Happy Monday

Or not:) I'm trying this whole positive thing again. So Rylee was sick with a cold/fever last week and of course guess who the lucky person is that caught it from her....that would be me. I'm feeling a little yucky today with sinus pressure, a strange cough, runny nose and the feeling like my eyes want to close really really bad but I am trying so hard not to let that happen. It took me more than 30 minutes to wake up enough and gain enough composure to get out of bed this morning so I don't want to have to start all over again if I take a nap!!!

The weekend in Georgia was so beautiful and has done nothing but give everyone spring fever. Today we woke up to a rainy day but at least it isn't that cold today (that would be the silver lining).

School hasn't been as easy as I thought and I am having to drop one of my classes partly b/c I can't figure out what the heck is going on in there and partly b/c I just need to be able to pick Tegan up from preschool and not have to ask someone else to do it that one day a week. But no fear my friends, I still have 2 classes that are online and if you think that is easy you have never had to teach yourself all about Greek God's, Egypt, Christianity, etc.

Looks like I am going to be a for real soccer mom. Our little lady has decided to finally play something sporty and has asked to play spring soccer. I'm excited about it now but we will talk again later after I have to drag her to all the practices and games b/c she will realize that you must run when playing soccer and you might sweat a little...the two things she hates to do the most!!

Tegan got a Woody doll at Wal-mart the other day. That will require a post all its own!

Hope you all had a great weekend and that you have a great week!

Nystagmus

Turns out that my little man's condition is not only about the eyes but also about the head tilt. For those of you that don't know my son, Tegan, has a condition of the eyes that he was born with called Nystagmus. I noticed it when he was around 2 months old. Nystagmus is a condition where his eyes move from side to side. He doesn't have the control over his eyes that most people do so it causes him to look like he is scanning the room. One plus about Nystagmus is that it can never get worse and sometimes it can get a little better with age. The bad thing about nystagmus is that it isn't going to go away and there is no cure for it.
Tegan has been one lucky little boy when dealing with Nystagmus. So far it doesn't really affect his vision which is usually the case. He has great depth perception which is also a big issue for Nystagmus patients. His eyes have slowed down a lot as he has gotten older and there are times that you can't even tell that he has an issue. But then there is the head tilt. To see things in the distance or that are not right in front of his face he has to tilt his head to the left, look out the corners of his eyes to the right and up a little. This is called his Null point...the point where he can control his eyes, stop them from moving and see.
Yesterday we took him for his eye appointment at Emory Healthcare. The Dr. has presented us with two surgeries that may help Tegan and help his issues with the head tilt. Although the surgery has nothing to do with helping him to control his eyes it will end up helping him with that. The first surgery is OUT OF THE QUESTION in my mind. The second is something called the Kestenbaum Surgery. They will literally go in to his eye sockets and turn his eyeballs. They will turn them to the point where his null point will then be looking straight forward instead of him having to tilt his head. If they can do this then it may also help with the movement but that isn't promised. It is a pretty big deal to have this surgery b/c it can be so great or it can not help at all or it can go really wrong.
Here is our dilemma...Tegan is this perfect happy little boy right now. He is healthy and has no issues . It is hard to put your kid through a surgery when they seem so OK right now. But then there is the head tilt. I fear the meanness of kids as he gets older. I don't want him picked on for having that tilt. But even more so I don't want him to start to develop neck and/or back problems due to the tilt. It is such a hard decision to make. The Dr. is very nice but she isn't a very confident Dr. and that is something that I look for in a Dr. that will be cutting in to my sons eye sockets!!! My husband isn't thrilled about the idea of surgery and he doesn't see any reason to consider it right now but I feel differently. I feel like it should be done before he starts big kid school and before other kids really start to point it out. I wish I knew what the best answer was and mostly wish I could find just one person who has had this done and what they think about it now! I hate making decisions like this!

