Throwback Thursday

I can't believe my babies use to be so little:(

and that I looked so young!!!

Gatlinburg and Dollywood

For six days, my little man ran a fever.  I took him to the doctor and heard the dreaded words..."It is just viral and has to run its course".  I was so worried because we had a trip planned for the following weekend and I just knew it wasn't going to get to happen. He would be fine during the day and then spike a fever and throw up once at night. The night before we were suppose to leave, the same thing happened but being the great mother I am, I stocked up on fever meds, package our bags and told him to push through:)

Push through he did.  The mountain air must have been exactly what he needed b/c he never got sick again.  We spent a quick little weekend at a super nice condo right in downtown Gatlinburg.  We got up first thing Saturday morning to head to Dollywood.  The bonus of the day was that I woke up with no voice....no voice at all!  I could only whisper for most of Saturday but as I had told Tegan, I had to push through.  

We got to Dollywood when they opened at 9:00 am and didn't leave until 7:00 pm.  It was a long day but so much fun.  I had that moment while we were there....the one where it hit me that my kids were at a great age.  No one cried and whined.  They could get on most all of the rides.  I didn't have to carry anyone. 

It was just a perfect day for all of us.  Now we were tired by the time we finally made it back to the car but it was well worth it.  Ten hours of fun was had by all!!!

Of course I posted all my pictures on Instagram and didn't share them with the facebook world so now I can't get them to upload from my phone and I can't copy them off of Instagram:(

Taking that weekend trip to the mountains was one of the best things we could of done.  We made lots of great memories and just focused on our babies!  It made my heart happy!

Ahhh....This Day!

I am trying very hard to teach my kids to not let the difficulties of life control them and make them become bitter.  As morbid as it sounds, I tell Rylee (Tegan doesn't get it yet) often that if something devastating ever happens to me, the very last thing I want for her to do is become angry and a victim of her situation.  It is just amazing at what God teaches us through challenges and triumphs.

To say that I have ever felt angry over having to bury my baby boy would be a stretch but a victim would be an understatement.  I had to learn to not be a victim because I lost something that was truly never mine.  My whole life changed that day.  In the past couple of years I decided that I would let that sweet boy's brief time change me but not define me and that is exactly what I pray for every day.  Every prayer that I pray, I praise God for this baby.  I praise God that he let me borrow him, I praise God that he took him so that he never knew a life without the goodness of heaven, and I praise God that he got me through it.

It is amazing to me at how fast 7 years has flown by.  There was a point when I was holding this boy that I closed my eyes and prayed for it to be a year from then because time would be the only thing that would make it better.  The thing is, I have adjusted and I do very very well for what I have been through but every single day of my life, there is a piece of me missing.  Every family picture, every family trip, every day....there is just something missing and that will never change for me no matter what I do to fill that void.  But you know what, I survive those days, months and all 7 of these years.  I still cry from time to time.  I still wonder.  I still look at Tegan and wonder if Cohen is somewhere inside of him or would have been just like him because let's face it, all those Minish boys are one in the same....I know, I'm raising one and married to one:)

To the boy that will forever be my baby....

We are another year closer to each other.  I have never looked forward to anything more than I do getting to see you again one day!

Year two post
Year three post
Year four post
Year five post
Year six post

Throw Back Thursday

Oh how much I miss this baby boy being this little:(

I'm feeling some "my kids are growing up" pains today for sure!

#throwbackthursday

School Started Back....over a month ago!!!

It seems to be getting harder and harder to stay caught up on this blog.  While I love recording our life, it seems to keep falling to the very bottom of my list these days.

The kiddos started back to school over a month ago now.  I thought I would have more time to get things done but it seems like things just keep getting busier for me...which I shouldn't complain about.

These little cutie pies started 5th and 1st grades this year...

 

Ry got off to a great start and is in love with her teacher this year.  We have been so lucky for her to have such great teachers all through elementary school.  I can't believe this is her last year in elementary school.  I can't imagine sending that little beauty in to a different school:(

 

Teg had a slow start but it seems to be getting better.  He has a great teacher that totally understands that he is young....one of the youngest in his grade.  The best thing is that there are about 4 or 5 other boys in his class that all have birthdays close to his so he isn't the only one.  Last week was his first full week of school without getting in trouble for talking or not paying attention.  We celebrate the baby steps around here:)

 

Teg is playing football and Ry has started back to dance so life is really busy right now.  My business, Cohen Lane, is still doing very well so there is no downtime for me.

 

Hopefully I can start writing and updating more.  I have been toying with the idea of just taking this blog down b/c I can't keep up but I just hate to let go of all the sweet memories we have on here so for now, I am going to try to hold on.

 

Hope you all have a great week!

