Friday, August 29, 2008

Party, Toys and Cake.....OH MY!

So last weekend we had the last 1st Birthday Party that me and Paul will ever throw. Tons of toys and way more people. It was just a family party but since just my side with parents, siblings and each of their families involves somewhere around 23 people (give or take a few) and then all of Paul's family....well let's just say it is a huge bash. Tegan got lots of great toys that he has really enjoyed playing with, some diapers that I have enjoyed not having to buy, some eating utensils and lots of winter clothes! He will be the best dressed kid on the street....there aren't that many kids on our street but if there were, he would be the best! Tegan had the beloved smash cake which he loved and was more than happy to give it some love! Is there anything this kid doesn't fabric, lint, bugs, cake, etc. Anyways, here are some great pictures from our party filled day. Side note...this was our third family birthday party of the weekend. We have lots of August Birthdays on my side and Paul's side. Seems like the majority of my moms grand kids were either born in January or August....I have one that lands in each of those months.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Happy Birthday

One year ago today my little man was born. He is a complete miracle after trying to come out at just 20 weeks gestation. It has been a year filled with lots of unknowns when it came to his health but we feel like we have overcome that and he is doing so great these days.
Make sure you have your volume turned up so you can hear the music. It makes the slide show even better!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wild Man

Tegan is a wild man these days. When he wants it he can get it and when you take it away he will pitch a tantrum like you wouldn't believe for it. The one thing that my kid is early doing and it has to be knowing how to pitch one heck of a fit!

Creative Sleeping

It's not uncommon to walk in to Rylee's room after she is asleep and see her doing or wearing something crazy. She has a huge personality...even in her sleep!

Sunday, August 17, 2008


Tonight I was talking to an "old" good friend of mine that I have been friends with since my middle and high school days. She went to our 10 year class reunion last night which I opted to skip and went out with two friends from high school. Anyways she was talking about a girl (we will call her M) whom I also use to hang out with a lot. M's sister (we will call her J) has a child about Tegan's age. I have heard about this baby's condition once before but have never heard how bad it really was until tonight. The baby is one and can not do anything (can't lift head, roll over, etc..) and they aren't sure if she can even see at all or if there are just neurological issues that make her have problems focusing and tracking. I'm getting to the point here...M was talking to my friend and telling her about how her sister has really disconnected to everyone and feels like that J has done this b/c she blames herself and knows that what happened to her child was her fault as does M. When my friend said this I had to pick myself up off the floor. I asked then why J or M would think this. My friend informs me that J asked to be induced at 37 weeks and after lots of complications in labor this is what she gets. Apparently her numbers were a little off and the baby was earlier than they thought but not by much, maybe a week off I think. I could be wrong but anyways I was shocked that her very own sister would be blaming her and not supporting her. I at first kept my mouth shut (who blames herself constantly) I was stewing inside. My friend then starts to say that she told M (has 0 kids) that she doesn't know what it is like to be 37 weeks pregnant and miserable. This too shocked me b/c my response would have been and was, ARE U KIDDING ME! How can you not support your sister! As a mother we blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong. If a baby comes to early we blame ourselves b/c our bodies couldn't handle it. In my case I blamed myself b/c at the exact time that Cohen's kidneys were forming, or not forming rather, I was stressing over other issues extremely. Did I cause this to happen to him? Then when I almost lost Tegan at 20 weeks I once again blamed myself b/c my body wasn't protecting him and b/c I had been waiting for 20 weeks for the other shoe to drop and when it did it dropped right on my head. Then when Tegan began to have developemental issues, was this too my fault b/c I opted to have him at 37 weeks instead of waiting one more week. Was I too selfish and this is why this happened to me...or him rather? The answer to that is no, nothing I did caused any of this (you can believe me or the 20 different times that multiple dr's have reassured me about all three things)but sometimes I forget that. I am already hard enough on myself, as all moms are, but what would it feel like to not have family and friends screaming in my ear telling me that it wasn't my fault. I mean what if we blammed ourselves and the look on everyone else's face around us blammed me too. How do you overcome that and do what you have to do for your child. My heart goes out to this girl as she is not only struggling with blaming herself and her family blamming her but now she has this baby to take care of who may never advance beyond where she is now which isn't very far. I am one of the lucky ones, my boy went from 0 to 60 in just a few short months. I am very thankful for that but I can't help but feel her pain as I heard all this. What if I hadn't been so lucky? My path would be very different and could I have handled it? Did my ability to let go of my "self-blame" help me help him better? Would my faith not be as strong or is it b/c of my strong faith and praises for healing before they even came that we are where we are now? Is attitude and positive thinking everything? I worked at a Cancer Center for a few years before having to quit when pregnant with Tegan and I always saw that the ones with the "I'm gonna beat this attitued" and the "God is with me" faith always did better and had better quality of life. Did they all heal and live....NO but for those who did pass away their time they had left here was much better for them! I'm getting off track, my point here is if there is a way that I can reach out to this person (J) and maybe be that support that she isn't getting anywhere else or will she have that "you have no idea what I am going through" attitude b/c my child did overcome his issues and continues to do so! Am I more qualified b/c I do have a part of my heart buried in a cemetary right up the road? Any advice my lurkers....I know you are all out there! Don't worry...I will moderate comments, if you want, only I will read them!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