the SAT

It was been 12 or 13 years since I last took the SAT test. The program that I am applying to requires that it be taken within the last 5 years. So this past Saturday morning I was up early and at my testing center at 7:30 ready for the big test. Well...maybe ready is an exaggeration but at least I was there:) The testing center for this round of SAT was at a local high school about 25 minutes from my house. At the technical college I go to there are so many older adults that have been going back to school that I think I am one of the younger ones in my classes. Well that would not be the case at the SAT's. I was literally surrounded by around 250 to 300 high school students. I was the oldest person there!!!! I promise there were some teachers that were younger than me. Now at 30 I know I am not old but man did I feel out of my element and felt like the kid that no one would talk to. It was horrible. I just kept thinking "don't make eye contact". I sat there listening to these teenagers talk and wanted to scream "don't be so stupid" but I just sat there with my head dropped down.
We had to write out a certification statement on the back of our test. It was one sentence and had to be wrote in cursive. No lie it took some of these kids 20 minutes to write that one sentence b/c they had no idea how to write in cursive. I was shocked.
After the test was over my sweet body reminded me just how old I am as I could barely move from sitting there for 4 1/2 hours. My knees didn't want to let me walk down the front steps of the school. I had teenagers blowing past me...perky and care free while running to their brand new cars that Mommy and Daddy bought them. When I finally got back to my car I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Ahhhhhh....it was over and I was back in my own bubble. I hope I never have to do that again.

The Baptism

Rylee has been asking questions lately about being baptized but she kept saying she thought she should wait a little longer. Well about 2 weeks ago she finally decided that she wanted to talk with our preacher about getting baptized. When he asked her why she wanted to be baptized she told him b/c "when Jesus was baptized, God was very proud of him and she wanted him to be very proud of her".

This past Sunday she made the walk to the front during the invitation and her decision was made. My little lady was ready to be baptized. She was so excited and we were so proud of her. She did amazing and looked like a little angel stepping in to the pool.

What a blessing it is to raise my kids in the church!!!

Ice Ice Baby

Goodness me will this ever end. We have been covered in snow and ice for FIVE days now. I know that doesn't sound like much to you northerners but for us southern folks this has been pure torture. It started late Sunday night with a whole bunch of snow and then over the last week all that snow has iced over and just doesn't seem to be in any kind of hurry to leave. We have been pretty much stuck in the house but at least this time around we have power so that has made it so much better. The kids and I finally got out today and went to the post office and grocery store so I am already feeling a little better but the roads still have a few slick spots and the snow/ice on the grassy areas is still thick and not melting.

I love my kids...I really do but all this together time after just having all that together time around Christmas is nearly killing me. They are bored and after the first day could care less about going out in the snow. They are fighting with each other like crazy. We all have short tempers right now. I haven't gotten a lick of school work done. Every time I clean the house it is destroyed in 15 minutes. I am just ready for us to go back to our routine and move on from the white stuff. Is that to much to ask??

8 Years Already....

My daughter turns 8 years old today! I still can't even believe that I am saying this somewhat because I can not believe that she is growing up so fast but also because I can not believe that I am growing up to fast:) I think back of 8 years ago how I had no idea what was about to hit me. The amount of love I could feel for this person was lost on me just hours before I saw her face. The anxiety and fears I developed of anything happening to this little girl overtook my mind and body. I had no idea what I was doing and still not sure I do today but when I look at her I know I must be doing something right.

This little girl is perfect in every way!

She is a helpful child who has a lot of heart. Though she loves her brother with all her heart let's be real here...he is still an aggravating little baby brother that is almost 5 years younger than her. But when they are loving each other you can not drive a wedge between them.
Wonderful in school. Ahead of the game in that area. The only kid in the state of Georgia to cry because school was closing for a snow day. Eager to learn. Very social and caring for everyone around her. Trying very hard lately to understand what life is about and showing some fears about the reality of how hard life can be. Fearful of death of the ones she loves. Cautious about everything!!!! Homebody. NEVER forgets anything especially promises made to her. Not a picky eater at all but will still not drink any type of carbonated beverage (not even sprite). Going through a growth spurt that will probably end with her being taller than me very soon!

A little bit bossy but a whole lot of spunk. A child who is so resilient and is not going to let anyone get in her way. In love with Justin Beiber and continues to defend him to the bitter end when her daddy swears he is a girl. TV lover! Has her own invisible students in her real life classroom she has set up complete with a teachers desk and a rather large dry erase board hanging on the wall. Very easy to be heartbroken but very quick to recover. All Girl! Loves all things sparkly and fancy. My favorite little girl of all times. Promises everyday to always be my best friend!

Talented! Precious! Perfect in every way!
Happy 8th Birthday to our little lady!

The Weather Man Was Right!!!!!

