She doesn't look sick...

Rylee had a little upset stomach last night and therefore tricked us in to letting her stay home from school today. The girl has been fine all day, I on the other hand am give out b/c I slept on one couch while she slept on the other fearing that she was sicker than what she really was.

What would have been but isn't....

One year ago today was my due date with Cohen. Had he been healthy I would be chasing and celebrating the first birthday of our first son.

I am so glad that I have Rylee and Tegan to love. If any good has come out of losing Cohen it has been that I realize how precious my other two children are.

Happy 1/2 Birthday Tegan!!!!

Today Tegan is six months old....time flies! Of course another month older means another doctors visit. Usually I leave the Dr. informed and feeling like me and the Dr. are on the same page about Tegan but not today. Don't get me wrong, I love Rylee and Tegan' pediatrician but today I didn't feel like he was hearing all the good and was only hearing the bad. There are still lots of things that our little guy has got to catch up on but given the progress he has made in just the past week I feel like things are moving in the right direction....at least things aren't standing still anymore. Unfortunately me and him both have came to the same conclusion about someone specializing in Nystagmus (his eye condition), there just isn't anyone. As we talked he did suggest that maybe some of Tegan's issues are just him being a little slower physically and moving at his own pace but he also mentioned some other scenario's of things it could be...which I will not mention b/c I am keeping with what I have been learning, the power of positive thinking. Truthfully since I have started this study of the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking and envisioning Tegan catching up and being totally healthy is when he started to roll over, reach a little for a toy, look at his feet, hold his bottle, etc... Dr. Glassman mentioned today that we shouldn't expect Tegan to walk until well after he is 18 months old, that I do not agree with at all. I will not let Dr.'s suggest things like that and make me feel like there is a limitation on him. So own to his monthly stats: The heavyweight weighed in at 19 lbs 13 oz!!! Yes he is in the 90th percentile for basically everything. His length had the biggest jump of all which was 27 1/2" long. Unfortunately he was postponed on getting his immunizations yet again, so far he has only gotten the 2month round b/c shortly after that was when his problems started.

Rylee had to go for a possible urinary tract infection which she has but they couldn't tell if it was just that or also a kidney infection so they sent her urine off to be tested further and will call us tomorrow about getting her antibiotics.

On a lighter note, last night Tegan kept rolling from his back to his belly and for the first time me and Paul actually got to see him roll from his belly back to his back. I was so excited to see that although it looked like more of an accident but that's o.k. with me.

A little lesson on PRUNES....

Disclaimer: the following post contains graphic details of Tegan's pooping so please do not read any further if you do not care to! HA!
So since Tegan eats so much cereal in his bottles and is now eating baby food his dirty diapers have become not so dirty and a little harder to come by. It's almost like his whole digestive track has already changed. So Sunday night I decided that I was going to feed him some prunes to sort of help him out a little. Well I didn't really expect him to like them so I had planned to try to get him to eat half of a jar and then give him something else for the other half of his meal. But he loved the prunes....he loved them so much that he ate the whole jar. What was I thinking??? Yesterday the boy began pooping and they were very dirty....very, very dirty and stinky. To the point that even though he had a clean diaper you could still smell it all day so once he had several dirty diapers like that and I thought he was done, I had to give him a bath. He was so happy that he could go to the bathroom without all that grunting. Unfortunately for my mom, she caught the worst of it b/c she was keeping him yesterday morning. It has been five years since I did the baby food thing with Rylee so I really did forget that giving him the whole jar probably wasn't a good idea. But needless to say it worked and he is a happy camper. Now so far today.....nothing yet so let's hope he doesn't have to have prunes daily to help him out.

End disclaimer!