That's right....I am receiving my second mother of the year award. Tegan started with his runny nose and fever last Tuesday morning. Even though the fever went away after two days, the runny nose hung around. After tons of benadryl, Motrin and Tylenol I decided to break down and call the doctor who said they wanted to see him. So here I was feeling like I was taking the little guy in for a clear snotty nose and it turned out to be not one but two ear infections. That's right, he said the left one was....what was that word he used...on yes, flaming and the right one was right behind it. So after 7 days of suffering Tegan has finally gotten some medicine to help! Poor fellow!

Don't I totally look sick? I can't believe my mom can't tell that I am sick!

Let me show you my teeth

Look...I'm walking along this table.

Nothing is out of reach anymore.

Take this, I don't want to eat this but....

I will eat that camera you are holding!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

1st day of kindergarten

Well my little baby girl started kindergarten. I didn't anticipate this to be a hard first day for her or me (or her dad) since she went to the Busy Box preschool for the past two years. The girl who stood in front of a whole full church and sang patriotic songs very loudly woke up nervous and had a game plan to get out of school. First her belly hurt and then she got Tegan's stuffy nose. Which turned out to be true and they have both been battling it ever since (Tegan woke up that way last Tuesday). We got her to school and although she hesitated I think it made her feel better that both of us took her. When we walked through the front doors she took off out in front and said that she could lead the way. She did try to make one wrong turn but on her second day (she started last Thursday) Paul made her lead him to the class and she did great. She keeps telling us that she doesn't want anybody walking her in to school but I have a feeling Paul isn't ready to give that up yet. Anyways, when I picked her up that afternoon she talked and talked about how much she loved it. She is so excited about going back this long do you think this will last! Enjoy the pictures!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Culprit....A Phonebook???

So me and Rylee did a craft project this week. She is always wanting to dial the telephone so I thought it would be a good idea to teach her about 911. I gave her lots of different situations and asked her how she would handle it. One being what if something happened to mommy while giving Tegan a bath....I taught her to first pull the plug on the bathwater and let the water out but leave Tegan in the tub and then dial 911. While teaching her this I asked her if I should write it down and she said she could remember the number 911. So then I got another idea to make her a phonebook that she could understand. So we went on the computer and picked out pictures of close family and printed them out. Then I wrote their names at the top and then I told her the telephone numbers as she wrote them. Since she can't read yet, the pictures are her guide for who the number belongs to. She loved it.
The point to this story is that I got in the shower tonight and she just runs free. Well I went to get out of the shower and I heard her talking to someone as if she was having a total conversation. I thought she had let someone in the front door but then I saw her walking around on the phone. She was talking to my sister Melissa. She had decided to practice with her phonebook and by this point had called Amy, Mama (who wasn't home and she called another 15 times later) and Melissa. Then I took the phone and talked to Melissa while she stood there letting me know that she needed to use the phone and the next thing I know she had called Shannon but she didn't answer. Well the house phone rings and I go to get it but she goes ahead and answers it as if she knows what is going on. This phonebook thing may come back to bite me! If tonight means anything...she will need her own phone line by the time she is six!
She decorated it herself.

I blocked out the phone numbers in the below pictures but I put the numbers across the bottom.

This is my Bright Idea of the Week.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Incredible Hulk

Last week these p.j.'s fit him....either the dryer did a number on them or Tegan is officially out of anything that has 12 months on the tag! I love this kid.

"Mom...why are my pants so short?"

"Atleast my belly is covered in this one...when I sit up you can see my baby fat hanging out."

The before Picture

When Mama's away, Daddy and the kids play. Rylee wanted to hold Tegan, so Paul let her and at some point he said she tried to stand up with him and dropped him on his head. Don't worry she wasn't far off the ground when it happened and Paul said Rylee was more upset about it than Tegan. That is until he told Rylee that it was o.k. b/c her mama(me) was dropped on her head as a child also. NOT FUNNY!

I'm almost as big as you big sis!

O.k. enough of this...I have a feeling something bad is about to happen! Put the camera down daddy!