What a difference a year makes...

Tegan's first time putting on real clothes. Some of my favorite first pictures of him!



I have said this saying several times over the past year or two. For those of you who don't know me we spent some time under a dark cloud. Lost our baby at 5 months gestation, two weeks later lost Pauls father, was blessed enough to get pregnant right away and then at 5 months got the news that we were well on our way to losing another boy, and finally Tegan has had many problems since birth. But finally we are overcoming and climbing back up that mountain.
One year ago today I remember several conversations. I remember telling my co-worker (thanks for listening Lauren) that I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop with this pregnancy. I also remember telling her that I felt like I needed to get all my end of the month reports done before going to that ultrasound that day just in case something happened. I guess that was an example of my "power of negative thinking" huh. Paul wasn't coming with me that day b/c we had seen Tegan so many times during ultrasound with the specialist and he needed to work. This was just a routine ultrasound for my regular doctor to get his size and stuff but b/c this was the same point that I got the bad news about Cohen I asked my mom to come. Well I knew I hadn't been feeling good the past several weeks but thought it was just pregnancy with a boy for me. When having the ultrasound I made the comment to the tech that sometimes when he kicks it felt like a foot was going to fall out. She immediately asked me to go empty my bladder and remove my clothes from the waste down. I started to go in to panic mode. I knew this wasn't normal and I couldn't believe this was happening. She checked and measured my cervix and found that I was dilating and then while she had the ultrasound thingy in me she saw my cervix change and get even worse. She said I was having a contraction and didn't even know it. This was probably the second most helpless feeling I have ever felt. I was immediately put in the hospital and then the next day after seeing my Dr. and my specialist, was sent home on strict bed rest and we were just praying for at least 4 to 6 more weeks....wow that would have only been a 24 to 26 week baby....would he survive? Would he be normal? There were so many questions and plenty of time in the bed to think about them. Then 4 days later I just had this gut feeling that something wasn't right. I called my specialist and he told me to get to my Dr. and get checked out just to ease my mind. 30 minutes later I was being told that I had a 50/50 chance I was having the baby that day at 2 days short of 21 weeks pregnant. I was being rushed over to have an emergency cerclage placed and we were just praying that it didn't cause my water to break. Well I have the best Dr. in the world and even my specialist couldn't say enough about him....he placed what he called the best cerclage he had ever done. That day changed the course of my pregnancy. Although the next day I started having some contractions they stopped them with medication and let me go home two days later still on bed rest. I was on modified light duty for the remainder of the pregnancy but I made it to 37 weeks! I was so concerned with the thought of something being wrong with Tegan like with Cohen but then something just popped up and blind sided me. I couldn't believe it. That day when I was having the cerclage I told Paul that I didn't think we were going to make it. Then before being put to sleep I asked for one more second and even as being put to sleep I remember praying for Dr. Elder's hands and for my baby and my body. I said I couldn't go to sleep thinking he wasn't going to make it. You pretty much know how the story ends....
This time one year ago my life was falling apart for the second time in just 7 short months and somehow it all came back together. Now here sits Tegan....teething and ill and won't take a nap even though he has had some Motrin but I just look at him and thank God and know more than any one else I know how blessed I am!

Toothy, Jumpy and Retirement

So much happened today. First thing this morning I was feeding Tegan some baby food and noticed that he has his first tooth on the bottom that has just broke through. That would explain his restless night last night and some of his illness that he has had lately. Poor boy....where is the baby orajel. I have been putting him in his jumparoo for a while now and he will play in it but today he finally figured out what he was suppose to do in it and was really jumping around. See the video below for a short clip of it. Then I came to a conclusion...maybe it is time to retire the bouncy seat. He doesn't sit in it much anymore but sometimes I put him in there right after he eats. Well today he was in there and I walked away and when I came back he was sitting straight up. Watch the video below and watch closely to the fact that when I tell him to bounce he attempts it. Oh and ignore the fact the he is playing with an empty water bottle...that was his dad's doing.


SORRY i AM HAVING TROUBLE GETTING THE VIDEO'S TO LOAD. I WILL WORK ON IT AND ADD THEM LATER.

