When small things need to be provided, I worry about how and if it will be provided. But when there is something big I'm usually the first one to want to take the leap of faith and let God work out the details. So to break it down...I worry about if I can buy clothes(wanted...not needed) for my kids but when it comes to being a stay at home mom I never had a doubt that the good Lord would hand us what we needed. This definition is my own definition...I've actually never heard this term before so maybe I should copyright it:)
My dear Hubby is very different...he is cautious and doesn't lay much in God's hands without asking for it back several times. He will NEVER take a leap of faith but yet doesn't sweat the small stuff. The things I sweat are so unimportant but the things he sweats are the big things that there is no possible way to work out the details without just letting it happen. In other words he is an extreme realist and I am not so much.

I'll get there in a minute...stick with me!

Have you ever felt the pull of God? A desire to do something beyond your own little life? When it is there, its there. I know that life happens just as it should. We have walked a sometimes horrible road over the last four years of our life losing a child, family members, jobs, money issues, etc. During those times my faith was the strongest ever. I never could have imagined the goods and bads that would happen in my life and not knowing that is a blessing. We can't see the future, we can't predict how great or horrible things may be but we can have faith. We can hold tight to what we believe and know that the red carpet is already rolled out for us, we can follow it willingly or we can fight it but either way we will end up following it. Maybe the pull that I am feeling from God is preparing me for down the road and the timing just isn't right now b/c my husband doesn't feel it. So I will just back off and place my life in his hands...again and again. I believe in God's favor and that the flow of life is what makes us...US! My cup will run over soon but I am blessed to not know when. Do you have any idea how hard it is to talk a realist in to taking a leap of faith??


  1. Interesting. I love reading your post b/c they are so....REAL. Anyway I need to start blogging...just haven't made that a habit yet... you inspire me though!

    So may I ask...what is it you feel God pulling you to do?


  2. Wow...can NOT believe I've found and I are in very similar situations...2 bio kids, lots of loss, thinking about adoption. I'd love to talk to you email is