Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Where Is Your Head????

I'm outspoken. Sometimes Most of the time I say things that I should just keep to myself. I am pretty emotional and have a very hard time holding things in. Sometimes I feel better when I get it out and sometimes I feel way worse afterward. I don't put my head in the sand about anything. If there is something happening, I'm not a "oh let's just let that horrible thing happen and see where everyone lands" type person.
A few years ago when a family member was seriously sick, I continually tried to relay something to those surrounding him but no one would listen. Over and over again I begged and pleaded for someone to listen after I sought out help of someone else that knew what they were talking about relating the situation. No one listened to me and eventually I got tired of talking. Well the day came when the one thing I warned them of was a reality. Luckily with the help of a lawyer and a whole lot of money, the situation wasn't as bad as it could have been but could have been 100% prevented if someone....anyone would have listened to me.
I feel like I am in that situation now only it is really different. I am talking to people and bringing things to their attention but everyone once again is going to let the chips fall where they may. Me....I'm tired of talking. I'm tired of trying. If the fear of saying something is because there is fear of a wedge in the family then I'm sorry to say that wedge is coming about in a totally different way.
My husband always says to me "you just have to remember who you are talking to and know how people are and accept that". I have a really hard time doing that. Do we just accept how people are and that gives them the right to do whatever they want or do we just stand by while we think someone is making a bad decision??? The problem is that some situations drive me so crazy that I can't be around the people. I can't make eye contact and I put up "Tabatha's wall" to protect myself when the fall out does happen. Sometimes there is such an effort for people to do something that will make them happy while they completely hurt those around them. There in lies the WEDGE. Some days I wish I was oblivious to the world around me. So let me ask....do you keep your head in the sand??

Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.

1 comment:

  1. My head is not in the sand and I find it hard to understand those whose heads are in the sand. I think this is all I will say about this... :-)