I'm using birth as an example but I am sure that there are so many other moments that can bring that connection. I've felt that when watching my husband the morning he lost his dad. He had on a hooded sweatshirt and it was raining. We were leaving the hospital shortly after his dad had died and I watched him cover his head with his hood, stick his hands in his pockets and walk to get the truck for me (I was only two weeks out from delivering Cohen) and I remember thinking "that man is really going to need me" and boy did he. I know that we didn't always handle the amount of grief that we had at that time well but I do know that he stands by me and I stand by him.
Some of the best relationships fall apart but some of the most challenged relationships that stand strong are what counts. People change and as humans that is hard for us to accept but we have to let it and leave room to grow. Just think of that moment when you gave birth, lost a love one, watched your spouse be hurt or had them support you when you were hurt and try to remember that feeling.....it is never to late to get that back! It is not always about feelings in the moment but more about the moments you have been through together!