I would like to clear something up...we live in GEORGIA which is in the SOUTH!!! I think Mother Nature is a little confused b/c this is the second snow she has dumped on us since Christmas. Depending on where you are measuring it is anywhere from 5 to 8 inches of snow!!!! UNREAL! So far it isn't bad b/c we still have power but since everything is starting to ice over I am preparing for the worst. We went out to play and then loaded up in the 4x4 truck for a little drive. I took some great pictures within a 1 mile radius of my house so this is probably going to be picture overload.

25 Ways to Win With People

I do our churche's newsletter every month. It is something that I took over about a year ago. The best thing about doing the newsletter is getting to see everything that is going in it ahead of time. Our preacher is doing a "Winning With People" sermon series and he sent me something a little special to put in the newsletter. I plan to start today and for the next 25 days I will do one of these a day as a Bible study. I don't really read the Bible or do Bible studies but I hope maybe this will put me in the mood and create a new habit for me. I love to read things that relate to my life and the season that I am in. Right now...I feel like I just can't win with some people. So hopefully this will help me to handle myself better or to handle them better. Here is the "25 Ways to Win With People" study that I will be doing:

25 Ways to Win With People

How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks

By John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott III
1. Start With Yourself – King Solomon (I Kings 3:5-14)

2. Practice the 30 Second Rule – Jesus and Simon Peter (John 1:42)

3. Let People Know You Need Them – Paul (II Tim. 4:11) / Galatians 4:13-15)

4. Create a Memory and Visit It Often – Joshua (Joshua 4:1-7)

5. Compliment People In Front of People – John the Baptist (John 1:29-31)

6. Give Others a Reputation to Uphold – Jesus and Nathaniel (John 1:45-48)

7. Say the Right Words at Right Time – Mordecai to Esther (Esther 4:13-14)

8. Encourage the Dream of Others – Naomi and Ruth (Ruth 3:1-6)

9. Pass the Credit Onto Others – David and his men (I Samuel 30:21-31)

10. Offer Your Very Best – Epaphroditus (Philippians 2:25-30)

11. Share a Secret With Someone – Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-45)

12. Mine the Gold of Good Intentions – Abigail and David (I Sam. 25:23-35)

13. Keep Your Eyes Off the Mirror – Joseph & Brothers (Genesis 50:18-20)

14. Do for Others What They Can’t Do for Themselves – Joseph (Genesis 41)

15. Listen With Your Heart – Barnabas & John Mark (Acts 15:36-41)

16. Find the Keys to Their Heart – Nehemiah & Builders (Nehemiah 2:17-18)

17. Be the First to Help – Barnabas & Saul (Acts 9:26-27)

18. Add Value to People – Rebekah & Abraham (Genesis 24:10-27)

19. Remember a Person’s Story – David, Jonathan, Mephibosheth (I Sam. 9:1-13)

20. Tell a Good Story – Paul (Acts 26:1-29)

21. Give With No Strings Attached – Jonathan (I Samuel 18:1-4)

22. Learn Your Mailman’s Name – Paul (Romans 16:3-15)

23. Point Out People’s Strengths – Peter and Paul (II Peter 3:14-16)

24. Write Notes of Encouragement – Paul and his Epistles (Philippians, II Tim.)

25. Help People Win – Deborah and Barak (Judges 4:4-5)

My Take on Birthday Parties

I'm going to be real on this and not sugar coat it....I dislike Birthday Parties! I hate giving them, worrying about them, going to them, the whole deal!! When giving them they are full of nothing but stress and emptying out my pockets. In fact since Rylee's birthday is right after Christmas, every year for almost 8 years I have used every dime of my very own Christmas money to throw her a birthday party.

Let's face the facts: When giving them they are expensive and stressful. When going to them they are always right dead in the middle of the afternoon. That is exactly why we will be throwing Rylee the biggest birthday party she has every had:) Seriously...she wanted school friends and family so we have set up to have it somewhere other than my house (thankgoodness). The only good thing about this is that we are doing it in the morning and it will make her very happy.

