Random stuff!

Things seem to be moving right along.  Tegan went back to school this week.  His eyes are still a little pink but that is something they told us to expect for a very very long time.  It is still really hard to tell about the success of the surgery especially when it comes to him seeing far away but I can tell you that it is looking like it solved the problem of the head tilt which was the most noticeable feature of his eye condition.  It will be totally awesome if it stays like this and doesn't set him up for being picked on by other kids as he gets a little older.

The picture on the left was about 5 days after surgery and the one on the right was last night.  Huge improvement in the color. 

 

I continue to place him in God's hands and believe that everything is healing just like it should be and that he will be just fine!

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought me several healthy choices instead of my normal ice cream and chips for snacks.  I heart pinterest so much and have been pinning all types of recipes on there.  I had saw this a while ago and wanted to give it a try.  Of course mine didn't look nearly as beautiful as the one posted by KevinandAmanda that I pinned (you can click her picture below to go to see how she did it).

The one on the left is the one I pinned and the one on the right is mine:)

Source: kevinandamanda.com via Tabatha on Pinterest

Of course I had to modify it for my taste.  I used the same granola that she used b/c it was on sale and was the cheapest:)  Of course I used strawberries but let me be clear...they were the most sour strawberries I have ever had.  So I ate as many as I could stand and then started eating around them.  She uses regular yogurt.  I am just not a regular yogurt person.  I have tried to like it but just can't.  So I used about a 1/2 of a cup of Mayfield's frozen vanilla yogurt and poured a small amount of 2% milk over it to make it softer. I poured it all in my cup and it was great!!!  Had my strawberries tasted better it would have been perfect!  I am not a granola person but granola on frozen yogurt is AWESOME!

Life is moving along as usual although I am very tired all the time.  Not your average body tired but my eyes have seemed so heavy lately.  I am pretty sure that I have went off to sleep at least 3 times in the past two days while driving down the road.  Maybe I have developed a bit of narcolepsy....whatever it is, I hope it passes soon.

Happy Wed. everyone...let us hope that the rest of the week is smooth and fast:)

What Should Have Been

I have a best friend named Larkin.  We became great friends during her senior year and my junior year of high school.  After she graduated we lost touch for a while but then I married a guy that went to the same church as her and her husband.  For years we have talked or sent rather lengthy emails to each other on a daily basis.  It is very rare for us to not talk to each other except when each of us are on vacation and even then we sneak in a phone call or two:)  So it would only be right to say that her joy is my joy and her pain is my pain. 

This past Monday my best friend was suppose to deliver her healthy baby boy.  Plans had been made and the c-section had been on the books for months.  Today, Friday, she would have been coming home with that healthy baby boy.  Tonight she was suppose to have a sleepless night while she was up and down breastfeeding her little man but instead she will have a totally different kind of sleepless night. 

What should have been....isn't!  This past Monday instead of celebrating new life she is in the throws of grieving one month since she was delivered a devastating blow.  It was the kind of blow that sucks the life right out of you and changes you FOREVER!  At 35 1/2 weeks pregnant she was told that her baby had passed away.  Two days earlier I had wrote this post about how I had felt like something was going to go wrong.  Since this happened to her I haven't had this feeling again.  I felt it coming before I knew it was there. 

That day she called me from a room in her Dr.'s office.  I still get chills when I think of her crying so hard that I was unsure that she had just told me that "He was gone".  I was shocked, sad, devastated and taken right back to what that feels like.  It is a feeling you can never forget!  That awful moment when they tell you that the life inside of you isn't perfectly healthy like it should have been!  That moment everything changes for the rest of your life!

The next day I was at the hospital with a pit in my stomach.  I felt every single thing she went through that day.  I felt like I was losing one of my own family members plus it took me right back to the day almost 5 years earlier when I had experienced my own loss.  I was so blessed that she allowed me to see her son after he was born.  There is only one way to describe him and that is absolutely PERFECT!  He was so perfect.  I cried for her.  I cried for him.  I cried for me.  I will forever be thankful to her for letting me be a part of that moment and for allowing him to be a part of my life.  I will never forget his face.

I watched as she held her little boy, Landon.   I watched her in an out of body kind of way when she was taking her finger and following his face over and over and over again.  I could feel it b/c I did the same thing.  I think as moms it is a natural instinct to memorize our precious angels during that brief time that we can.  I watched them bring her the very same things that were given to me after my own experience.  I couldn't believe this was happening. 

