Saturday, October 18, 2008

Missed Opportunities

I seem to have missed many opportunities that I have prayed for. It's almost like I am praying for them but I forget to pray for the wisdom to have the right reaction. After losing Cohen I heard about a girl I went to school with that lost a baby even further in her pregnancy than mine. Her little girl went to the same preschool as Rylee but wasn't in the same class. I prayed for God to let us cross paths so that maybe I could offer a shoulder for her b/c I knew what she was going through. God didn't let us cross paths just once but 3 times. I saw her three different times in the parking lot and nothing! I couldn't even say hello, just a friendly throwing up of my hand.
Almost 6 months later yet another girl I went to school with lost one of her twin boys 2 or 3 days after birth. Once again I prayed to cross paths with her. Well I did at Rylee's swimming lessons. Her son was in the class right before Rylee. The first day we actually spoke I was awkward and said all the wrong things. I said all of those things I hated to hear after losing Cohen. So the next day I stole my chance and really stood there and talked to her and apologized for my words the day before. Finally I got my chance to relate to someone else going through something sort of similar to me.
Then there was today. A few months back I heard about and wrote on here about a girl a little younger than me in school and her daughter. Me and this girls sister were good friends in school so I got to know her pretty well. When the Tegan Mania first started and we were told something could be wrong with him, I heard about this girl and her daughter who is only a month older than Tegan. They too were going through all of this stuff and being told their child may never be normal. I had prayed to God for several weeks to let me and her cross paths, the only problem is that I was imagining us to cross paths in a dr.'s office or in the physical therapy waiting room, not in the middle of a crowded isle at Wal-mart. Yes I went to wal-mart today now that I have no kidney stone....sorry, I got sidetracked. I didn't recognize her but she said my name. Just before that I had noticed this lady was pushing a little girl laid back in a stroller and pulling her buggy behind her. She asked if I remembered her and I was like a deer in the headlights. I knew exactly who she was but all I could say was "Yes and how are you?" I did go on to ask how her daughter was doing these days and she said the same thing I always said when I wanted someone to ask that question and then really listen to the answer, "Better but we still take it one day at a time." Her little girl was beautiful! So I said what everyone who is scared to ask more questions does and I said "well good, I'm glad to hear that. It was nice to see you." Then walked away while kicking myself and wanting to turn around and go back and talk to her.
The lesson learned here.....Make sure that if you pray for something that you also pray for how you will handle it or respond to it if/when it does happen.

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