Saying Good Bye to 2007

Well 2007 is finally coming to a close. Boy has it been a long year for us, as 2006 was. The past two years of our lives have become somewhat of a blurr but yet my heart still feels every second of it. I still feel every second of being pregnant with Cohen, every second of being induced and delivering a son whom I knew his heart would stop beating only seconds later, I still feel every second of Paul's dads (Horace) sickness, death and grief that Paul and his family have felt, myself included. But what mostly pops into my mind for the past two years is feeling every second of fear when in the first week of January last year I found out I was pregnant again just three months after sending Cohen to heaven. Then it began, one doctors appointment after another not only with my ob/gyn but with a specialist that would be constantly looking for any signs of the problems that Cohen had. Every time I had a ultrasound fear would come over me and I would feel sick to my stomach. We were already five months in and had been cleared of everything that was wrong with Cohen and had been told that we were once again having a boy. Then came a five month and one day ultrasound just to check size and I made a random comment to the tech that I felt like he was falling out of me. The tech actually listened to me and checked my cervix and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital. I was put on strict bed rest that didn't work and 5 days later was being rushed in to surgery to have a stitch put in. I had a hopeless feeling right up to the second before going to sleep. I went to sleep praying for good results and I got them. The next 17 weeks of pregnancy were hard on me both physically and emotionally. I blocked my heart off from my precious boy for a certain amount of time until I got to a safe point with him. At one point the goal was for me to carry him for 26 weeks but I made it (hot summer and all) to 37 weeks. The first moment I heard him cry was the most unreal thing I could have ever imagined. I instantly let my guard down, started to really love him and, of course, I started crying. He was in the NICU for 5 days but came home healthy on his sixth day of life.

Then I began to feel again....I felt every blessing (and still do) of every cry, every middle of the night feeding, every dirty diaper and so on. Tegan Horace Minish, named for his late grandfather, has been my saving grace. My heart still hurts for Cohen and sometimes I lapse back into the sadness b/c one child does not replace another but I can't help but thinking that had Cohen lived....would I have ever gotten Tegan?

We have been dealing with new battles the past few months and at first I felt hopeless but now my mind, body and heart feel optimistic and hopeful....something I never thought I would feel again. I am excited for the new year. For my clean slate to begin. I am excited to be a better mother to Rylee than I have physically and emotionally been able to do the past two years.

I want to share with you two bible verses that help me daily. Right after losing Cohen and Horace I wrote out this verse and taped it up on my bathroom mirror. Everyday I am forced to read it and even during hard times I have thrown it back up to God:

His plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Over the past two years I have been trying to understand and truly feel the next verse. I'm not there yet....I don't have my perfect peace yet, but I work toward it everyday:

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock Eternal.
Isaiah 26: 3-4

Here's to all of you and myself finding PERFECT PEACE in 2008! Count your blessings now before they are gone!

Tegan...enough said.

Paul was trying to take a picture of me and Tegan and it went bad fast. He immediately started screaming as soon as I picked him up. Below is a picture of him crying on my shoulder.

Then suddenly he stopped screaming and just looked at Paul with this mean look.

Then decided he loved me and wanted a picture with me. All this took place over about 30 seconds time.

He has been a little irritable today as he is recovering from a little upset stomach yesterday. But I have managed to get a little fun out of him. I was playing with him in the floor and he started giggling at me. I love that sound.

Catching up

A new career for Paul

Paul has officially became a "working" insurance agent. He is working in Commerce at North Georgia Insurance. So give him a call for a free, no obligation insurance quote. He might be able to save you some money and I know that everyone loves that.

Sick little boy...

Tegan has been having some watery diapers and I am starting to believe that he has a little stomach bug. I am trying to be careful with washing my hands just in case b/c I don't want Rylee getting sick again. He is a little ill today so I am assuming that his belly is hurting but he is still very willing to drink his milk so I keep giving it to him. I have pedalyte on hand just in case. Poor Fellow!

Oh....also I got that appointment of his that was in March, moved up to Jan. 18th!

Playing with Tegan....

I am going to start putting him in his high chair daily to help him gain his balance. I put him in his bumbo, which he usually hates, but I made him sit there for a minute to push through the crying and he did get better and sit there real still. He still sort of favors slumping to his right side but hopefully that will improve. He laid in the floor tonight on his back for a long time and was kicking so hard that he was making his way across the floor. I put him on his belly (which he hates also) and he did pretty good tonight. He is really starting to gab and talk a lot lately too. That is the sweetest sound.