All those years ago when God brought Larkin in to my life he already knew that this day would come.  As I have talked to her for hours and walked this walk with her, I have ached for my own son and for her son.  While I have hurt, I have also felt some peace.  I pray nightly that Larkin will find her peace in a much shorter amount of time than I found mine.  Finding peace doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt but on that day my peace came in the form of  "if this happened to me so that I could be there for her, I'm OK with that".  For five years I have walked a very lonely road.  Yes my husband has been there and others have been there (including Larkin) but for the first time in five years when I talk about a feeling that I remember having or may still have, someone knows exactly what I am talking about.  Before she can complete a thought about how she feels, I can finish that thought for her b/c I know.  I desperately wish that I was still walking my lonely road.  I had gotten use to being there and was fine with it but now I have company.  

Even though she has me, I'm not all she needs.  She needs you to mention her son.  She will probably cry when she talks about it but just remember that you didn't make her cry, the death of her son is doing that to her.  She needs you to not be afraid of her.  Yes she is fragile but she is already broken.  I promise you that you can't break her anymore than she already is.  She needs you to know that all because she looks OK doesn't mean she is.  All because she laughs doesn't mean she isn't feeling the pain.  All because life goes on for you doesn't mean it will ever fully go on for her ever again.  She needs you to know that this is a process and she may be angry or she may be short with you but just remember that grief beats a person up from the inside out.  Most importantly she needs you to love her, pray for her and remember that Landon was real.  He was so real and so perfect in every way. 

I wrote the above for anyone who knows someone that is going through this or has experienced something like this.  My heart has never healed from losing my own son.  It doesn't matter how far out I get from my own experience and my own raw emotions, something can take me right back to that moment in a heartbeat.  This has definitely done that to me but that's OK.  I'm OK!  Everyday she will get up and beg for God's mercy while she grieves.  Then one day she will wake up and praise God for giving her that mercy.  I don't think you ever get over something like this but you do get use to it and learn how to cope with it.  I am so very blessed to be this person in Larkin's life and I plan to carry her for as far as she lets me or needs me to because I know that getting over what should have been is virtually impossible!   

One week later...

I am happy to report that Tegan is recovering awesomely (is that a word) from his surgery.  It has been one week and I am so glad to see him improving everyday.  He has spent the last 7 days resting & laying around a lot but his spunk is starting to return. 

I can tell a difference in his head tilt already but it is still very hard to tell if we got the results we wanted from the surgery.  I guess we can't rush it b/c she did say that it can take six months to a year to fully recover from this surgery.  The plus is that he isn't tilting his head to the left at all anymore.  He use to have a pretty major left side head tilt to see well.  The negative to this is that it seems to me that his vision isn't as good as it was before the surgery.  Now I don't want to jump the gun on that b/c it can take up to 3 weeks for the brain to adjust and relearn what it should see from the new position but I'm just a little worried about it.  He just isn't seeing very well when things are far off or directly on the ground in front of him.  I have also noticed him tilting his head to the right a little which is totally not what we want and will defeat the whole purpose of the surgery.  Well actually, we don't want the head tilt or the vision loss! 

I'm just trying to stop testing him daily and just give it some time but it is very hard to do.  It isn't everyday your kid has his eyeballs turned to a different direction!!! 

He is eating, drinking and playing again.  His eyes are wide open.  They are still very red but nothing compared to what they were.  In fact they have improved a lot over the last 24 hours.  The only real trouble we seem to be having is in the mornings when he wakes up his eyes are somewhat stuck to together and it takes him a while to get them open.  Plus he is sensitive to light in the mornings but after about an hour of adjusting and getting his eyes open...he is good to go! 

Here is what his eyes looked like last Friday....

And this is what it looked like yesterday....

Sorry for the bad quality, he wouldn't let me use the flash. 

I took him yesterday to his school to see his class.  I did it to somewhat ease the blow for him just in case his eyes don't improve.  As kids do, most of his class was shocked to see his red eyes but it didn't seem to bother him.  However it did bother him when we were leaving and ran in to my nephews kindergarten class.  My nephew asked what happened to his eyes and that prompted the entire class of strange kids to turn around and start making comments about his eyes which it totally normal I know.  He got really shy, asked me to hold him, and buried his head in my shoulder.  He kept asking why everyone was looking at his eyes.  My prayer is that they clear up a whole lot over the next 4 or 5 days before he goes back to school.  His pre-k teacher is really awesome and has showed lots of concern for him.  She has also been great about preparing the class for Teg's red eyes and talking to them about him.  I really do love that she seems to already care a lot for Tegan.