On a different note the weekend was pretty busy. I think we stayed home on Friday night although I can't really remember. Saturday I went to the grocery store that morning all by myself. I was so proud of that. Then that night Paul wanted to go with his family to eat at a fish house in Cornelia, Baldwin, Clarkesville....something like that, I'm not sure where we went. Tegan almost freaked out a few times b/c it was loud in there but I stayed in his line of vision and he did great besides spitting up all over me which then went all down my shirt sleeve on the inside of it running down my arm. Then Rylee took a big drink of her milk and turned to talk to me and either forgot to close her mouth or just didn't care b/c her milk then went down the other side of me. Then I was turning Tegan around and he grabbed Rylee's straw on the rest of her milk which then landed in the floor all over the bottom of my pants and all over my shoes...did I mention I was wearing crocs with the open holes on the top. Then Sunday morning we went to church where Tegan and his little friend talked to each other across the whole church during church. That is way better than crying I guess. Paul is a bad influence on him and kept trying to make him laugh out loud...that is the last time Paul holds him during church. I went ahead and gave both children an early afternoon bath and while getting out of the tub Rylee started screaming and crying and saying her back hurt, she was very squirmy and seemed to really be in pain. So I thought I was about to take her to the hospital but she wouldn't let me get her dressed b/c she said it hurt so bad. No she didn't hit it or anything so I'm not sure what was going on but after a few minutes it started to pass and she has been fine ever since. Then Sunday afternoon we went to celebrate my dad's "38th" (whatever) birthday with him at Red Lobster. Dad denies his age and would kill me if I told you what it really was. Then Sunday night we went to bed fairly early where I then laid and looked at the clock until almost 5 am Monday morning. It was one of those restless, I can't go to sleep nights. So after finally falling asleep at around 5 am, Tegan woke up at 6:30 and that was that. Of course Rylee actually slept all night long on the one night I couldn't sleep. Needless to say I got a great nights sleep last night. Tomorrow both kids have Dr.'s appointments, Tegan for his six month check-up and Rylee for a possible urinary tract or kidney infection, so I should have some good weight updates for Tegan.

Pictures

He is hitting milestones!!!!

O.k. so maybe he is a little behind in doing pretty much all of these things but at least he is doing them. In one day he rolled from his belly to his back, held his own bottle for two feedings and was looking at his feet with amazement. The very next day he was laughing at himself in the mirror for the first time and also finally getting distracted by things while eating his bottle. Which is aggravating but I'm glad that he is aware of what is going on around him. He has gotten amazing at sitting in his bumbo. Today I got to witness him roll (the hard way) from his back to his belly two times in a row. Now I haven't seen him go from his belly yet but he is going from his back to his belly!!!! He is amazing!

Below are two pictures of Tegan helping daddy get things ready for our taxes.

Welcome back to the real world

Well sortof. I know you will all be sad to hear that I have somewhat returned back to the working world after 10 months of being out of work. Most of you know that it started when I was 20 weeks pregnant with Tegan and was put out of work and haven't worked since. He is now almost 6 months old. It's not a huge job but it is very flexible with all Tegan's Dr.'s appointments and upcoming physical therapy. I am only working 16 hours a week ( 4 hours a day 4 days a week) for a friend who lives right down the street and owns a Auto Repair shop. I am doing some secretary work for him. It's kindof nice b/c I can leave the house at 8:00 am and get to work at 8:00 am. Literally, that is how close it is!!!! It sucks that me and Tegan don't get to sleep in anymore but hopefully me and him will both get use to it. Luckily between my mom and Paul's mom we aren't having to pay someone to keep Tegan or worry about taking him somewhere. That is nice.

I MISSED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it that I missed my sweet boy roll over for the very first time. You would think that I was gone or not nearby by but I had just turned my back and walked out of the room and heard a giggle, as I walked right back in the room the little boy that I had left on his belly was now on his back. The little turd!!!! I have watched him for months waiting on this to happen as he is 6 months old next week and should have done this about 2 months ago and then he goes and does it when no one is looking.
On a different note.....MY BOY FINALLY ROLLED OVER! Could this be the start of something great.....you bet! He is about to start catching up I just know it. Of course I tried and tried to get him to do it again but he didn't even try. I know this is the easy way for a baby to roll over but he has never even pushed up with his arms or really do anything while on his belly so I am just so excited. He does roll up on his side when laying on his back and try to roll over but hasn't been successful. He is well on his way. I just hope when he rolls over the next time that somebody witnesses it.