On my side of the family alone there are 12 grandkids with one on the way (including my two) and on Paul's side there are 3 grandkids (including mine). So if we only get invited to birthday parties for the nieces and nephews and throw our own parties for our kids that means we automatically attend 13 birthday parties a year. Throw in the birthday parties that both kids get invited to and you have every other weekend booked up with birthday parties. Of the family birthdays there are 3 in Jan., 1 in Feb, 1 in April, 2 in May, 1 in June, 1 in July, 3 in August and 1 in November. I have been working on my sisters, brothers and sister-in-laws for forever to maybe cut out all the birthday parties b/c it has become impossible. So far only one has agreed but only for her older kids (she has six) and yet she is still having what we call an un-birthday party:) I can't resist but to tell you what an un-birthday party is. It is a birthday party where she says "We will be at Chuck-E-Cheese at 10 am on Saturday morning, if you would like to come them fine if not then..." . That sentence should be finished with "I will be mad at you and not come to your kids party" but instead that part is left up in the air. So anyways you get to go to an un-birthday party where you still bring a present and pay your own way!!! Love it! No seriously I love it b/c since it is an un-birthday party you are not technically obligated to go (although I am ) and when she gets mad at you for not going you can say "but you said it didn't matter".

I don't say all this so that my kids never get invited to another birthday party again. I'm just venting out the stresses of being in the throws of planning a sweet sixteen birthday party for my soon to be eight year old. Surely I am not the only mother that feels this way. There has to be a better way to celebrate and enjoy your own kids birthdays. A way that makes it special for them but doesn't break the bank for a very unfulfilled day of running around like a chicken with your head cut off.

We have talked to Rylee and told her this is the last big birthday party we plan to have for her. This time next year she will be turning nine and she doesn't need the whole big happenings of a birthday party. Instead the plan from that birthday forward will be that she can either pick somewhere to go and we will take her to do whatever she wants...kind of like a birthday DAY but just us. I have had others tell me this is what they do and that the kids seem to enjoy it so much more than a big huge party. Or she can invite a friend and I will take them to the movies. Now if only I can use that whole "I'm not doing birthday parties so you shouldn't do birthday parties" thing and convince my siblings that my way is best.

My next big mission is convincing Tegan that age three was the cut off for boys to have big birthday parties:)

No Words Needed

It Is Mine...Not Yours!

There are always going to be those people, the ones that look down on others because of what they don't have. I have been complaining a lot lately about my old, small home that I don't feel like I can be proud of. It isn't what everyone else has and at age 30 I thought I would be somewhere different by this point. Recently my sister-in-law had a car accident. Still unsure of whether her car will be totaled or not she made a comment that made me think...she said "I have done all this complaining about my little car and now here I am with no car" or something like that (maybe not those exact words but you get the point). It made me think about how I have not been taking good care of my home because I am not happy with it. I keep dreaming of the homehouse that I will someday have and the sooner the better. I am wasting my time. Yes I do hope that my dream house is in my future but I also need to realize that no matter what others think this is my houseHOME and I am going to appreciate what God has given me at this moment.
It is my house, not yours. Before you judge others let me put something in perspective for you, we are not well off but we live within our means. While you have the big house and more than likely the big house payment to go along with it, I have the small house without that payment. While you drive the brand new nice car, I drive my older vehicle with NO CAR PAYMENT! While your kid has everything they can ever dream of, I am teaching my kid that simple is better and having everything handed to you is not going to make you happy. Is there anything wrong with having the nice house, nice cars and giving your kids everything they want...No! But you do it your way and I do it mine. This takes me back to the whole "You just never know" thing that I say. Just as if you don't know what other people are going through you also shouldn't judge others based on what they have because they may just have a hefty savings that will see them through in hard times. They may just be waiting to get what they really want in the long run but doing it their way.
I am working very hard to be content where I am at because one thing is certain....it is not promised to be here tomorrow!

The Push and Pull

I really have no idea if that title means the same to some as it does me but what I mean by it is that sometimes I feel a push to do something and then I feel a pull back to not do it. It is very hard to figure out if the push is the devil or God or if the pull back is God or the devil. There are lots of things going on and lots of decision making.

1. I have felt a push (along with my husband) to try another church but every time we decide to do it something gets in our way and our hearts pull us back. As a kid when I would go to church with my friends and all the adults knew that kids name I always wanted to be that kid. I wanted to be the kid that all the grown ups knew but I never was b/c we didn't go to church growing up. I love our church, I love our preacher and I love that everybody knows everybody and especially that I can trust them with my kids. I do however lack a fire...not sure what it is but I'm just not getting it.

2. I have committed with hundreds of hours of class time to pursue a career in the medical field. I feel like that is what I am suppose to do but then I will feel that pull back. The pull that tells me that I will work odd hospital shift hours and will miss some holidays and some of my kids events. Then I will feel the push that tells me this is something I have always wanted to do and the bonus of making great money doesn't hurt. See my dilemma??

