See that picture of my newest little niece above....that is what I have felt like lately. If I could fall on the floor and throw a temper tantrum, I probably would. Lack of routine has me out of sorts. But mostly I have to say that when I have things planned out in my life to go a certain way and then they don't, I don't like it. My plans and struggles for the last couple of years to go to Radiography school have been shut down. The programs around my area have gotten pretty impossible to get in to. So many people have been going back to school for the medical field. I knew that it was going to be tough, I struggled through the classes and it didn't happen for me. At first I was sad, then I was worried about what next, then I didn't give a crap and now I'm feeling relieved. Strange I know but I am. The school is very strict and goes for 2 years at 40 hours a week not counting study time. You can't miss days for sick kids or school parties.
Then there was that job that I had at the hospital that just gave me a reality check...I hated it. It wasn't the job or even so much the night shift as it was the missing things. The strictness. The holidays. It just isn't me. I am a my kids are first type person. So my mind is content with the answer that I got. I am looking in a totally different direction. What that direction is...I have no idea. I am just waiting, thinking and praying. We'll see what happens but my hopes are high and I am trying to remember that great big Godly things can happen when you least expect it!