Thursday, March 1, 2012

Four Year Old Frustrations!

Tegan is now four and a half years old.  He has always been a very needy little boy.  From the day he was born, he needed way more than Rylee ever did.  I'm guessing that is how he has ended up so spoiled.  He has always had a way of making his mama very tired just by cutting his eyes and giving that "I'm about to do something I shouldn't" grin.  This week has proven that instead of growing up and maturing a little, we are apparently going backwards. 

He has no sense of what being patient means.  No matter how hard we have tried to teach him, he just doesn't get it.  On Sunday, he kept asking to do something.  I kept asking him to be patient and wait for his daddy to get home.  He kept on and on and on about it until I told him to forget it because he wasn't being patient, he couldn't do what he was wanting to do.  A little while later he was laying in the living room floor and suddenly yells out "But I don't even know what being patient means".  We couldn't help but bust out in laughter.  I explained to him what being patient means and he showed me what it looks like by sitting still and looking straight forward without talking for 10 seconds.  I think that was part of his comedy act. 

Unfortunately, he had some short term memory loss because by the next day he had no idea what it meant to be patient.  For the last four days he has pushed me to the bitter in.  From the second he has gotten home from school until the second his daddy walks in the door....thelongesttwohoursofmylife!!!  He has thrown fits worse than any terrible two fit that I have ever seen in my life.  Nothing makes him happy.  He wants what he wants right when he wants it and not a second later.  He thinks the recliner is his and Ry shouldn't go near it.  He thinks it is his TV time and Ry shouldn't dare turn it.  He wants a drink and snack now....right now!  If I tell him no, he melts.  If I ask him to do something, he is responding in a very ugly voice with the word NO!  He is falling to the floor kicking and screaming.  He runs off to his bedroom while screaming at the top of his lungs.  I have spanked him.  I have yelled at him.  I have even tried the whole the louder he gets the softer I talk thing.  I have gotten down on my knees to be on his level to try to talk to him.  NOT ONE THING WORKS!!! 

We had to turn the door knob around on his bedroom door some time ago b/c he kept accidentally locking himself in his room.  Today I hit the bitter end, graciously grabbed his arm, walked him to his room, locked his door and stood outside the door and cried while calling my husband on the phone.  I am just shocked at how he is acting. He has always been hard to handle but nothing like this.  He has needed a lot more guidance on what is right and wrong but usually can get control of himself.  Right now he is acting like he just can't control himself and has me in tears....literally! 

He stayed in his room until he stopped screaming and throwing his body against the bedroom wall and door.  I talked to him real softly through the door to explain what was happening.  I took his TV time away and his itouch.  I cried....yeap, I used that card on my four year old.  I cried and told him that he was hurting his mommy's heart really bad. 

I know he is tired.  School is tiring for a four year old but I am tired too and you don't see me falling to the floor kicking and screaming.  Rylee was so sweet and came to me after this whole two hour episode and told me that it is nothing that I am doing wrong because I am a wonderful mother.  She melts my heart! 

What is frustrating me more than anything is that the second his daddy walks in the door from work, it is like a switch flips in him and he becomes this calm little angel.  It is all made so much harder by the fact that I keep comparing him to Rylee.  This is the age that Rylee was when Tegan was born.  She was so independent.  She has always had good control over her emotions and has always been really mature acting.  I have never had to threaten her life when out in public for running off, acting crazy or throwing a fit.  In fact, I don't think I have ever seen Rylee through a true fit.  One thing is for sure, I am getting my fill of it now. 

Tegan and I have always had this very strong connection.  When he is upset, I am upset.  It takes every single thing I have in me to put him in his bedroom and not go scoop him up and hold him when he starts yelling "Mommy I need you so much".  While I love him so much, I need to keep my sanity and right now....I have no idea how to handle him! 

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