Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Best Little Boy In The Whole Entire World!!!

Today is my sweet little Tegan's 6th Birthday!  How in the world is he already six??
He is the perfect little boy for our crazy little family.  He gives us energy and keeps us on our toes.
For the past six years he has pushed my buttons and slap worn me down with all his energy and very boyish ways.  I have complained and grumbled about how hard he is to handle and how exhausted he makes me but I have to tell you, I wouldn't trade that stuff for a single second.  Yes he is full of energy and mischief but he is also totally full of sweetness, kindness, love and so many other things.
More recently I have noticed that this kid has a heart of gold.  As he gets older and I am around more kids his age, I start to realize that I am a very lucky mama.  He isn't mean or harsh to others.  He tries to include everyone even when others are not including him.  His heart is so tender and so full of kindness for others. 
I will take all that energy and bouncing off the walls any day for a kid who genuinely loves others!

Over the past year he has played soccer (hated it), t-ball (loved it), football (tolerates it) and golf (loves the golf cart and being with his daddy).  He has just lost his first two teeth (bottom front) in the last two weeks and poor thing literally lost one of them but the tooth fairy gave him money anyways:)
 He does everything on his own time.  The more you push him the more he doesn't have interest.
Over the summer he went from being terrified of the water to completely teaching himself to swim....wish I could take credit for that.  I have shown him a thousand times how to tie his shoes and then one day about a month ago, he just sat down and did it all by himself.  I am learning that giving him a little time is all he needs.

He is also a very simple little kid.  I tried and tried to get him to have a swimming party this year but he just didn't want one.  He wanted a "special day" to do whatever he wanted instead.  So that is exactly what we did and even then, he wanted a pretty low key day and loved every minute of it.
The very best part of Tegan is that he knows he is my baby and he has no problem with it.  Over the last two weeks he has suddenly been asking me to rock him to sleep at night and I have been more than happy to!
 This little boy has taught me when to speed up and when to slow down.  He has taught me that life should be fun and full each and every day.  If you are a mother, you know how much my heart loves him but only those that have lost a baby will know how much my heart needed him as my rainbow baby!
 There is no little boy in this entire world that is better than my sweet T!
Happy 6th Birthday to my little man!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Her Mercy!

I've been on somewhat of a blogging break but promise to get all caught up soon...maybe:)

I've been wanting to write this for a while and just couldn't find the time. I feel like there is no better day than today for me to pour my heart out in honor of a precious baby boy, Landon, on his birthday.  Happy birthday sweet boy...you are so lucky that you get to celebrate all your birthdays on a street of gold!

Two years ago today, one of my closest and dearest friends joined me in a club that I was totally content being in all by myself. The places that God puts us in throughout this lifetime are not always places where we are going to look our best.  There are struggles, tears, worries, regrets, what could of been and so many more. If you are lucky, you make it through a lot of your life without having one of those moments that forever change your life but if you are blessed, God gives you that one thing that can forever change you and bring you closer to him even when you don't want to trust him.

I wrote this blog around this time two years ago....CLICK HERE!  
It was heartbreaking to hold my own lifeless son and put his precious body in the ground but it is just as heartbreaking (if you can believe that) to watch someone so close to you have to do the same thing and you know every emotion they are feeling.  When you stand in a hospital room and watch her memorize every inch of her son's body just as you told her she would just a day earlier.  When you watch the life be sucked right out of her b/c a part of her heart is gone forever.  When you try to reassure her that she will feel peace again one day but her eyes say she doesn't believe you.  Those moments, they change you, connect you and hurt like hell!

My dear friend, I prayed for you everyday!  Every single day I asked for you to have peace, understanding (impossible) and just flat out be able to get up and keep going but most importantly I prayed for mercy.  The one constant I always said to you was your first child was your grace, your second child was life changing and now you wait for your mercy!  One child doesn't replace another.  Another child doesn't complete your heart.  Your heart is forever on two sides of the here and the after.  What that mercy does do for you is renew you.  It reminds you of God's promises.  It pulls you up from the very bottom of the pit.  It heals you as much as you will be healed on this side of heaven.  It helps....it really helps!

My dear friend fought a hard fight very quietly and privately.  She struggled and prayed and prayed and prayed.  Her faith finally gave her the mercy she was looking for in Cara Paige.  A little over 4 months ago, my God filled her arms, helped to heal her heart and brought back her smile.
This my friends is her mercy....

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
--Matthew 7:7

Today I pray that on Landon's birthday, you celebrate his life just as much as you grieve for it.  I pray that you feel like just one day with him was worth all of the heartache....if you don't feel that, you soon will my friend (as she looks at me not believing me)!
Happy Birthday Landon William!