The Not Happening Vacation:(

Que the cries!!!!

Well I booked my vacation reservations back in February....that was a long time for vacation build up!  My dear husband wasn't going to be able to go so I talked (didn't take much) my oldest sister and her kids in to coming along.  I had already gotten the snacks and food prepared to go.  The deposit had been paid and the time was finally here!  It wasn't a huge vacation but just 3 short nights at the beach.  Well a darn tropical storm decided to come along and ruin the whole thing.  All these months I have been planning and preparing washed away b/c for two of the three full days that we would be there, it would be doing lots and lots of raining.  Did I mention that my sister has 5 kids (she really has six but one is out of the house already)???  Did I mention that we would all be in one suite together?  Yes it has two rooms but that is still a lot of kids, 7 total including mine, to be stuck in a hotel room with for two days and only get one really good day of weather to enjoy before having to head back home!  

So instead I am in rainy Georgia and working like crazy on my business stuff trying to distract myself.  I guess the good thing is that they were willing to transfer my deposit to another week and it is a week that my husband will for sure be able to go with us.  The bad news is, it is THREE MONTHS away!!!!!  Stayed tune to see if I go crazy before then!!!

Back at HOME!!!!

A few weeks ago I wrote this post about a tough decision that I had to make between taking a job that would demand a little more or being back at home with my kids and depending on my business to help get me by.  I asked for opinions on here and facebook and I sure got them.  They were all good and supportive decisions that argued both sides of the fence but when it came down to it, I already knew where my heart was.  Given our current debt free situation, I had options.  When it became a huge struggle to find childcare for my little ones over summer break, I realized that I needed to follow my heart!

I am so happy to say that I am back at home with my babies and loving it!  Yeap, they are already pushing me over the edge and I may have threatened them earlier by telling them I was just going to go get a job but at the end of the day (mostly while they are sleeping) I am so happy with my decision.  Not only is it awesome to not have to worry about who is keeping my kids and what they are doing but it is also awesome to be working full speed on Cohen Lane!!!!  I really love and believe in my business and there is nothing else in this world I would rather do (job wise) than this.

Are you Mom enough? Why yes I am, thank you very much!

Oh how we judge each other.  Is it better to breastfeed or bottle feed?  Do you feed your child all organic foods?  Stay at home or work?  The list goes on and on and on and on and frankly it gets very tiring.

I didn’t really take any offense to the Time magazine cover.  I mean, I don’t have the desire to be breastfeeding an older child but who gives a crap if someone else does.  It isn’t up to us to decide.  As mothers, we should never ever feel guilty about our choices with our kids as long as those choices are what works for your family.

I was a bottle feeder.  I had total intentions of breastfeeding my first born child but then I was put to sleep for a c-section and didn’t get to see her for the first time until over 12 hours later.  Then I was pretty sure that c-section was going to kill me so the very last thing I felt like I could do was breathe much less feed my baby.  I know what you are saying….what a wimp.  Then a wimp I am!  It was my very first ever time being a patient and in a hospital.  There was no time in my situation for a spinal so when I awoke from my surgery, I felt every single nerve that had been sliced through to get to my baby girl safely.  When my son came along I totally entertained the idea yet again of breastfeeding but he landed in the NICU for 5 days.  Even still I was being pressured by his NICU Dr. to pump for him but you know what, I didn’t want to.  I had just suffered through a horrific two year process that started with trying for 6 months to get pregnant, being pregnant, birthing and burying that sweet boy, healing, getting pregnant again, being pregnant and on bed rest for 17 weeks and it had all ended with yet another c-section with a baby in the NICU.  So excuse me if I know my body, my emotions and my parenting skills  and made the best choice for me and my family not based on what some Dr. that has never birthed or breastfed a baby told me. 

Extreme parenting is in ALL OF US!!!  No matter what you say, we all have our own version of extreme.  I bottle-fed, didn’t make my own baby food, only co-slept when I thought I was going to die from sleep exhaustion, I used store bought diapers and I don’t regret one single bit of it.  But my extreme comes out in other ways.  My kids had to stay on a schedule and Lord help your soul if you (my husband) caused my schedule to get off course.  I insisted that even though my babies didn’t leave the house most days, they had to (and still do) take a bath every single night.  The most extreme (my entire family would agree) parenting that I had was my sudden fear of germs.  Don’t touch my kid or me and all will be right in my world.  Well I should say that my little boy who can’t keep his hands off of stuff has broke me of this to some extent but that germ sickness is still deep down inside of me. 