Hopefully by next week things will get back in to their regular routine around here.  I don't know about you but I thrive on routine....even if I hate it!!!

My Short Lived Texting Phase....

In my defense I have really had a lot going on this past month.  I started a new job, I have a friend who really needs me, Teg's surgery, etc... 

I'm not usually much of a texter.  One huge reason is b/c this summer I dropped my cell phone in the lake and the only damage to it was that the V and M on the keypad doesn't work anymore.  Do you know how many times you use the letter M...A LOT!!!  Anyways, this past month I guess I have stepped up my texting game b/c I more than doubled my limit.  Oops!  I would swear to you that I remember having a total conversation with my husband about how I had unlimited texting.  He denies such conversation and therefore the jury has found me guilty.  There goes the beginning of my Christmas fund:(  The sad thing is that there are still 8 more days in this billing cycle!!! 

Needless to say, for the next 8 days I am totally grounded from texting and I may just boycott it after that!  I feel like a total teenager.  Such an epic fail at being a texter!  I think I will just go back to that old fashion thing called talking!!! 

Day Three Post Surgery...Turning the Corner

One of the greatest blessings in life is that every day is a new day and a new opportunity for any situation to get better.  Today is our day...I hope! 

I really feel like that the worst is behind us.  All of the prayers have been felt and I am just overwhelmed by everyone who has lifted my boy up in prayer.

After the rough day we had yesterday, we were praying for a great day with lots of improvement.  I mean, I want Tegan to learn how to sit still for at least short periods of time but this isn't the way I wanted it to happen.  In the last few days we have only saw lots of this

Today he is somewhat back to his old self.  He is eating (albeit still very picky), drinking, playing, talking and most importantly he has his eyes open!!!!  He wanted to look at his eyes so I let him but bless his heart he didn't like what he saw.  His eyes are very very red and look very very painful.  The plus is that he doesn't seem to be in any pain today.  He does keep saying that his eyes itch really bad way back on the inside but with eyes that look like his, that isn't so bad.  The itching is most likely coming from all the stitches that are placed in the muscles around his eyes.   We are totally expecting the red to linger for a very long time.  His eyes will probably have a pink tint to them for up to 6 months but at least he can see!!!! 

He insisted that I take a picture of his eyes and show them to him on the computer b/c he says it hurts less to look at them on the computer than in the mirror:)  He is very proud of himself for having his eyes open and so are his parents.  We still can't tell yet if the surgery did what it was suppose to do b/c he keeps tilting his head back and looking down the front of his nose...which is totally not what we want and is way worse than what he did before.  But I think he is only doing that b/c his eyelids are still a little puffy on the inside b/c sometimes I notice he isn't tilting it back.  I still see the eye movement, which is the Nystagmus, but I don't know if you would notice it if you weren't looking for it.  I am looking for it so that is why it stands out to me.  So far, Paul and I haven't seen him tilt his head to the side at all to see.  We were told to expect for his eyes to be pointing totally to the left for the first week until his brain readjust and he pulls them to the right.  They aren't pointing to the left but straight forward.  Of course that is what we want but we don't want them to pull anymore to the right so I am praying that his brain is just ahead of the game and has already done what it is suppose to! 

I am praising God today for the healing and find it to be such a miracle what he can do in just a 10 to 12 hour time span. Red or not...I am so very happy to see his beautiful eyes. 

Day Two Post Surgery

Good grief what a day!  I learned a long time ago that when it comes to my kids (in my belly or not), I should always listen to my gut.  A mother always knows.  I am so very thankful for a Dr. (Dr. Glassman) who listened to me even though I'm not really sure he wasn't convinced that I was just being paranoid. 