 

Best Little Boy In The Whole Entire World!!!

Today is my sweet little Tegan's 6th Birthday!  How in the world is he already six??

He is the perfect little boy for our crazy little family.  He gives us energy and keeps us on our toes.

For the past six years he has pushed my buttons and slap worn me down with all his energy and very boyish ways.  I have complained and grumbled about how hard he is to handle and how exhausted he makes me but I have to tell you, I wouldn't trade that stuff for a single second.  Yes he is full of energy and mischief but he is also totally full of sweetness, kindness, love and so many other things.

More recently I have noticed that this kid has a heart of gold.  As he gets older and I am around more kids his age, I start to realize that I am a very lucky mama.  He isn't mean or harsh to others.  He tries to include everyone even when others are not including him.  His heart is so tender and so full of kindness for others. 

I will take all that energy and bouncing off the walls any day for a kid who genuinely loves others!

Over the past year he has played soccer (hated it), t-ball (loved it), football (tolerates it) and golf (loves the golf cart and being with his daddy).  He has just lost his first two teeth (bottom front) in the last two weeks and poor thing literally lost one of them but the tooth fairy gave him money anyways:)

 He does everything on his own time.  The more you push him the more he doesn't have interest.

Over the summer he went from being terrified of the water to completely teaching himself to swim....wish I could take credit for that.  I have shown him a thousand times how to tie his shoes and then one day about a month ago, he just sat down and did it all by himself.  I am learning that giving him a little time is all he needs.

He is also a very simple little kid.  I tried and tried to get him to have a swimming party this year but he just didn't want one.  He wanted a "special day" to do whatever he wanted instead.  So that is exactly what we did and even then, he wanted a pretty low key day and loved every minute of it.

The very best part of Tegan is that he knows he is my baby and he has no problem with it.  Over the last two weeks he has suddenly been asking me to rock him to sleep at night and I have been more than happy to!

 This little boy has taught me when to speed up and when to slow down.  He has taught me that life should be fun and full each and every day.  If you are a mother, you know how much my heart loves him but only those that have lost a baby will know how much my heart needed him as my rainbow baby!

 There is no little boy in this entire world that is better than my sweet T!

Happy 6th Birthday to my little man!

 

Her Mercy!

I've been on somewhat of a blogging break but promise to get all caught up soon...maybe:)

I've been wanting to write this for a while and just couldn't find the time. I feel like there is no better day than today for me to pour my heart out in honor of a precious baby boy, Landon, on his birthday.  Happy birthday sweet boy...you are so lucky that you get to celebrate all your birthdays on a street of gold!

Two years ago today, one of my closest and dearest friends joined me in a club that I was totally content being in all by myself. The places that God puts us in throughout this lifetime are not always places where we are going to look our best.  There are struggles, tears, worries, regrets, what could of been and so many more. If you are lucky, you make it through a lot of your life without having one of those moments that forever change your life but if you are blessed, God gives you that one thing that can forever change you and bring you closer to him even when you don't want to trust him.

I wrote this blog around this time two years ago....CLICK HERE!  

It was heartbreaking to hold my own lifeless son and put his precious body in the ground but it is just as heartbreaking (if you can believe that) to watch someone so close to you have to do the same thing and you know every emotion they are feeling.  When you stand in a hospital room and watch her memorize every inch of her son's body just as you told her she would just a day earlier.  When you watch the life be sucked right out of her b/c a part of her heart is gone forever.  When you try to reassure her that she will feel peace again one day but her eyes say she doesn't believe you.  Those moments, they change you, connect you and hurt like hell!

My dear friend, I prayed for you everyday!  Every single day I asked for you to have peace, understanding (impossible) and just flat out be able to get up and keep going but most importantly I prayed for mercy.  The one constant I always said to you was your first child was your grace, your second child was life changing and now you wait for your mercy!  One child doesn't replace another.  Another child doesn't complete your heart.  Your heart is forever on two sides of the here and the after.  What that mercy does do for you is renew you.  It reminds you of God's promises.  It pulls you up from the very bottom of the pit.  It heals you as much as you will be healed on this side of heaven.  It helps....it really helps!

My dear friend fought a hard fight very quietly and privately.  She struggled and prayed and prayed and prayed.  Her faith finally gave her the mercy she was looking for in Cara Paige.  A little over 4 months ago, my God filled her arms, helped to heal her heart and brought back her smile.

This my friends is her mercy....
CARA PAIGE

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

--Matthew 7:7

Today I pray that on Landon's birthday, you celebrate his life just as much as you grieve for it.  I pray that you feel like just one day with him was worth all of the heartache....if you don't feel that, you soon will my friend (as she looks at me not believing me)!
Happy Birthday Landon William!