What is he doing???

First I just have to show you a picture of the Easter eggs that we died. Aren't they just beautiful??? Amazing how much prettier they look when you follow the directions:)

Tegan is a kid in his own world sometimes. Stubborn as can be. You will not make him do something that he doesn't want to do....well at least not without a fight. A few days before Easter he decided this is what an Easter basket was used for...
I, as you know, worked the night before and the night of Easter. I stayed awake long enough to dress the kids for church and head outside for a quick photo session.
Rylee was beautiful and ready for pictures as always....

Teg on the other hand was not so thrilled about the situation.

I tried!

and tried!

and gave up on getting a picture of the two of them together!

Doesn't my little lady look a little to grown up in this dress?

So I thought I would do some of them each by themselves b/c that is what wild man was asking for. Didn't go so well either....

Wait...he is looking but not smiling!

Smiling but has eyes closed!

Half and half!

I will do it inside Mommy.

or maybe not.

But he was still so very handsome and his sister was so very beautiful.

Southern Destruction

Most of you that read my blog was up late last night weathering the storm with me. If you know me at all you know that I have a huge fear of storms of any kind. I blame my mom for this:) I apparently have done the same thing to my daughter as she was so scared that she couldn't sleep at all last night.
The storms in our area were due to come in around midnight. I had spent the afternoon and evening watching videos of the horrid tornadoes as they tore apart Alabama and also saw devastating pictures of buildings and homes being flattened. I got cold chills every time I heard the death toll rise. By 9:30 pm I set up vigil on my computer listening to a live stream of one weather channel, had another on the TV and communicating with my facebook friends who also felt the same way as me. I watched as one storm in particular with a rather large rotation was coming straight for us. I prayed and prayed and watched the storm calm and turn to go more east rather than northeast.
Up until 1:45 AM I sat in the living room (alone) watching the news with my clothes on, shoes on and a few things sitting next to the door. If a storm like what went through Alabama came here there would be no way I could stay in my house. I warned my husband he was going to get a middle of the night wake up call.
Thankfully I didn't have to jerk my children and husband up and run to the church basement right across the street. I hate that I am so fearful of storms. I hate that I get so worked up about them 24 hours before they get here. The reality of what has happened just west of us is unreal to me. I look at whole neighborhoods that were torn apart and wonder where these people are even suppose to start. We always think that it could never happen to us but it can and it did happen to someone.
My goal for the upcoming couple of years is to get a house with a basement that has a finished room and a bed in it for my family to sleep in safely when or if this happens again. My heart goes out to those who have lost everything and family members. I pray for peace for all those affected and sit home on this calm night praising God for all my blessings!

Tuesday

The title is there just to remind me of what day it is. I have been a little like a zombie. I know what you are thinking....quit complaining and whining. If you are looking for that here, you are not going to get it right now. I'm tired, tired, tired! I feel so blah with this new schedule and I'm not sure I will ever get use to it. Lucky for me I have known that this situation is very temporary so I am hanging on by a thread right now.

Easter weekend wasn't a total wash for me. I missed the Easter egg hunt at church on Saturday afternoon b/c it was during the last chance I had to sleep before heading in to work for the night. Both of my kids won the most eggs in their age category....I missed it. I worked 12 very long hours. Came home and met my family at the Sunrise service and for breakfast. We did the Easter baskets when we got home, I got the kids ready for church and I was off to bed. I missed everything else that happened that day. Got up and went back to work another 12 hours. What a really long weekend!!! But I survived having to work my first ever holiday.

Tonight I was invited to an orientation at my number one school of choice for the Radiography program. I am one of 40 people that they have invited for an interview....out of 250!! I am a little terrified to even be putting this out there right now b/c if it doesn't go my way now you all know about it but maybe some of you will say a prayer for me. They will interview for the next 4 weeks and then they will select 16 people. I am very nervous about this but just praying that whatever is right for me will work out. At this point, I will be super excited if I get in and I will be totally OK if I don't. If I get in I will go to school for the next two years, 40 hours a week. Sounds a little rough but just think about how fast time goes by. I'm working on a back-up plan just in case b/c goodness knows this job I am doing now is not a very good back-up plan!

There Was This Man....