Tegan had a very restless nights sleep last night.  I'm sure it doesn't help that him and I are practically sleeping on top of each other in a twin size bed.  This morning he woke up early like always.  I moved him to the couch to "listen" to the TV since he didn't want to open his eyes.  I can't tell you what particular thing triggered my motherly instinct but I just had this funny feeling something wasn't right with him.  From 7 to 9 AM, he was laying on the couch and I sat in the floor right next to him.  I didn't even fix myself breakfast.  I just felt off.  Sometime around 9 I noticed that he was feeling very warm.  I took his temp, he had a fever and I gave him some Tylenol.  I walked away for just a second and he started to vomit.  Not a little vomit but a really big huge vomit that was a little to huge for a kid that had not ate a single thing in 48 hours and was barely drinking.  His shirt was so covered that I couldn't get it over his head without it hitting his eyes so I just gave up, grabbed some scissors and said goodbye to his night shirt.  I cleaned him up, cleaned up my couch, ruined my carpet by cleaning it with something that left a big old bleach spot and then just sat right back down beside him while trying to call the eye Dr.  Of course with a place like Emory, you don't get a real person.  I debated and debated on what to do b/c at this point he was talking a little more and acting better.  Through all this he had yet to open his eyes at all the whole morning and my gut feeling was still lingering.   

Thirty minutes later I quit debating and got him an appointment at the pediatricians office.  His eye Dr./surgeon is over two hours away so I thought it would be best to start local.  Let me just say I love love love my Dr.  He has always trusted my instincts with my kids and today was no different although I almost didn't voice my concern for fear of looking stupid.  Tegan checked out fine physically and didn't look dehydrated at all.  He was thinking this all may be normal for the surgery he has been through.  But then I told him I had a gut feeling and I knew something wasn't right.  That was all he needed to hear.  He got on the phone with the surgeon and came up with a plan to make sure all of our bases were covered. 

He sent us straight to the hospital just to get a blood culture and to get antibiotics by IV just in case this was the start of an eye infection.  In the ten minutes it took me to drive there, park and walk up to the 3rd floor carrying my 41 pound kid, he got way worse.  He was pale, limp and not talking at all.  He looked awful and was impossible to wake up.  The nurses took one look at him and knew he needed some fluids right then.  They didn't even get to let the numbing cream work on his hand before they just had to place the IV.  One bag of fluids and one huge dose of antibiotics by IV later and he was like a new kid.  He was even opening his eyes for the first time...both eyes at the same time!  By opening I don't mean really opening but yet just barely a crack.  You can't even really tell the difference in blood, redness or eye through the tiny crack but atleast he was trying to open them.  There is a huge bulging blood clot on the inside corner of his right eye. 

BUT praise the Lord he can see out of both eyes.  Maybe not all that great through that little crack and all the blood but at least he has vision!!!  I was so thankful to bring my little man home with him talking and wanting to set up...unlike the whole rest of the day. 

I thought today would be a very progressive day but it seemed he took two steps back.  I just pray that tomorrow is the day we need it to be and he shows a significant amount of healing.  I'm anxious to see if all this is worth the end result! If you seen his eyes...you would definitely doubt yourself as a mother.  If it were me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. It looks painful and I am feeling very guilty for letting them do this to him!!!  Pray that his Mama doesn't going crazy while you pray for his very quick healing!!!!

SURGERY DAY is OVER!!!!

Sorry for the delay in updating.  Yesterday was a very long day and we were all sound asleep the first chance we had.

