When Mommy is sick

I wanted to title this "Mommy Down" but I was sure that most of you wouldn't realize that I had gotten that from my obsession called Deadliest Catch where they yell "Man Down" or "Greenhorn Down". Seriously, they have been showing a marathon for the last four or five days of this show and since I just got in to it I can't stop watching for fear I will miss something important. I think Saturday I watched it all but about three hours..ALL DAY LONG! I have even stayed up until 1:00 am watching it. Crazy I know but I can't help it...it seems to relax me and make me forget that I have a really huge test at school tomorrow. I think Paul was afraid he was going to have to disconnect the satellite just to get me to stop watching it.

OK...that was not what this post was about but I can't stop thinking about it. In fact, I woke up this morning sick. Like the kind of sick where you let your kids pull your house apart b/c you can't stay out of the bathroom. When I would have a wave of nausea all I could think about was those boats rocking in the ocean on deadliest catch and I'm pretty sure it was making me sea sick. At one point, I passed out dosed on the couch and had a dream that I was sea sick on one of the boats and there was no way off. CRAZY!!!! Anyways, while I was sick the kids took full advantage of me but yet they took no pity on me. In fact they fought and fought and fought today and made sure to come in the bathroom while my head was hanging over the trashcan and tell me about every right or wrong move their sibling was making. I wanted to cry, in fact I did cry! I felt horrible and couldn't get it together. My kids didn't get breakfast until around 11:00 and even then it was just toast. Poor Teg ate a pack of crackers for lunch while leaving a trail from one end of the house to the other. I still somewhat feel the need to vomit and my head hurts on one side of my head but at least I can set up now. As soon as Teg went down for scream time nap time, I crawled in the bed. Rylee caught me in a weak moment and asked if she could do anything she wanted while I napped and I of course said yes b/c I was hallucinating about a boat and rough seas. Needless to say she ate all our snacks and moved her bedroom in to our living room floor!!! It seems that the world falls apart when Mommy is sick:)

Memorial Day Plans...

We actually didn't have a single thing planned for this long weekend but it still worked out just perfect. You see I have a really big test in my Anatomy and Physiology class this week...it is my last test before the big final. I needed the weekend to study but everyone at home and my hubby usually busy outside doesn't leave me much study time. Well if the hubby takes the kids outside then I usually end up outside too and yet again, no time for studying. So it couldn't have worked out better that it has rained on and off all weekend and so that leaves the hubby inside with the kids and me lots of study time. I can see the end in sight for this class and my very dirty house will thank me for it the very first day I am done with studying!!! Now if only I could pull myself away from this deadliest catch marathon:)

Precious...

Rewards for potty training???

When you learn to poop in the potty at my house, you get one of these....


It seemed to be a good idea at the time except now every time he does his #2 business in the potty he says "wets go to walmart, get me knew knew toy!"


In all honesty this potty training thing has been slow going but most importantly it has been moving along at little man's pace. I haven't pushed him with it and just let him move to the next step when he is ready. Let me just clarify that Rylee was a super quick potty trainer and it helped that she had an aggressive and on board babysitter when the time came for her. She started wearing panties one day and never looked back. In fact, I can't remember Rylee ever having more than two or three accidents. OK...back to Teg, one day we introduced undieroos (as he calls them) to him. Pull-ups were nothing more than a glorified diaper for him and I also found myself telling him while we were out of the house to just go in his pull-up b/c I didn't want to take time to take him to the potty(yes I know I just lost serious mommy points). He has had lots of undieroo accidents but he HATES to feel the wet on his bottom and legs so he quickly learned what was causing it and has done wonderful!!! He strictly wears undieroos during the day now.

Then there is the issue of sleeping. Well he still pees SO MUCH while he is sleeping that he actually saturates the diaper and wakes up wet all over most days. Needless to say, there is no way to put him down to sleep without a diaper on so I guess I will just keep waiting and suddenly it will happen right???

Next we have the poop segment. Yes folks, my son wouldn't have an accident in the undieroos but yet take the time to come beg me for a diaper and I would oblige. He would then run to the closest corner, poop and ask for a new diaper. It worked out great for us until I started having nightmares of him being 18 and us still going through this extremely awkward process. Teg is a clock work kid and I know exactly what time of day he does his business so I have just started putting him on the potty at that exact time and BAM...We have a pooper!!!!