This has been a long week. I have really been dreading that for the first time EVER I will not be able to participate in every single holiday event going on this weekend with my kids. I will be missing Easter Egg hunts, possibly the first sight of the goodies left by the Easter bunny, getting my children all dressed up for church, going to church, lunch, supper....you get the picture. Except that is something that I will also be missing, pictures:( Yes, I have to work a 12 hour shift Saturday and a 12 hour shift Sunday....NIGHTS! I have to sleep at some point especially on Sunday since I have to gear up to go back Sunday night. If you have never worked nights before then you don't realize how it is virtually impossible to not fall to the floor and be sound asleep the very second you walk through the front door. It is nothing like day shift jobs where you come home and cook, play with your children or watch TV and then get ready for bed. In fact...I think I sleep half the drive home.

Tonight we were driving down the road and passed by a church. As a testament they had a large cross right on the side of the road and had a real live man standing on a small platform with his arms extended across the cross. He literally looked as though he was nailed to the cross...a real live man! That may not affect some people but it did me. I also witnessed the look on my sweet daughter's face when she realized the reality and meaning of Easter. I am very ashamed to say that I don't have the Bible down pat. I still have to look at my cheat sheet beside my computer just to remember my favorite Bible verses.

This week I have worried instead of handing it to him. I have been upset about my situation all the while he knew that my situation would be exactly what it is at this exact moment. I have felt slapped in the face by the good Lord the past few weeks. I still continue to try to push forward with my own plan but he keeps reminding me that it is not the plan he has for me.

He died so I could live! He didn't die for me to hold myself down over my own situation no matter how big or small my problem is. He is taking me somewhere amazing. Somewhere that I can't even imagine. He makes changes daily to guide all of us to where he wants us. I know first hand that your entire life can change, be it good or bad, in a single day or even more so in a single minute! As we wait to see what is next he already knows and has prepared that place for us.

He died so that I could live!!!!

Guilty Mommy...

Things have been busy lately. There doesn't seem like there has been any down time. I am still hanging on at the job but to be honest I would have probably quit after the first weekend if I wasn't so worried about burning bridges with the hospital. I thought that working weekend nights would be perfect and actually it is working out great to be bringing in a paycheck again and still be able to be home during the week for the kids. The one thing I didn't factor in was the fact that I feel dead for the first three days after working all weekend and by the time I recover it is pretty much time to go back!
Twice since I have started this job, Tegan has fell while playing outside when I was either at work or sleeping. Both times he scrapped up his knees pretty bad and both times when he was telling me all about it he informed me that he was crying and calling out for me and he wanted to know why I didn't come!!!! Literally broke my heart. I have also had some problems with Ry adjusting to the new schedule. Weekend before last she started crying when she saw me getting ready for work. She cried for the next 45 minutes b/c she didn't want me to leave.
I know it takes time for everyone to adjust but I'm not sure my body will ever catch on. I worked last Sat and Sun nights 7p to 7a. Well I don't get much sleep on Monday's b/c I have to get Teg from preschool and I want to be able to sleep Monday night. So far, no matter how little I sleep during the day, Monday night sleep is not a success. Anyways, last Tuesday I apparently slept while my alarm clock went off for an hour and a half and the phone was ringing off the hook. The only thing that woke me up was Teg coming to tell me the phone keeps ringing. I was to late to get him to preschool so we ended up having a VERY lazy day at home. I think it is safe to say that Mon, Tues and Wed. are a total wash every week.
Another sad note is that I can't seem to make it to church. I am so tired when I come home that I change clothes and go straight to bed. There is no eating, no TV watching, no nothing. I'm just tired!!!!
It has been very hard for me and really had my mind going. Wondering if I am making the right career choice or what I should do with my life. Some days I am pretty sure that the good Lord just brought me to this job to show me that I have been choosing & pushing my path instead of following the path he holds for me. But then when I think about what I have been trying to go to school for I get excited and really want to pursue it. I guess the best question is....Do some people ever figure out what they want to be when they grow up???

Nothing like

finding motivation in the fact that you screwed up and got a screwy job to make you start really sewing like crazy for some money!!!

Polka Dot Pixie

Soccer Mom!