Roly Poly

That's right...we have a roly poly in our house. This kid can fly when he wants to. Last night I took a large throw blanket and laid it out in the floor. I put him all the way on one side and his toys all the way on the other and he took off. He would start on his back and go way off of the blanket just flipping from back to stomach and stomach to back. It was amazing to see him roll so much from his stomach b/c until now he just did that when he felt like it but last night he was doing it with a purpose....like he wanted those toys and when he would get there he would grab one and keep rolling with the toy in hand. His physical therapist is going to be so proud. I tried to get a video of the constant roll but of course when I took out the camera, he just wanted to look at me and smile. So this video below is pretty much the best I could do but you can tell he is having no trouble with rolling now.

On a different note Tegan choked on a finger puff last night. You know the baby snack puff baby snacks. He is learning to feed them to himself and finally got one in on his own. I think he got excited and sucked it down his throat. I literally had to stick my finger down his throat only to have him throw up the juice he had just drank on me and a whole puff. At least it came out. He was all smiles....I think it hurt me more than him. Enjoy the video!

Cinderella, Cinderella, Cinderella

This weekend I took Rylee and her friend from preschool, Emma, to a great birthday party for another girl from their preschool. I picked Emma up early b/c I had forgotten completely that you should take a birthday present to a birthday party. So the three of us headed off to Walmart. I don't think I have ever been to a public place like that with two excited little girls that are free to walk where ever they want to. It was hard to keep up with them.

Anyways....we went to this party that was so neat. It's called Southern Belles and Beaus. They had one room set up for all the little princesses to dress up in as many different princess dresses that they could get their hands on. Then Cinderella put makeup on them. They even had jewelry, gloves and fancy shoes for them. They had music playing for them to dance around.
Then they went into another room that had a long table just their size with real fine china place settings. They had a tea party. They had tea(a.k.a pink lemonade), peanut butter and jelly finger sandwiches, fruit and cupcakes. They loved it and the birthday girl was treated like a queen...but they were so great you would have thought that it was all of their birthdays. They had a lady dressed like Cinderella and they all believed she was the "real" thing. She hosted the whole party. At the end she sat down with all the girls and sang some princess songs. She sounded amazing! The girls just loved it! Below are a few pictures of the day.

A picture of all the girls together at the end. Rylee is in the back, third from the left.

Rylee is so fancy!

Rylee had her picture made with Cinderella.

Rylee and Emma together for a picture.

Prom...

My niece Hannah went to her first prom this weekend and we did not disappoint her by embarrassing her with having the whole family there waiting to see her with her prom date. She looked great and they looked great together.

Picture day...

Well today was picture day around here. Rylee had to be at school early b/c they were having some really cute spring pictures made and then doing a cap and gown picture of them. That is going to be so cute. She looked beautiful in her pink and white polka dotted dress with a brown tie around the waist. I actually got up earlier this morning than I do every other morning when I have to be at work. Then I messed up and laid back down with Tegan. I have a good excuse though b/c I wanted him to sleep late this morning b/c I was taking him to get his picture made today at 10:30 so I didn't want him to be sleepy. Well after sleeping a little late and then getting him in all the clothes that I was putting on him we were off. We get there and Tegan is not happy. Apparently he thought this was a new version of physical therapy...making him sit up, push up on his tummy, etc.... He was not happy. I think I was trying to get him to smile for at least one picture that I was smiling so hard I made my head hurt. He pretty much screamed through the whole thing but hopefully we got at least one good shot. I decided that if I get his picture made again before he is one year old then I am just going to walmart. Paying all this money for professional pictures just to get pictures of him screaming is not going well for me. So he had a dressy outfit and then a casual outfit. Below are some pictures I took of him at home in his casual outfit. He is so funny b/c at home and at the picture place, every time we would come near him with the camera he would open his mouth as if he wanted to eat it. Hmmmm...don't you get enough food you little 22 lb 7 1/2 month old. Geez! I hope Rylee's pictures went better than his...she was very excited. So I forewent the trip to walmart and darted home with him for his 15 minute daily nap time. You got it, 15 minutes pretty much everyday. HE is wearing me down and out! Enjoy the pictures....at least he wasn't screaming in these that I took, unfortunately the photographer wasn't so lucky.