So Time magazine, Yes I am Mom enough.  I was mom enough to go through three pregnancies.  I was mom enough to birth them.  I was mom enough to survive the death of a precious boy that I still try to mother even from very far away.  I was mom enough for my kids to survive their first year of life.  I have been mom enough to get one child to 9 ½ and the other to 4 1/2 and guess what….so far they still like me.  I don’t think my kids have suffered in anyway b/c they wore store bought diapers or sleep in their own beds.  But for those of you that do any form of extreme parenting (which is every single one of us in some way or another) you are awesome.  Every parent that takes care of their own child, teaches them, loves them, clothes them, feeds them and raises them…..No matter how you do it, you are AWESOME and don’t let any Dr., friend, judgmental woman, Time magazine or mother-in-law tell you any different!!!

Whirlwind

Wow!  The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind for us.  There have been lots of changes and decisions made once again.  I will fill you in later.

Tegan finished up his very first T-ball season this past Saturday.  I have to admit that the very best part of t-ball is seeing him in that uniform.  He loved it and will be back at it next year but not before playing a season of soccer in the fall:)

After 3 1/2 months of play practicing, Rylee finally had her six nights of performances.  The last day for that was also this past Saturday.  Saturday was a big day for us b/c it meant the end to all this running around.  Even if it is only temporary, I welcome the break for right now.

She had a small part but did great and loved it.  I don't doubt for a second that I will see her on the stage someday soon in what will be a big part!  

I hope you have all had a very happy Monday!  I am trying to get all caught up this week...wish me luck! 

To My Son...

After I wrote my little letter to my sweet daughter, of course I thought of thousand more things I would like to say to her.  Hopefully the same thing won't happen with this letter to my son.  I always joke about Tegan being like my little puppy dog.  If anything ever happened to me, he will be the one that misses me the most.  He wants me for everything!  Nobody else will do when he wants his mommy.  Secretly I hope it always stays that way but I know it isn't good for him to stay so attached to me and I know that the day will come that he will want his space.  I just hope it doesn't happen until he is at least 31:)

Dear Son,

1.  Find a sport you love and pour your heart in to it.  It will keep you focused. 

2.  Do not ever lay your hands on anyone (yes this includes your sister).  Fighting is never the answer!  Oh and if I ever in my life hear that you have hit or harmed a female in anyway,  I will lock you in a bedroom at my house and never let you out. 

3.  Your Daddy is going to be much easier on you than your poor sister.  First you are a boy and second you are the second child so he will be much more relaxed.  He longs for that father/son relationship that he has missed so bad since his own father passed away....give it to him.  No one and I mean no one will give you better advice, send you in the right direction or enjoy spending time with you like your dad will!!!

4.  Your Mommy....I on the other hand will not be so relaxed.  You can have fun and hang out but being good and doing what you are suppose to is a mission of mine.  I will be that angel that sits on your shoulder.  You will always be my baby boy, letting you spread your wings will not be easy for me!  

5.  Your sister....Love that girl with all your heart.  Yes, I know that she tries to mother you to death but she adores you.  She had to deal with your mom after losing and burying your brother so please excuse her if she is very protective of you.  Stay close to her even as you grow.  She is the only other person on this side of heaven that has the exact same blood flowing through her veins....never ever forget that and never ever let anyone come between that.

6.  Always defend and stand up for your sister.  Even if she is wrong.   

7.  Do not be a bully.  In fact, if you see someone bullying another kid, step in!!!  Don't step in to a situation that will get you hurt but speaking up for those that are weaker than you, will not only gain you respect but it will make you feel good about yourself.

8.  Hold hands.  This makes me want to throw up a little to even think about but when you are 32 years old and married{:)}, hold her hand.  When walking through a parking lot, reach for her hand...it makes her feel wanted and makes her feel like you are proud to be with her.  But holding hands is as far as you go:)

9.  Clean.  All because you are a male does not mean that you are blind to a mess in the house.  If the dishwasher needs to be unloaded, do it.  If there are clothes on the floor, pick them up.  There is no rule that says that a woman has to have the responsibility of the house on her shoulders.  Never ever say that you didn't make a mess so you won't clean it up...need I remind you that I didn't dirty up all those size 4T clothes but I washed them, dried them, folded them and put them away day after day!    

10.  Ladies first...always!!! 

11. Get dirty!  Yes, your germaphobic mommy is telling you to get dirty.  Dirt doesn't hurt:)  Dirt and sick germs are not the same thing!

12. Never wear jeans with holes in them to church on a Sunday morning.  Jeans...yes.  Holes...no!

13.  Learn to do something really cool like a back handspring, water skiing, playing pool, etc...  One day you will be put in a place where you can show off that really cool skill and everyone will think you are awesome (b/c you are)!    

14.  Your pants are meant to cover your behind and your hat is suppose to sit straight on your head.  No one wants to see your underwear and you will just look plain stupid with your hat tilted or turned to the side.  No matter how cool you think it looks, it isn't!