He got approved!!!!!

Tegan got the approval for physical therapy! I am so excited b/c I feel like this will really help him. We didn't get approved through insurance for as much as we wanted but atleast we got one day a week for a whole hour. I am so looking forward to this and know that he is going to make amazing progress! Hopefully they will be adding occupational therapy to the mix after a month or so.

Getting what he wants...

Most of you have already figured out that Tegan is pretty good at getting me to do anything that he wants. Well with eating baby food, things are no different. He loves any and all fruit that I give him but when it comes to vegetables, he is his mama's child. He had been eating squash really well but I went two days without giving him vegetables ( don't worry he only gets baby food once a day so this is easy to do) so when I attempted it last night, he didn't agree with me. First off I have tried to get him to eat green beans and peas before and he pretty much refuses anything green and makes a horrible face. So I tried peas again the other night and he kept making that funny face and wouldn't open his mouth so I went and got squash. Well apparently he figured out that maybe if he turned his nose up to squash that I would then go and get yet another baby food and try that. But I stood my ground and decided he would eat the squash or wait for his next bottle....which is pretty much what happened. After having squash literally spit at me several times I called it quits. I kept trying to get a picture of him making that face he makes when he doesn't like it but he would stop as soon as he saw the camera. Well the second one below is sortof close to it. He was trying to stop the look when I snapped the picture.

He is the cutest little guy ever! That is the squash coming back out which he doesn't usually do anymore.

This is sortof the face. Atleast you get the idea.

Stop with the camera lady!

Refusing a bite of squash.

What color are this kids eyes? Can anyone tell me! I suck at the eye color thing but some days they look one color and the next day a different color.

So Handsome!

Fresh Air....

Since we have all had snotty noses and been in the house alot me and Rylee decided today to take a little trip outside. I believe Rylee's words are as follows...."I want to go outside and ride my scooter for some fresh air!" The wind took it's cue to start really blowing one minute after we got outside but we managed to tolerate it for a while but it got to bad to stay after about 30 minutes. Note that now that we are inside, the wind is no longer blowing.

Valentine's Day

We had a good Valentine's day. First I got to go to Rylee's school party which is a rare thing b/c they only let a few parent's come to each party so you only get to go to one a year. Rylee was so excited to have me there. After the party they let me go outside with her to play on the playground and I also got to talk some to her teacher which I never get to see b/c Paul always takes her and picks her up. Then I came home and got Tegan from Joan. Then me and him went and met Paul for a Valentine's lunch together which was nice. Plus going at lunch is great b/c then you don't have to fight all the crowds at night. Then came home and relaxed a while. Then Paul went and got us chinese food for supper. So all in all it was a pretty good valentine's day!

Law of Attraction part lll

So I have really been reading the book The Secret and trying to focus alot through out the day about some of my thoughts and how they may be affecting my life. I thought I would share a summary of some of the high points I have read.

"Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22

"What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." Mark 11:24

It is impossible to feel bad and have good thoughts at the same time.
Like attracts like.

There is a part in the book where it talks about weight. This is just an example but it says that there is a misunderstanding that food causes you to be over weight. It is not saying that you should run around stuffing your face and eating whatever you want but in some ways it is saying that we should all be able to eat what we want and not be unhappy with our bodies. When you eat you should eat and enjoy your meal...not let your mind wonder about other things. You should not think thoughts of hating your body but yet get comfortable for who you are. It says to figure out what would be your perfect weight....be realistic, a 250 lb person shouldn't say they want to become 115 lbs right away but yet a weight that is more acheiveable and will make them happy and feel better about themselves. You should find a picture of a body that you would like to have and imagine yourself not only looking that way but feeling as good as you think you would feel after losing those extra lbs. Then you should not buy clothes for your size now but yet save the money with full intentions of using it on new clothes when you hit your new perfect weight. Stop thinking about being overweight b/c that is what you attract. Think about being healthy and at your perfect weight. Don't think about how you will get there but yet just think about the outcome b/c the work will take care of its self. This is just one example it talks about but it also talks about other things....like a new house. If you want a new house then you should always be looking for it whether you can afford it or not and be open to the idea that you will have one of these houses soon. You have to get excited about the things you want as if you know they are on their way to you. That is the best way to keep yourself open to these things and ready to recieve them.
I don't know if this is all confusing or not but it is the best way I can take the last 75 pages I have read and bring it down to one blog. All I know is that I am constantly telling myself that I am happy, healthy, well, energetic and blessed. Instead of thinking about hurting or being sick or so tired that I have felt like I couldn't move. I must say, the change in my thinking seems to be making a huge difference in me!