I tried for 20 minutes to get him to do this for the photographer....it's the first thing he did for me.

Gimme, gimme, gimme....I want to eat that camera!

There's a smile! Only 47 pictures later!

I can't reach my foot so I will just eat this hand right here!

The days keep going by....

So last week my Teggie's had his first occupational therapy appointment, besides the consultation. He did great. HE was diagnosed as being weaker on his left side than his right but hopefully we will take care of that through therapy. I have talked before about a repetitive hitting that he does with his right arm, well apparently that is right on target with development and the reason why I notice it so much is b/c he isn't doing it with his left side.
I must say the little guy loved the occupational therapist. Instead of crying he cut his eyes at her and smiled and just ate her up.

Well that was all last Friday....this week he is a different man already. His latest trick that they thought he wouldn't do for another month or two....SITTING UP! Yes he can officially set up on his own without any help and play with toys. I do still throw pillows behind him when I'm not right beside him b/c he hasn't bit the dust yet and I'm not sure he will handle it all that well. Although he did roll off the couch this week and landed on the floor while Paul's mom was watching him....he gave her lots of dirty looks. He is such a wiggle worm that it was bound to happen at some point. We have been battling with him on this sitting up thing b/c he is to big for things like his infant car seat but wouldn't set up good enough to set in a wooden highchair at a restaurant or a buggy (with a buggy cover of course). So we haven't tried it yet but surely he can. We have been riding around with his infant carrier in the back of the car and putting him in it every time we go somewhere. So hopefully those days are behind us. Before he could sit up I bought him the large ducky bath tub in the pictures below b/c he had outgrown his regular tub. He loves that thing so much that he just kicks and plays and then screams when I let the water out. Actually he will kick, look at me and cry, then kick and repeat b/c he wants the water back. He changes everyday....and improves!

Notice how he covers himself with his hand.

Playtime!

When on the floor....this is his favorite position. He loves his feet and lately has been trying to get them in his mouth but I think he squishy belly is getting in his way.

Starting early. One thing he won't be behind on is his first four wheeler ride.

Fun weekend

We decided to take Rylee to do something fun this weekend, so we all loaded up and went bowling. Now Rylee is somewhat like her mom and is a huge homebody so we had to trick her and not tell her where we were going. She doesn't really like to try new things...also like her mom...from food to fun but we knew she would love it if she ever tried it. She proved us right! For the first time in a long time instead of her crying to come home, she was crying to stay. She became so confident that she would grab her own ball and wanted to walk up there and do everything herself. She would throw the ball so hard and just cheer every time she got even one pin. I'm not great at bowling but I'm not the worst either but now I think I have hit a new low...in our second game Rylee beat me!
Here is a video of her once she really got the hang of it.

Just random update

In the words of Rylee..."He's a big boy now!" Tegan has officially been moved out of his infant carrier and into a regular car seat facing the back of course. This was put off way longer than it should have been for a 22 lb boy b/c of him not being able to totally set up on his own. He still doesn't do it great and so I worry about how we will do sitting in a buggy at the grocery store or in one of those wooden highchairs when we go out to eat. So for now I will be keeping the infant seat in the back of my SUV so that if he can't do it then I have a back up plan. When I first put him in here he didn't like it. Once he realized he could see Rylee a lot better, then he was in love with it.

Just give him a teething biscuit and let him loose. He loves them and has to be put straight in a bath after eating them.

In the above picture he is mad b/c his the teething biscuit broke in half so I toke it away. This is his "Oh my gosh, I can't believe she did that" face.

Tegan had a great visit today with the physical therapist. It actually went so well that now she is not seeing him again for 3 weeks. He is really advancing on his own so much these days that to go weekly is just not justified. He is attempting to sit on his own and was really pushing his chest off the floor very well today. He is such a tough little guy.

He goes on Friday to start his cycle of appointments with his Occupational therapist which should be good. So we don't get off therapy free for the next couple of weeks.

Rylee's Prayers

A true performer!

Sometimes she dresses herself....this rarely happens.

