Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hi my name is Tabatha and

I am a germaphobe! Yes I admit it, if they ever put the word germaphobe in the dictionary my name will be the definition. I haven't always been this way. I remember the exact day very vividly in my head. Rylee was two days old and since she was born in January our Dr. was trying to explain to us to not be afraid to take her outside by saying the following...."Cold air doesn't make babies or people sick, people do!" That is what he said and at that moment my response was as follows...."NO ONE TOUCH THE BABY, NO ONE!" So from that moment on I have stopped touching public door handles, don't touch buggies nor does my child ride in one without a buggy cover, will not go around any family if they have been sick in the past week, I wash my hands so much that they are cracked open on a constant basis, Etc......I think you get the picture. I think it is good to be cautious with small kids b/c let's face it, they are germ magnets but I really can't shake the fear and obsession of getting sick. Not just my kids getting sick but myself being sick. Let me clear something up, being a germaphobe for me has nothing to do with things like dirt. Rylee could eat a hand full of sand and that not bother me at all, it's when she touches another kids hand and then picks up her food with that same hand that I see myself falling apart.
The point of this post is to show that I think God is really testing me in this area or someone has a plan to make me go crazy. With Tegan going to physical therapy it has been very hard for me to let my little man go and not hold him back in there b/c I know that the physical therapist wash their hands at some point but since I never actually see that happen and then I watch them through the window put their hand on the door to the waiting area to call me back and then touch all over my child's hands and all over the toys that they encourage him to put in his mouth, well let's just say I have to hold myself back. But believe that I disinfect him to the best of my ability when we arrive at the car. My most recent two break downs lately was with both kids. The first one was last week I was at walmart (just to let you know, walmart in my mind is the nastiest place in the world) and I was trying to check out when a lady that worked there was standing and talking to the lady checking me out. I watched her as she was rubbing her face and her nose talking about how she would never get her hair cut at work again then she ever so graciously leaned over into Tegan's carrier and put her face in his face and then grabbed his hand which by the way was already in his mouth! She continued to do this until I couldn't hold back any longer and had to ask her to please not touch his hands b/c he puts them in his mouth constantly....she looked offended. I wanted to say....oh my, you look offended but yet I am offended that you think my child is like a puppy for you to pet on....but I didn't. Then my next issue was just last night. Poor, poor Rylee. She gets the most of my germaphobic problems. She proceeds to tell me on her way home from dance last night that one of her dance teachers cupped her hands together and let her get a drink of water out of them. WHAT!!!!!!!!! That was my response. Then I went on to preach to Rylee the whole 15 min. ride home about how she is smarter than that and knows better. She says the teachers hands were clean so I ask did she see the teacher wash her hands and she says no. WHAT!!!!!! I would never think to do this with any other child than my own, who am I kidding I would never do this with a child of my own. Poor Rylee gets the worst end of the germaphobe stuff to the point that I fear that I am going to make her like me. I don't want her to be like that.....oh if only I could go back to not caring like I did before kids. I have to say that when I do have to touch something with my hand, my hands physically feel nasty until I can get them scrubbed. Not washed but scrubbed.
So there you have it......I am a self proclaimed germaphobe. Although Paul says that a germaphobe is not who I am but yet who I am allowing myself to be! DEEP!

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