Not Sew much fun....

HA! So me and mom made big plans that today she was going to come over to the house at 9:00 and stay for a few hours and take care of Tegan while I strictly sat at the sewing machine and made some diaper bags or handbags. Well Paul has had all this crud and congestion this past week but everyone else has been fine. Rylee was perfect when she went to sleep last night but about 2:00 a.m. she woke up crying saying she had snot all over her. Yes people, I said snot. At first I thought that she must be confused and really had thrown up or something but nope she was right, it was snot and boy was I glad it wasn't throw up. Her nose had apparently been running a lot and she used her hand as a kleenex in her sleep and then she got it everywhere. She said her throat her also. So I doped her up with some medicine and zicam in her nose, changed her clothes and cleaned up the rest of the nasty stuff and put her back in the bed but at that point the damage was done and she was wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep. So needless to say she got up about 10 more times between the times of 2:00 am and about 5:00 am. So this morning I just decided to not only let her stay home from school but also not wake Paul up and let him sleep since he feels like crap also. So at around 7:30 I called mom to cancel her help for the day. Oh well, maybe next week!

Sorry it's sideways but does this look like the face of a sick little girl or a little girl who was just happy to get a day out of school. Just kidding....she really can't breath!

Boy it is cloudy outside. Here comes the rain!

Update...nothing special

Tegan took a three hour nap today! Isn't that amazing!!! The only bad thing about that was that I kept just sitting there expecting him to wake up at any minute so I didn't get anything done while he was sleeping. Since he slept through one of his bottles he wanted to eat at 8:30 tonight and I gave him a little extra then he just went right off to sleep for the night. That was nice to have both kids in bed by 9:00. That is one of the goals that I am adding to try to reach each night. It gives me a little extra time at night before bed.
Tegan really hasn't changed much in his status. He will play with toys a little if placed in his hand but he still isn't reaching for anything, still not rolling over and some of the other things he should be doing. He seems to be a lot more alert and follows us so much now. He talks, girggles and screams (like a fun scream) a lot these days. It is so cute to listen to. Hopefully we will be getting the results of some of the many test that we have had done lately.

Rylee is doing great. She is such a grown up and Paul realized for the first time yesterday that there is no chance of her being a tom boy b/c she is so girly and all about her inner princess. Which I love. On top of being Hannah Montana and giving regular free concerts, she has now decided to also be a cheerleader and thinks that we should watch her do that also. Tonight I asked her to spell cat out of the blue and she did. I didn't even know that she could do that. She is an amazing little five year old going on 15. It has been said that if she acts that grown up now then we will for sure have our hands full when she is a teenager. I better let her love all over me now b/c she probably won't then!

Busy, Busy, Busy

This boy has got to be the cutest boy you have ever seen! This is our set up for him trying to learn to hold his head up and look around. It doesn't really like it. It is a boppy lounger on bottom with a regular boppy on top so that it seems like he is on his knees. We are trying to lift him up higher to visually stimulate him a little more since he has no interest being on his belly and looking around.


This is the behind shot of him doing his version of "tummy time"

This is him after tummy time and exercise time. He loves this blanket and when given to him during nap time he likes to pull it up to his face and go to sleep.

O.k. so I had to take a picture.....this is a picture of the very first time in the five months that Tegan has been with us that the germaphobe mom (that would be me) allowed Rylee to actually touch his hand! She was so proud she insisted on me taking a picture.

Rylee was dancing on the coffee table.