Mostly this blog has been about Tegan. I guess with all of the issues that I had getting him here and then all of the issues he has had to struggle through...there has just been more to say about him. But I have a precious and trying five year old whom means the world to me. She amazes me with her smartness. This is the girl who at her kindergarten registration when they asked her to count to 10, she counted to 100. She also remembers bible verses like it's no bodies business. This child will speak, sing or dance in front of any number of people. She loves to entertain. Anyone who knows Rylee is very familiar with the fact that she is just a miniature adult. She is just adorable sometimes but other times she can really test my patience. She doesn't always respond well to being told what to do but I have noticed lately that she is getting better. It appears that Tegan is just like her and is very needy. They both want my attention at all times which is hard with Paul being gone in the evenings for work. We have evenings down to a science. I cook and me and Rylee eat. Then Teg eats, I take a shower while Teg is in the swing, Rylee gets a bath, Teg gets a bath and then we all sit in the floor and play and work on Teg's therapy for a while before bed time. Nothing and I mean nothing else gets accomplished but those few things. Teg has cut out his 6:00 bottle all on his own so this means he is wanting to eat at 8:00 and go off to bed which is nice. He has woke up around 10:00 a few times but we are working on that.
Paul now has the awful allergy stuff. This is following last week when his digestive track was in overdrive. So needless to say he was already weak before his nose and eyes started to itch. It was all down hill from there. So I had to sleep on the couch last night b/c after over an hour of listening to him do some combo of snoring and attempting to breath through the snot, I realized I wouldn't be able to go to sleep if I stayed in our bed. It was like a vacation b/c I was alone with nothing to wake me up and the monitor was in there with Paul so every move Tegan made wasn't able to wake me up like normal.

I will end with my dear daughter....
Rylee comes walking in my room yesterday afternoon doing some fake crying. The conversation goes as follows:
Me: What's wrong Rylee?
Rylee: I have been praying to God to give me real earrings but he hasn't done it yet.
Me: Honey you have to pray for the courage to go get your ear pierced.
Rylee: Nah, I would rather God do it b/c it won't hurt as bad!

Later that night during bedtime prayers:
Rylee: Dear God I pray for the rain and pray that it helps the flowers to grow and that we are able to still take baths. I also pray that you please DISCOURAGE me to get my ears pierced when it get a little bigger. Amen!

Her Daddy would be so proud.

I now must go b/c while she suppose to be in the bed going to sleep, she is instead laying in there shinning a flash light all over the room.

Tegan's progress report...

My little big guy is a little over 7 months old now and over 21 lbs. He is going through this first year so fast. I remember it being harder and more of a life change with Rylee so I think that made it go by so much slower with her. Teggie is coming right along these days. I think partially b/c of physical therapy and partially b/c he just seems determined. He is definitely like Rylee though, you can't rush either of them to do anything. Speaking of Rylee Bug, that boy loves her. With Paul working part time from 5 to 9 in the evening it is all on my shoulders, well I can put Tegan somewhere and have Rylee stand in front of him and sing and dance....let's just say he can't get enough of our little budding Hannah Montana. He loves her and now is getting to where if you say where is Rylee his eyes light up and he starts looking around. He has started to make different sounds which is really good and my favorite one that he says ALL the time now is mamamamamama. I know he doesn't know that he is talking to me but he will be saying it and I answer him and he will just smile, it melts my heart. He loves playing in his saucer and plays well in the floor now. Thanks to an hour of pure screaming at physical therapy weekly he now officially does baby push ups and really holds his chest off the floor. This is a huge step for him. He still has a lot of shakiness in his right arm and although some may think it is cute, he looks like he is banging on his high chair tray for more food but it is this repetitive motion with his arm that he can't get control. We are hoping the more push ups that he does then the stronger that his arm gets and he gains that control. He is starting occupational therapy this coming week which we are really hoping will help with that arm. HE is so good at reaching for things and wants to touch everything he can get his hands on. His eye movement seems to have slowed down a lot these days and sometimes I don't even notice it but I could just be use to it. The biggest thing he is doing is smiling at us from across the room without us ever having to say a word to let him know we are there. Oh....I almost forgot.....he can set up now. Not a long amount of time but it seems to be more of a security thing b/c he can do it forever when I am sitting near him but if I move he falls. I am so proud of his progress and me and Paul are really feeling like that a lot of his issues are working themselves out. Yes he still has nystagmus that is sometimes more noticeable than others. Yes he is still behind developmentally but he has made great strides just the past couple of weeks so imagine what he will be able to do just a week from now!