First I just have to say that Tegan is a trooper!!!  We went up the night before and stayed in a hotel so that we didn't have to drive a real long distance the next morning.  We were walking in to the Children's Hospital at 6:30 AM.  This was the most efficient hospital I have ever been in (and I work at a hospital so that is saying a lot)! 
Tegan was really brave and very sweet to all the staff that came in to do various things to him in preparation for his surgery.  He did start to get really thirsty and just decide he wanted to go home at around 9:00 AM but they came in at around 9:30 AM and gave him some "Joy Juice" (like a Valium for kids) and he was good to go.  He didn't even cry when they took him from me.  They put him to sleep with a mask and then put in the IV so I was thankful for that.  Surgery started at around 10 AM and they called to say they were finishing up at a few minutes after 12 PM.  He was in recovery for a little while after that and then they finally brought him to us.  I was devastated when they wheeled him in and by the look on Paul's face, I thought he was going to throw up at any minute.  As soon as Teg heard my voice he started to cry.  Not a hard cry but this little painful and heartbreaking cry.  He just kept saying "they stuck two things in my eyes" and "please get this stuff out of my eyes with a paper towel".  He was begging for Paul and I to help but we felt very helpless. 
But like tough little boys do, he started to bounce back.  Now he is by no means OK but his attitude is GREAT!  He has been talking a lot and playing with whatever toys we put within arms reach. 
His eyes have been bleeding since the surgery but that should slow down soon.  I have to constantly clean his eyes and he doesn't like it.  He has just started to barely open one eye.  So for over 24 hours he has just laid there with his eyes closed and refuses to open them.  The eye he is opening looks HORRIBLE.  There is a huge blood clot just sitting in the inside corner of that eye.  Everything is so bloody that I can't really tell which way the eyeball is actually pointing.  He isn't really opening it up enough for me to see it but at least I know he does have vision in that eye which eases one of our fears of the risk of him losing his vision.  He still refuses to open the other eye at all so hopefully that will change very soon.  He isn't really eating anything but he is drinking juice, sprite and "Banilla" milkshakes.  I slept with him last night and he did pretty good except a few times when he would wake suddenly and couldn't get his eyes open, he would start screaming for me not realizing that he was literally screaming in my ear.  Talk about a wake up call. 
He can not touch or rub his eyes at all.  I thought that was going to be hard to prevent but once we told him it would hurt if he touched them, he hasn't even tried.  We have to be very cautious for the next two weeks b/c infection is the biggest risk of this surgery.  The actual surgery was detaching his eyeball from all four muscles and placing those muscle back to his eyeball in a different place.  He has lots of stitches on the sides and backs of his eyeball....so we can't see the stitches but they say he can feel them.  They say that it feels like having sand in your eyes so you can imagine how aggravating that is.  They also say that it feels very tight to him.
Although the surgery went well there is no way to tell if it was a success or not at this point.  We are praying hard that it is b/c I just don't think I can do this to him again.  It is awful.  The point is that he would have to turn his eyes to the right to make them be still so he could see before he had the surgery.  Well this surgery took his eyeballs and turned them to the left.  So when he does open up his eyes, they aren't going to point in the right direction right away but within a few days he will start trying to pull them to the right (like he always has) to be able to see and that is suppose to bring them to the front .  It is scary b/c there is nothing really for her to go by to know where she should place the muscles back.  She just has to do it and pray that they will be right once his brain readjust.  So the next few days he will hopefully start opening his eyes, they will straighten up and his brain will adjust to the new point.  A LOT of scary stuff!!!!  He will be able to function again soon but his eyes will heal from this for 6 to 12 MONTHS!!!  So if she didn't get it right this time and he has to have it done again, it will probably be a year before she can do it again...I'm still unclear on that.  I am worried that what if it works in one eye but not the other and his eyes look really off from each other....which is possible.  There are lots of what ifs with this surgery and we definitely have fear that we will end up feeling like we made the wrong choice.  But we feel like we had to put this in God's hands and do everything we could for our little man.
There are lots of prayers still needed....speedy recovery, for him to open his eyes, the bleeding to stop, no fever, no infection, that his eyes will do what they should at this point, and that he will one day forgive us for this horrible pain and surgery we have put him through! 
Thank you all so much for thinking of us and praying for us.  I know that I could feel the prayers and peace all day yesterday b/c I am normally very anxious but I never got that way at all yesterday.  Please continue to pray for Tegan and lift him up....this surgery is no cake walk!!!

Surgery Day is HERE!!!

Tomorrow we will take our baby boy to the hospital for his first (and hopefully last) eye surgery!  It would be a total understatement to say that I am very very anxious about this.  He will be having it done at the Children's Hospital and should get to come home tomorrow night if all goes well with surgery and being put to sleep. 
He will be under anesthesia for around 2 to 3 hours...that makes me nervous too!  They will completely detach his eyeballs and shift them to a new focus point.  Gross....yes but it is the only way to explain it.  It is a pretty big deal and it hasn't helped me to watch my husband get really nervous about it.  Stuff to him is usually no big deal but this is our baby's eyes we are messing with.
We have researched his Dr. high and low and even gotten a second opinion.  We are at the point where we feel really confident with her and her recommendation for this surgery.  I think I am mostly scared b/c I don't want to watch him be scared.  That and the fact that there is nothing out there (not even in google land) that tells us what to expect post-op b/c it effects everyone differently.  One woman said her son wouldn't even open his eyes at all for FIVE days after the surgery.  The whites of his eyes are expected to be red/pink for several months and we should expect to see some blood pockets form below his eye.  Other than those things...there is no way to predict this surgery.  We have no way of knowing if this surgery will actually help him or even hurt him but we are putting all our faith in the Lord on this one.  I am placing my baby boy in his hands and already praising him for a smooth surgery, quick recovery and a cure for this incurable eye condition!!!!   
Tegan has no idea what is going to happen and I just can't bring myself to tell him.  He thinks we are "Going to pick up his eye surgery". 
We have to be at the hospital at 7:00 AM in the morning and surgery will be around 9:00 or 10:00.  It will be hard to not let him drink anything b/c anyone who knows Tegan knows that he is serious about his orange juice and milk. 
Please say a prayer for my little man tonight and tomorrow (and for his super nervous parents too).  Let's all lift him up!!!!