Yes, Daddy and Tegan are laying on a very girly pink blanket for play time.

It seems like lately we just haven't had a chance to rest. Maybe this next week me and Tegan will have some relaxing days although that is unlikely b/c my mom is making me work on some diaper bags while she comes and sits with Tegan for me. I guess I talked about needing to make money enough that she decided to push me in the right direction.

Tegan had a day full of not wanting to sleep at all. He was wide awake all day yet would cry b/c he was tired. He gave it up pretty good tonight at bed time. I can't complain about him not sleeping during the day today b/c usually during the week he sleeps like clock work during the day and he is an excellent nighttime sleeper.

Me, Tegan, mama, Shannon, Caden, Melissa and the little girl she keeps, Mallory, all went to a consignment sale on Friday. It was good in theory but I think that the clothes I was going to look at was the highest in demand therefore they were very picked over by the time we got there. Shannon came out good getting a very pretty twin size comforter for Breanna's bed. And Mama, you know the one who didn't want to go but we made her, got the most for her adopted grandchild, Breanna. For those of you who don't know she will be adopting one of my kids soon isn't that right Shannon?

Law of Attraction Part ll

So I have begun reading the book "The Secret". I'm not sure what to make of it in the beginning but as I read it becomes more clear. It had me in fear at first b/c it kept saying that you attract things in your life with every thought...Positive or negative. But then it goes on to explain the a positive thought is 100 times stronger than a negative thought and also we are fortunate enough to have a time delay. Therefore we can rethink our negative thoughts and make them positive.
While reading this you become greatly aware of how many negative thoughts we really do have at all times and it makes you wonder....could this be true.
It gives the example of laws, no not your running a red light laws but laws like the law of gravity. If you are falling off of a 10 story building, the law of gravity does not care if you are a good person or a bad person, that law just knows you are falling and that's that. So say when we think, I don't want to get sick, the law of attraction doesn't understand that you don't want to get sick, it interprets it as I want sickness. Does that make sense? Imagine yourself on a daily basis with abundance....the great job, family, health, wealth, house, car, etc....Whatever it is that you want and believe in it and know that if you think it and believe it then it will come to you.
"Your current thoughts are creating your future life. What you think about the most or focus on the most will appear as your life."

Law of Attraction

So yesterday I was watching Oprah and it was all about the Law of Attraction. The meaning is that we are what we think we are, we get what we think we get and feel like we think we feel. The concept is the "Power of Positive thinking." Does this really work? Well Paul reads lots of Joel Osteen and now some other guy who talks about the way we think and he has been telling me these things for months now but I haven't listened. I guess b/c no matter how positive he thinks, we still keep having bad luck. But maybe I'm screwing that up with my negative thinking. There is a book that they kept talking about yesterday called The Secret (I've already ordered it from Amazon) and it tells you what the secret is to life. Everyone kept talking about how the book tells you to create a visualization board. Which is mostly things that you want to achieve, recieve or give. Like for instance my body has hurt since I had Tegan....well really since I had Rylee and the fact that I just complain about it doesn't do any good. If I get up everyday and say I feel good, am healthy and feel better than ever then the law of attraction will bring that to me. I don't neccessarily believe in the law of attraction, well maybe it does exist but I believe that the law of attraction is God and only what God wants you to have. They had a woman on there yesterday that wanted to remodel her kitchen one day so she cut out a picture of a super expensive stove and put it on her visualization board. When she got to remodel the kitchen she still wasn't ready to pay that much for a stove so she got a lower end stove. They brought out two stoves to her and both didn't work and so the store owner wanted to give her something for he trouble so he gave her a more expensive stove for the price of the one she had purchased earlier. When she got home she looked at the picture on her board and noticed it was the exact same stove that had been on her board for over a year! I'm not saying that we will get everything we want but take my situation for example, I have Tegan....when I was pregnant with Tegan and almost lost him at 20 weeks I prayed for God to give me this baby no matter what. Here he is, the cutest baby in the whole world but may have some life long problems, well if I invision him never accomplishing things out of his reach or never being normal then the likely hood that will happen is great. If I invision him making great strides and being normal and accomplishing things beyond what doctors say he can accomplish then that will happen.