15.  Do what is right and your life will follow the path that it should!

I will love you always!!
Love, Mommy!

A Little Help Please!

When I had Rylee, I went back to work part time instead of full time. For the next few years, I only worked 24 hours a week. Right after I had Cohen, my job at the time went from part time to full time. I only got to work full time for seven months before being put out of work and put on strict bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy with Tegan. When I went on bed rest, Rylee was entering pre-k. I didn’t go back to work after having Tegan except for that crazy little weekend nights job that I really shouldn’t have done for those horrible three months. So pretty much since the summer before Rylee started pre-k, I have not had to worry about who would keep my kids or what I would do with them during the summer.


During that time that I was out of work, I went back to school. I took a ton of core classes and the entire required health core. Then I started thinking that the medical field was not for me. I got a firsthand view of how none family friendly some healthcare positions can be. Working a crazy schedule and missing out on holidays is not at the top of my list of dream jobs.

I started my current job about a week after school started this school year for my kids. I like my little job. For those of you that don’t know, I do hearing test on one day old babies in the hospital but I don’t actually work for the hospital but yet a contract company. My job has been very flexible and allows me to take my kids to school and pick them up every day. I go in, do my job and leave. The best part is that during the summer, my co-worker was willing to pick up my slack (she would get some extra hours that she wants) and allow me to only work as needed so that I could be home with my kids b/c I don’t have ANY IDEA WHO WOULD KEEP THEM OR WHAT I WOULD DO WITH THEM this summer. Then when school started, I would just come back in to my job like normal. It was a perfect!

In the meantime of starting a new job, I started a new business….Cohen Lane. That business has grown and done very well, if I do say so myself. Working from home, doing that business, makes me the same amount of money as my part time job does and maybe even sometimes more. It has been a perfect set up. I love that little business and feel like that I can take it to a whole new level. My intentions have always been to slowly grow that party printables business in to an online party invitations and decorations shop. My heart is in that business.

In a couple of weeks, the contract company that I work for will be dropping their contract with the hospital. The great news is that instead of us just losing our jobs, the hospital is offering to hire us on in to the hearing screener’s position. There is great potential in this job. After meeting with what will be my new supervisor, I have been encouraged at the idea that we will have the opportunity to cross train for other “testing” positions that have the potential to make some really great money. Like good money. It would be like free schooling and also getting paid to be there.

The problem is that I would be required to work a certain amount of hours weekly. My whole summer plan will be blown out of water and I will be left to scramble to find a babysitter on a daily basis.

Also, I feel like I would have to choose between this new career and my beloved business. I have a hard enough time now keeping up with my business so I would think that working more required hours, would limit what I can do with my business that I have worked so hard on. If I choose to take this job, I would go all in and do as much cross training and certification that I could which would leave little time for my business….my beloved business.

The thing is, I would gain some really valuable experience and have potential to have a higher hourly pay rate than I have ever had before.

But I am not always about the all mighty dollar and feel like I would not be nearly as available to my kids.

But thousands of mama’s work (full and part time) and their kids are fine.

But what about my business and my dream of it getting really big while working from home where I am a constant in my kids lives and never have to worry about making someone mad b/c I have to call in sick when I have been up all night with a sick child.

But I would GET PAID to learn a really awesome job that would open up a ton of opportunities to me.

But what about my kids? And my business? And my dream?

But the opportunity is almost too good to pass up and goodness knows I don’t want to regret passing up this offer. This job would be a sure thing and we all know owning your own business is never a sure thing.

Can you see my dilemma? I am having an awful time. One second I feel like God is telling me to go ALL IN on my business b/c it is something that I love to do and never dread but then the next second I feel like God is saying that he has opened these doors for me at my job and all I have to do is walk through them.
Advice anyone?
Help anyone?

She's got test taking skills

I believe that horrible test taking skills go hand and hand with being an anxious person.  I hate taking test.  I would get all kinds of nauseous. My stomach would start making these loud noises right when the room got quiet, I would feel sick and screw up the whole test.  I never did great on test. 

I had to laugh when I was remembering my first major standardized test in school.  In the 3rd grade my teacher asked us to lay our heads on the desk while she was handing them out.  Once she gave me my test, I laid my head back down on top of the booklet and proceeded to throw up all over it.  Not only on it but the whole desk, floor, my clothes and a path all the way up to the front office.  I had a horrible stomach virus but at that age, I got in my head that it was the test that made me throw up. 

Thankfully, Rylee is totally opposite.  Today was the first of 5 days of CRCT test taking.  When she got home, I asked how she did on the reading part of the test today and she said "great!  I am sure I got every one right."  Oh to have her confidence and her stomach:)