Grieving a baby...

  This is just the first post of what will be many as I lead up to Cohen's birthday this year.  I have yet to experience some deaths such as losing a parent or sibling (I hope it is a long time before I do) but I know what it is like to lose a grandparent, father-in-law, aunt and cousin. Although those deaths were all hard to deal with, so far nothing has compared to burying my baby. As I am walking through some things the past three weeks I have realized that not many people understand nor do they ever hope to understand what it is like to bury a baby. So tonight I want to give you a glimpse. Just a tiny taste of the immediate reality of a mother of an angel. 
Imagine your heart being taken straight from your chest and put in the ground. The wind is knocked out of you over and over again as you beg for mercy to make it stop. The emptiness is unreal. There is a void there that you fear will forever be part of you. You ache...physically ache to the core. Your arms hurt and long to cling to an infant. You are given a blessing and a curse in this baby daily. You crave him/her. Just one more look at their precious face might get you through but there is no possibility of that. If you are lucky enough to get pictures, those are all you will ever have and they become your greatest treasure. Every single day hurts...even 5 years later. Time keeps going while you stand stuck in quick sand that is so unforgiving. You may think you are having a good day but then something can take you right back to it in a very raw way. Keeping up everyday only happens if you have to. Going out in public takes courage that you have lost. You fear that if someone catches you laughing they may think you are ok. You are not ok.
What most people don't know is that while you are planning the burial of your baby, Mother Nature doesn't cut you any slack. The sight of blood is just a reminder. Your body produces milk as if it is preparing to feed a healthy and alive baby. You have to let your body heal when all you want to do is find a way to make time fly. You can't sleep. Eating isn't at the top of your desire list. Hormones....oh the hormones. Possibly the cruelest of all is that feeling in your stomach...it happens most when you lay down at night. You could swear you just felt your baby move. There it is again and for just a minute you let yourself believe that your baby is still safely tucked away in your belly. This feeling can last several months as things in your body try to go back to normal.
You are peaceful. You are sad. You are angry. The angry stage last a long time. I don't mean that you are just angry at the situation but you become angry that time goes on for everyone else and they are back to life as usual within days while you are left behind broken. You are angry that people don't mention your baby as if he never lived. You are angry that people think you are just ok. The anger last a really long time. Then you go in to survival mode. Then you begin to work backwards through the grief. More anger. More sadness. And at some point you find your peace. Does finding peace mean you aren't sad....no!

Hard to read....I pray you never ever have to live it!!!  Once you feel it, it doesn't take much to take you back to it.  You can never make someone understand these feelings, like really feel them, unless they have lost their own baby.  You are forever incomplete!!!

Wait...What month is it??

Is it just me or is this year FLYING by??  I can't believe we are already in to September but oh so thankful that I have almost survived yet another horribly hot and rain free summer.  I LOVE fall and can't wait to see the leaves changing and feel that cool air.  Of course in Georgia, fall only last for 3 days before it is winter time:)

Life is moving along at such a busy pace.  Things are keeping me so busy that there isn't even much time for facebook....probably just what I needed to break the addiction!  The job has been busy.  I love it but have to admit that I am not as young as I use to be.  All this running up and down the halls of the hospital and working all day without sitting down at all, might just be taking its toll on me b/c tonight my legs, feet, back and even my ribs are hurting.  Crazy I know.  I'm sure once I get a little more use to things that I will be OK. 

Tegan is begging me every night with his sweet little voice to "Pwease not make me go to Cool!".  Unfortunately he must go while I work.  We are preparing for his eye surgery in less than two weeks.  Well not in the actual sense but in the prayer sense!  I am scared and not ashamed to admit it. 

Rylee is doing great and has started gymnastics.  She loves it which makes my heart very happy! 

Boring post I know but there have been lots of other things going on that I just can't wrap my tired little head around tonight.  Things that I may or may not ever be able to put in to words or to even blog about.  Right now I am just thankful for my little family, my job, my house and my little world within these walls!