So who would have thought that soccer would be so much fun to watch?? This is the first competitive sport that Rylee has done and I have to tell you...it is wonderful!!! I love watching her get out there and get in the mix. The parents get so in to it too but on a very nice level so far. Anyone who knows Rylee knows that playing soccer is a big deal for her. She is usually terrified of a ball, hates to run and is not a fan of getting real hot but I have to say that my girl made me so proud at her very first soccer game last night. She never stopped running, didn't complain about being hot and wasn't afraid to get right in the middle of all the action. Paul and I loved every minute of it but the best part was that so did she!

I had to add this last picture for humor purposes. I'm not sure which was more entertaining, the soccer game or this man:) He was jumping up and down, screaming at the top of his lungs and would fall to the ground in despair. He wasn't even the coach of the other team but he sure acted like it. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't being ugly at all just very funny! He stood on the other side of the field away from all the other parents...I'm pretty sure that his wife likes it that way!

I can't wait for Rylee's next soccer game!

Sleeping Beauty...

I did my first night shift this past weekend. Not only was it my first ever night shift but my very first ever 12 hour shift. I thought I would die. Everyone keeps saying I just have to get use to it but I think they are just trying to be positive. I'm not sure that a body will ever get use to staying up all night. I didn't get much of a nap on the day that I went in to work. Then on the morning after work I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I begged and pleaded with Tegan to take a nap but he was having no part of it. But today this is what he is doing... I felt a little like a mental patient while at work. We are in a room closet with no windows or ventilation of any kind. When you walk in the hall you are surrounded by 4 different nurses stations for the ICU that have to turn off their lights at 10pm, then the patient rooms, then there is a hallway and then finally there are windows. So as you can imagine...I don't really ever get to see outside to see that it is dark. When referring to coming in to work I kept saying "this morning" when really it was "last night". At around 3 or 4 in the morning I thought I was going to throw up. My body had no idea what I was doing to it. But I pulled through and survived. There are so many negatives to weekend night shift but there are so many positives. One of those positives being that once I walk out those doors on Monday morning, I don't return until Saturday evening almost a week later. I'm just trying to focus on that!!!

Lately...

Whew...it has been a whirlwind last few weeks but I am so happy to say that the full time day training is over!!!! I am no morning person and having to get up, get ready, drive, find a parking place in the parking deck, then walk 10 minutes from there to my job and clock in by 6:30 AM was no small feat for me. I was pretty sure it was going to kill me...I exaggerate a little:) Anyways I am going from hitting the hay early to prepare for the next day to trying to hold my eyes open as long as I can at night to prepare for the next day!!! I work my first night shift tomorrow night (Sunday night) and I am a little terrified. Yes I am a night person but people keep telling me that staying up all night at work is going to be totally different plus I am pretty sure I have already forgotten everything I have learned the last couple of weeks. I am trying to keep a positive outlook and say that I will be a trooper but frankly I am just ready to get the first shift over with and get a feel for the night shift thing. This past Friday we took Tegan to have a second opinion on whether we should put him through a pretty major eye surgery. His normal Dr. is at Emory and we got our second opinion from Medical College of Georgia. The Dr. was very nice and 100% agreed with Teg's regular Dr. and even told us that his Dr. at Emory was one of the best at this surgery and he never even offered to do the surgery himself which was fine by me b/c MCG is a really long ways away from our house. Plus I had already been praying a lot about the Emory Dr. and was starting to feel the comfort letting me know that he would be in great hands. They say this won't cure his eyes but I believe it can and I believe that if that is the plan that the Lord has for him then a miracle can happen. To have so much faith I have had so much fear about doing this surgery. I guess b/c it is really up to Paul and I so if something goes wrong we will blame ourselves. But I think at this point the decision has been made to move forward with the surgery but I'm still reluctant to contact the Dr. about it:) The kids have been doing great and I believe they both adjusted better to me being at work everyday than I did. But now we get some of our regular weekday routine back. I am going to miss my family on the weekends but night shift is definitely not chump change and lets just say that my first paycheck yesterday has inspired me to push through. I have been getting things together and applying for the health care programs I have been working so hard to get in to. I have one top pick and one back up pick. I'm ready to figure that part of my life out and move forward with it. Well my mind just went blank so I think I will just stop here and end this totally random post!