Unless you have had your head in the sand today, you know about the horrible tragedy that has happened at an elementary school. Oh how my heart breaks. I have cried for those kids, those teachers and their families. Nothing that has ever happened in my life can ever compare to what these people have had happen to them or how they feel and I hope it never does. I couldn't stop watching the news as it was unfolding but at the same time I wanted to block it out and pretend that the world is perfect and that this would never ever happen! I was sitting there wrapping my own kids Christmas presents while the news was on until it just got the better of me and I stopped what I was doing and left my house 30 minutes earlier than normal to go sit in the car rider line to get my kids. Even though I couldn't see them, just being where I could get to them made me feel better.
Tonight I took time to lay with my precious 5 year old (also in kindergarten) until he was sound asleep. That is something I haven't done in a very long time! After leaving my son's bed, I then went and sat down for a long talk with my 10 year old. She had saw some of the news and was wanting to know details. I told her a little about it and then did something I never thought I would do, I tried to tell her how if something like this happened at her school she needs to stay quiet. Don't draw attention to herself but listen to everything her teacher tells her. Who does this??? Who in the world has to have this conversation with your elementary aged child? My 5 year old would never understand what I was trying to explain to my 10 year old so how do I feel like I am preparing him too??
My instinct has always been to keep my children as close to me as possible but I have to let them live. I can't let my fear put us on lock down. I have to say that I have never felt more content in my life than I do tonight knowing that both of my children are in their beds safe and sound. My kids have two more days of school before being out for a few weeks for Christmas break, I just want those two days to fly by so that I know they are home with me for the next three weeks. Yes, I know that horrible things can happen to them while they are with me but my greatest fear has always been to not be able to get to them if something bad happens. That has to be the most helpless feeling ever!!!
When I got on facebook after watching the news for a while, there were so many amazing updates showing that prayers were just flowing for anyone affected by this. But there were also those that took a political stance and blaming the gun for the killings or the school for not having enough security. The fact is that 27 people are dead. No one cares about your political views or your pointing of the finger. If a crazy person wants to harm others, he will not only find a way to get a gun but he will also find a way to get in to the most secure of places. Instead of pointing blame, you should pray. Instead of pointing blame, you should be praising God for those teachers. We don't know what it was like in that building but these adults that could hear shots going off all around them, had to think of these kids first and put themselves last. I promise that if we heard a story from every one of those teachers, they would have an amazing story of how they kept the kids calm, hid the kids and protected them. I watched an interview on 20/20 tonight with one of the teachers and I cried the entire time. You can tell that she will never be the same. She packed all of her students in a tiny bathroom, she kept them quiet and clam but the best part of her story was how she made sure to tell them all that she loved them b/c she wanted that to be the last thing that they heard. She thought that they were all going to die but yet she stayed calm and protected those children. She may have saved every one of those kids lives as I am sure many other teachers in that school did too! I don't know a single teacher that wouldn't do this for their kids!
I just pray that those that lived through this and survived can one day be OK. I pray even harder for all of those families whose lives will forever be changed and will forever have a missing link.
God definitely has my attention tonight!!!
No better verse to end this post with than this...."Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
I know I felt horrible. You are so right. Last night as I was putting my little one to bed all I could think was thank you God for keeping him safe today. The other thought I had was for those parents that lost one of their babies--that they would not get to put their little ones to bed ever again.
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