This picture below makes him look so thin but don't let the picture fool you, this 7 month old guy is already wearing 12 month clothes.....as is this sleeper.

Hi my name is Tabatha and

I am a germaphobe! Yes I admit it, if they ever put the word germaphobe in the dictionary my name will be the definition. I haven't always been this way. I remember the exact day very vividly in my head. Rylee was two days old and since she was born in January our Dr. was trying to explain to us to not be afraid to take her outside by saying the following...."Cold air doesn't make babies or people sick, people do!" That is what he said and at that moment my response was as follows...."NO ONE TOUCH THE BABY, NO ONE!" So from that moment on I have stopped touching public door handles, don't touch buggies nor does my child ride in one without a buggy cover, will not go around any family if they have been sick in the past week, I wash my hands so much that they are cracked open on a constant basis, Etc......I think you get the picture. I think it is good to be cautious with small kids b/c let's face it, they are germ magnets but I really can't shake the fear and obsession of getting sick. Not just my kids getting sick but myself being sick. Let me clear something up, being a germaphobe for me has nothing to do with things like dirt. Rylee could eat a hand full of sand and that not bother me at all, it's when she touches another kids hand and then picks up her food with that same hand that I see myself falling apart.
The point of this post is to show that I think God is really testing me in this area or someone has a plan to make me go crazy. With Tegan going to physical therapy it has been very hard for me to let my little man go and not hold him back in there b/c I know that the physical therapist wash their hands at some point but since I never actually see that happen and then I watch them through the window put their hand on the door to the waiting area to call me back and then touch all over my child's hands and all over the toys that they encourage him to put in his mouth, well let's just say I have to hold myself back. But believe that I disinfect him to the best of my ability when we arrive at the car. My most recent two break downs lately was with both kids. The first one was last week I was at walmart (just to let you know, walmart in my mind is the nastiest place in the world) and I was trying to check out when a lady that worked there was standing and talking to the lady checking me out. I watched her as she was rubbing her face and her nose talking about how she would never get her hair cut at work again then she ever so graciously leaned over into Tegan's carrier and put her face in his face and then grabbed his hand which by the way was already in his mouth! She continued to do this until I couldn't hold back any longer and had to ask her to please not touch his hands b/c he puts them in his mouth constantly....she looked offended. I wanted to say....oh my, you look offended but yet I am offended that you think my child is like a puppy for you to pet on....but I didn't. Then my next issue was just last night. Poor, poor Rylee. She gets the most of my germaphobic problems. She proceeds to tell me on her way home from dance last night that one of her dance teachers cupped her hands together and let her get a drink of water out of them. WHAT!!!!!!!!! That was my response. Then I went on to preach to Rylee the whole 15 min. ride home about how she is smarter than that and knows better. She says the teachers hands were clean so I ask did she see the teacher wash her hands and she says no. WHAT!!!!!! I would never think to do this with any other child than my own, who am I kidding I would never do this with a child of my own. Poor Rylee gets the worst end of the germaphobe stuff to the point that I fear that I am going to make her like me. I don't want her to be like that.....oh if only I could go back to not caring like I did before kids. I have to say that when I do have to touch something with my hand, my hands physically feel nasty until I can get them scrubbed. Not washed but scrubbed.
So there you have it......I am a self proclaimed germaphobe. Although Paul says that a germaphobe is not who I am but yet who I am allowing myself to be! DEEP!

Pray!!!!

I follow a blog of a great family whom had a baby girl at a little over 24 weeks and the wife has cystic fibrosis. She is finally in surgery getting a double lung transplant in an attempt to extend her life even by 7 to 10 years. Please think of them. You can find their blog listed on the right hand side of my blog, under keeping up called CFhusband.