3. Teg and preschool. At this point we are paying a large amount of money for him to go to preschool from 8 to 12 everyday. In fact we are paying $300 which is worth every penny b/c this is the very best preschool ever. The problem is that I am not really doing anything in the mornings and there is really nothing to justify sending him instead of saving that $300 a month. I'm very indecisive about this one. I feel the push to send him and the pull to be able to afford to eat:)

What got me thinking today about the push and pull issues in my own life is that when I was leaving class this afternoon I saw a little boy about 5 or 6 sitting in the car with the schools security guard there and a policeman just waiting. I realized what was happening right off the bat. Someone just went in to class and left their kid in the car. My first concern was for the boy. He looked scared but even more so worried while he kept getting up on his knees to look out the window for his mom, dad or caretaker. I have been in classes before where people have had no other choice but to bring their kid(s) with them to class but I have also been in classes before where a big test was coming up that you can't miss and the teachers refused to let someone bring their kid in so they could take the test. I'm sure people feel this with their jobs...if your in a tough spot you feel like you have to go to work to stay in good standing at your job but at the same time if your kid gets sick or they don't have school that day they really need you. There are lots of classes at my college that you can miss and be fine but there are also lots of classes that if you miss just one you will never catch up. I should have sat and waited on the persons reaction when they came out and saw the police standing by their car with their child in it but I didn't. I would never leave my kids in the car to go to class but I do see how it happens. Lots of people are quick to judge someone for doing that but here you have someone going to school and trying to do better to provide for their kids and has no other option b/c around here school is still out today so they couldn't very well send them to school while they went to class. Its all about the sacrifices we have to make and also how we don't know other people situation so we should take a moment to feel sympathy and not anger toward others!

Don't Blink

So of course I am a little later with this post than I planned. My husband has been off all this past week and he has just thrown my schedule all out of whack. Add two kids out of school and you get a mama that is doing a lot of cleaning and cooking that normally she wouldn't be doing if everyone was at their usual places. I start back school tomorrow, hubby starts back work on Tuesday, Teg starts back school on Tuesday and Ry rounds it out by heading back to school on Wed. Side note: Ry has definitely overcome her issues b/c she has been talking for days about how she has had a lot of time with us and is missing her friends so she thinks it is time to go back to school.
Anyway I just can't believe that this past year is over. It was thankfully one of the less eventful years that we have had in a very long time. I went to school the whole year (that's a first), Teg started preschool and my husband FINALLY found a new job. I would say that 2010 was a great year and I have no complaints. In fact I think by having a low key year it has really helped to heal us from all the stuff that has happened in the previous years. I am so praying for 2011 (I wrote 2012 the first time I typed that:) to be the same. I am looking forward to applying to my programs for school and determined to pray myself right in to one or five of them.
Sadly our kids will turn 8 and 4 this year and we will be celebrating 10 years of marriage. I just can't believe how fast time has gone by and can't help but fear at how quickly the rest of my life will go. I am so afraid to blink b/c I know that every time I do I am missing something.
As with every new year I always make resolutions that NEVER happen but this year I am calling them goals. It just doesn't seem right to not make some kind of goal for the year so even if it doesn't happen at least I had good intentions. So here they are:
1. Cut down on how often I tell my kids "No I can't play right now", "I'm busy" or "Maybe later". I am so broken hearted that Ry is turning 8 soon and even more broken hearted to think of how many times I have said those three phrases to her!
2. Cut down on my computer time. Such as facebook and reading other peoples blogs:)
3. Teach Tegan how to talk with an inside voice. No joke, I thought he had a hearing problem but the Dr laughed at me when I mentioned it to him. He is so loud that it just cuts like a knife sometimes. Nothing is a secret when it is being repeated by Teg. I love that kid but he got that straight from my Daddy!

So that's it. Nothing that can't be achieved. I always say I need more hours in the day and I'm pretty sure I can find them if my face isn't stuck in the computer all the time! I am cutting out 75% of my computer time while the kids are awake and plan to mostly get on during nap time and after bedtime. I say only 75% b/c I do have 2 completely online classes this quarter and one that is half online and half on campus so to think that I won't be on the computer at all is a little unrealistic.

I don't know what it is about the New Year that makes us feel like anything is possible and like we are getting a fresh start but I do feel that way and I pray that you make the changes you need to make before it is to late to go back! Hope the new year was safe for everyone and praising God for the great year I have ahead of me!!!