So this morning I tested my theory out....I was tired and well, lazy and didn't want to do anything so I started thinking about what it would be like to get out of the shower and my kitchen be clean and laundry done. It was disappointing when that didn't exactly happen but I got a burst of energy and began cleaning and here it is 2:00 and my kitchen is clean and all the sheets in the house have been washed. So even though I hate to admit it maybe Paul is right, we need to change our thinking and let God give us the gifts that he wants to give us and stop fighting these gifts by being negative and thinking negative. Maybe good things haven't happened to us over the past two years b/c we keep thinking "What Next?"
I know some of you think this post is crazy but I am going to read the book and also another book that Oprah has recommended called "A New Earth" and follow the steps and change what's in my heart and mind and test the theory! I will blog about it on a regular basis and I will take pictures once I complete my visualization board.....I want so many things that I may need many boards! By wanting things I don't mean all material, I mean Health, energy, worry free, etc.... and maybe a few material things!

Yet more birthdays...

I forgot to post a big happy birthday to Breanna, who turned 11 on Saturday and a happy birthday to Lamar who is 23 (I think) today! Happy birthday guys!

Another big day

Yesterday was another one of those dreaded big days for Tegan. He had to have an ElectroRetino Gram at Emory yesterday. It was a long test and he didn't really like the whole process. This test will determine if his Nystagmus is caused by Retinal Dystrophy....which the Dr. doesn't think he has but has to do the test to be sure. We left home around 10:30 and arrived in Atlanta at Emory around 12:15. They called us right back at 1:00 (his appt. time) and talked us through the process. They had to dilate his eyes and also put in numbing drops which they said would sting. He held out o.k. for a few minutes. Then we had to sit in a room the size of a closet with him in the complete dark for 20 minutes before beginning the test. When they came in and started taping all the wires and electrodes all over his head he started having a fit. He screamed and screamed. Picture this, me, Paul, Tegan and two doctors in the room no bigger than a small bathroom or a walk-in closet with a big testing machine in it and no air blowing and him screaming and me trying to calm him down but I can't get up and walk him b/c he is all connected to stuff. He probably screamed for 15 minutes, by this time I was burning up and my head hurt and then he was burning up but eventually went to sleep. Very slowly they continued to hook him up to stuff but since he was asleep the test peice had to be like a contact lens with a whole lot of extra bulk on it to sit on his eye and then hold that eye open. They managed to get that on there without him waking so he made it through most of the actual test asleep but he then woke up and was not happy about this huge thing on his eye and began screaming. They were suppose to do both eyes but luckily they called it a day and only got the reading from his right eye. If something comes back bad with that then we will have to have the other one done, if it is o.k. then he shouldn't have to have that again. The machine that reads the cell functions in his eye was horrible b/c I had to hold him the entire test, I too had to sit in front of the machine, in the dark with these horrible flashing light right in my face and did I mention I had a headache and was very hot!!!! But me and him both made it through and we finally got out of there at around 3:00 and headed home. Not one of my most favorite days at all but not the worst either. But just another stepping stone that my poor Tegan has to go through. Hopefully we are getting to the end of all this testing and they will soon determine his delays are just the nystagmus and we can concentrate on our next move with that.

I think the stress is getting to me. I haven't felt well today with a lot of stomach cramping and just so weak and tired feeling but I'm starting to feel better this afternoon. Luckily Paul has been home to help with Tegan!

Just when you think she forgot...

Ok so I am learning that my digital camera is not the best way to video b/c most of the videos turn out pretty dark once on the computer. When you listen to the video just listen closley to the beginning when Rylee is talking to Tegan and listen to what she says. She mentions Cohen, which was unexpected. Other than that it was really cute to catch her just talking to him and I don't know if you can tell or not but Tegan kept smiling at her while she talked.

Oh, for those of you who read that does not know me, Cohen is our baby angel that we had half way through our pregnancy. Just a couple of short months later we became pregnant with Tegan.