Monday, July 21, 2008

His Plans

His plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11.

This verse is one that is a part of my daily life. Since losing Cohen it is one that has been wrote out on a piece of paper that hangs on my bathroom mirror so that I see and read it often but there is more to come on that later. The point of this post is that many times this verse has put me in to focus. When Tegan was 3 months old and we started noticing something wasn't right with him I lost my focus for a few days. Then I went in to "patient navigator mode" and started doing anything I could to help my only living son. I have drove many miles to Dr.'s appointments, test, therapies and shots. I have watched him scream as they couldn't hit a vein in his little 3 month old arm, I have watched him be sedated while listening to the "screams" of an MRI machine, I have watched him look at me with those huge eyes every time he realizes that we are walking in to therapy or a Dr.'s office. But today, today was different. Me, Tegan and Rylee all went to physical therapy today and was so excited to show her that he has started crawling (have I mentioned once he started he hasn't ever stopped) and to find out what comes next. Well my boy is consider developmentally on target for the physical aspect now. With lots of discussion between myself and the therapist we made a joint decision to graduate Tegan from physical therapy! HE GRADUATED! He still has occupational therapy and has some catching up to do there but he has went from the baby that at six months old was floppy, couldn't even hold his head up much less do it on his belly, the child that showed no signs of seeing anything at all for the first four months to the child that could melt you with his sweet looks, the guy that can travel anywhere he wants and get anything he wants and the guy that can see what he wants! I am so excited to have this break for one less thing that he doesn't have to go through. Tegan does things in his own time and maybe sometimes needs a little push in the right direction but he gets there when he is ready. I have noticed that during the weeks when he doesn't have shots or therapy is when he seems to start doing something new. Hopefully soon Tegan will get to go day after day as a normal kid for the first time since three months old.

If your still reading I am getting to the point...a few weeks after the Dr.'s started to panic us about Tegan I started to really read this verse and not only read it but listen to it. I started pushing it....and believing it for him. I would pray to God for him and would quote this verse in my prayers. I stopped asking God for healing and started praising God for the healing that I was seeing. I would daydream of his healing. Suddenly one day I realized it was all happening. I felt as though God has changed his mind about Tegan....or changed his course. Maybe it is Tegan's strength or will or maybe it was my strength, thoughts and will. Who knows but all I know is it has and continues to happen and I welcome it everyday!

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