Lastly there is his public restroom phobia. When we started this whole process he would use the public potty but then there was this one night at Red Lobster that involved me, Tegan, an automatic flushing toilet and pee going EVERYWHERE! So when he would scream at the mere suggestion of taking him in to the potty I had to take extreme measures. When we were out of the house and the urge hit, I would (and probably still will resort to this sometimes) open both passenger side doors, put him in between them, strip him from the waist down and let him pee. It works pretty darn good until you are sitting in a restaurant eating and he wants you to leave the table to take him outside to pee. So we started trying public potties again. I would talk him up about being a big boy and tell him it is going to be OK. Just like with the poop...suddenly he just let go of his fear and relieved himself!!! What a great moment. In fact he is so proud of himself for peeing in public potties that when we walk out of the restroom door he tells everyone we pass about how he just pee pee potty...and he doesn't use his inside voice to do this. It really is very cute b/c he has started building his own self up and says over and over "I a big boy, it gone be fine mama" and then he keeps his ears plugged with his fingers b/c he doesn't like to hear the toilets flush...even the ones that he is no where near.

Its a great feeling to almost be through with diapers. If I can just get him to sleep without peeing or at least put a catheter in at night, I will be golden!!

Can you hear it??

So for the past 2 years and 2 months Paul has worked a second shift job at UPS. He would leave the house typically around 4:30 and I would be left to do supper, baths, homework, playtime and bedtime all by myself Mon through Friday. I think for the first year I just did it and didn't think about it but as Tegan got older and wilder...I NEEDED help! I am very happy to say that help has arrived!!! Paul has also been going to school for the past year and should graduate in December. Well he landed a job...a great job at UGA in the field that he is going to school for. It is a Mon-Fri job with hours of 8 to 4:30!!!! The clouds have parted and the angels have been singing ever since...can you hear it? Having him at home has been wonderful and has been doing WONDERS for Tegan's behavior. He listens to his dad and takes full advantage of me so now that daddy is home with us every night that little man is on his very best behavior!!! Of course Paul is having to go to school two nights a week but he is home earlier and I will trade two nights for five any day!

It's about to get much better as I am getting about a month break from school very soon! It is no secret that this class has been the hardest I have taken so far. Two more lecture days, two more lab days and a final exam ....this class will be far behind me!!! I can't wait to leave it in the dust! Hopefully I will have a few weeks to relax and enjoy some summer fun with my kids! Sucks that we had to cancel our vacation b/c of Paul's new job but who cares...HE IS AT HOME AT NIGHT!!!

Delightful Fun...

A letter to you...

I will soon be 30 years old. I can hear you..."that is still so young" "30 is the new 21"...wait, you weren't saying that oh well:) In my very short and very fast moving life I think that I have experienced a lot, maybe more than the majority of soon to be 30 year olds (I still have a few weeks left in my 20s). It has been great, bad, up, down, heartbreaking, heart filling, fun, ugly, beautiful but most importantly it has been my reality...my LIFE. Lately things are happening around me and I have been having a hard time accepting the changes and the bads of those whom I call family. One "family" member in particular has let me down and disappointed me beyond what I ever thought they could. I have a hard time looking at this person therefore I avoid being near this person which in turn separates me from a huge part of my family (mother, siblings, etc.). Almost two months ago I quickly left my nephews birthday party when this person arrived b/c I just could not stomach them. When we were driving down the road my daughter and I were talking about why we left so quickly and she finally just said "well, if you don't want to talk to them and he doesn't try to talk to you then maybe you should just write a letter". For two months I have thought that comment was easier said than done. I have cried at the disconnection and wedge this has placed between me and other family members. I have felt uncared for and very unloved. But then there is my husband in my ear telling me I am loved and I am cared for and I need not look much further than my own house to feel that way.

Recently I had children's church one Sunday so I had to miss the sermon. Paul had wrote on a piece of scrap paper and handed it to me after church and it reads "The key to our salvation is the ability to forgive others". I took that and stuck it on my bathroom mirror so I could see it daily. Then I asked Paul how I should go about doing that. He explained that forgiveness is in my heart. I don't have to forget but I have to find a way to stop holding on and just forgive. So I took his advice and here you go.....I love my mom so therefore I have to accept you. You were once someone I looked up to and someone I depended on but I can't feel that way anymore...at least not right now. What I can do is say that I don't wish you any harm. What you did hurt ALL of us but your willingness to walk away from everyone without so much as a phone call....that is where my anger has lied. But not anymore. I don't care and I won't hold on to it. I was bitter for to long after I lost my son and I refuse to be bitter anymore. You are not and probably never will be the same person to me that you once were but I can forgive you. I can let go and move on. I don't hate you. I want you to learn from your mistakes and prove that you are better than your track record leads us to believe. I want you to REALLY BE the person that you are when you are around your family. Life is short and I won't let this affect me any more because after all, this is MY LIFE so I forgive you.