The past couple of weeks have been pretty frustrating for me. Tegan has been very difficult and with Rylee at home on spring break this past week, there has been lots of sibling fighting. Tegan seems to take advantage of me and I take complete responsibility for that. He is rough, fast, wild and when he gets bored...something big and usually bad will happen. Just to give you an example, this morning I had made me, Teg and Ry some toast for breakfast, I got them settled down at the table eating their breakfast and walked back to the oven to get mine. I turn around just in time to watch Tegan pick up Rylee's FULL cup of orange juice, look at me, smile and in slow motion he proceeded to pour all the orange juice out on the table, in Ry's plate and on the floor.
I have been frustrated and losing my cool with both children a lot lately. I have had to put myself in time out by just walking away and stepping out on the porch while holding the door closed to prevent the screaming two year old from following me. I'm tired.
But then there was a moment today where things were calm. We had been outside most of the afternoon and decided to run and get a hamburger. I ran in to a store and passed by a small artificial potted flower that caught my eye so I picked it up and purchased it. On the way home we pulled in to the cemetery where our second born is buried. I got back in the car and for just a brief moment the kids were happy and not fighting and my mind remembered that Rylee is what kept me going when I lost Cohen and having Tegan less than a year later was what saved me. Both of my children healed me in their own way...not that I think I am fully healed yet and nor do I expect to be anytime soon.
The point is that my children are wild, EXTREMELY needy and sometimes fight but they are here with me and I get to love on them and touch them everyday...nothing else matters!