Her Mercy!

I've been on somewhat of a blogging break but promise to get all caught up soon...maybe:)

I've been wanting to write this for a while and just couldn't find the time. I feel like there is no better day than today for me to pour my heart out in honor of a precious baby boy, Landon, on his birthday.  Happy birthday sweet boy...you are so lucky that you get to celebrate all your birthdays on a street of gold!

Two years ago today, one of my closest and dearest friends joined me in a club that I was totally content being in all by myself. The places that God puts us in throughout this lifetime are not always places where we are going to look our best.  There are struggles, tears, worries, regrets, what could of been and so many more. If you are lucky, you make it through a lot of your life without having one of those moments that forever change your life but if you are blessed, God gives you that one thing that can forever change you and bring you closer to him even when you don't want to trust him.

I wrote this blog around this time two years ago....CLICK HERE!  

It was heartbreaking to hold my own lifeless son and put his precious body in the ground but it is just as heartbreaking (if you can believe that) to watch someone so close to you have to do the same thing and you know every emotion they are feeling.  When you stand in a hospital room and watch her memorize every inch of her son's body just as you told her she would just a day earlier.  When you watch the life be sucked right out of her b/c a part of her heart is gone forever.  When you try to reassure her that she will feel peace again one day but her eyes say she doesn't believe you.  Those moments, they change you, connect you and hurt like hell!

My dear friend, I prayed for you everyday!  Every single day I asked for you to have peace, understanding (impossible) and just flat out be able to get up and keep going but most importantly I prayed for mercy.  The one constant I always said to you was your first child was your grace, your second child was life changing and now you wait for your mercy!  One child doesn't replace another.  Another child doesn't complete your heart.  Your heart is forever on two sides of the here and the after.  What that mercy does do for you is renew you.  It reminds you of God's promises.  It pulls you up from the very bottom of the pit.  It heals you as much as you will be healed on this side of heaven.  It helps....it really helps!

My dear friend fought a hard fight very quietly and privately.  She struggled and prayed and prayed and prayed.  Her faith finally gave her the mercy she was looking for in Cara Paige.  A little over 4 months ago, my God filled her arms, helped to heal her heart and brought back her smile.

This my friends is her mercy....
CARA PAIGE

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

--Matthew 7:7

Today I pray that on Landon's birthday, you celebrate his life just as much as you grieve for it.  I pray that you feel like just one day with him was worth all of the heartache....if you don't feel that, you soon will my friend (as she looks at me not believing me)!
Happy Birthday Landon William!