Christmas 2007

We had a very busy Christmas. Tegan had a pretty good first Christmas. It was as if he knew b/c he woke up right when Rylee was starting to open her Santa. We had lunch with Paul's side of the family on Christmas Eve, my grandmother's Christmas Eve night, Santa Christmas morning, then down to Joan's for breakfast and more presents, and then my dad and others came here for Christmas on Christmas night. It was non-stop but good. Tegan did pretty good, he would panic a little in the loud area's but he got o.k.

Rylee got everything she wanted. Her most favorite things were her Hannah Montana stuff and her furberry. Below there are a few pictures of her, one being of her in her new High School musical 2 pajamas and another of her sitting at her new desk.

Tegan did good too. He got a few toys and a lot of clothes, walker, high chair, stroller, diapers and formula (which mommy and daddy loved) Thanks to all! There are a few below of him playing on his new play mat, in his new high chair and in a new Georgia outfit. He got lots of Georgia stuff: two outfits, two pacifiers, come sippy cups and a new Georgia umbrella stroller. He is ready for his cousin Taylor's Georgia party in January.

I tried not to do picture overload but who can resist!

Santa Baby....

That's what Paul has Rylee singing while wearing her Santa hat.

Judge for yourself

I have been really working with Tegan and he is sort of lifting his head while on his belly. Of course when I took out the camera, he pretty much stopped.

The middle picture is to show you all how long he is. Everyone says that he is so big, and he is but I have just started to notice that he has gotten so long. Like all his 3 to 6 months sleepers don't fit anymore b/c he can't straighten out his legs in them.

Christmas at Mom's

We always do a early Christmas at my mom's with just the siblings and their families. We had it last night and I didn't get to enjoy the food or the present opening like normal. Right about time to eat Tegan started screaming....not crying but screaming the same scream he had when he was getting a needle stuck in him to draw blood. I thought it was all the loud noise but taking him in another room didn't help. Finally we put him in the car seat and Paul took him for a ride to make him go off to sleep. When he came back his diaper was very dirty and he was a whole new baby. I'm hoping it was just a little tummy ache. He has been fine ever since. Sorry, I wasn't able to get pictures over there b/c I was dealing with him the whole time but I will get some over the next few days. We have a busy two days ahead of us. I'm already tired just thinking about it.

On the other hand....I got a great picture frame from Hannah, who drew my name. I love it. Rylee has been in heaven with all her Hannah Montana and Princess stuff she got. She loves it. Tegan got himself a new singing and colorful mobile for above his bed, some sleepers, two packs of diapers (thanks so much) and a little truck. Paul got a practice putting golf thingy....not sure what to call it but he liked it a lot also.

All Better

Rylee is all better! She is feeling better and I am so glad that is over. Hopefully we will have a sick free holiday this year. Don't worry (my family) if anyone else gets sick in my household we will stay away for our Christmas on Saturday night. We don't want to spread anything around.

My sick little girl

Despite my best efforts to keep Rylee well during this time of year (and the rest of the year), she woke up last night at 1:30 am throwing up.....or as she puts it....vomiting. It was horrible. Let's just say she had hot dogs for supper last night. Anyways she threw up three times and has dry heaved a little this morning but just ate a Popsicle and seems fine. I hope!
We think it came from church b/c rumor has it one of the little girls in her Sunday School class started throwing up right at the end of Sunday School on Sunday. But who knows, she is in class everyday with like 32 other kids.

I sent Paul off to do some of our last minute Christmas shopping just in case me and him get sick or Tegan gets sick and we can't finish it up. You know me....Miss Germaphobe.....I have felt sick ever since cleaning up her throw up last night. I don't want to rush my kids growing up but I will be glad when they can make it to the trash can. Which Rylee can but she always gets sick first in her sleep and can't make it.

O.k. enough about that junk. No update on Tegan yet or my job situation.

Christmas Program Show out

Rylee was in our Church's Christmas program tonight. She was so amazing. This is here second time being in the program and let me tell you she is not shy. Both times in the program she has stolen the show. She gets up there and does some silly eye catching things. Her and another little boy where fighting over the baby doll in the manger. She was Mary in the play. Then we went down stairs and Santa came to visit. She loved every minute of it and even stopped Santa to ask him if her mommy told him what she wanted for Christmas. Of course when he ask what does she want, she said a Hannah Montana movie. Lucky for me, Santa has already checked that gift off of his list. Here are some pictures of Rylee as Mary!

Christmas in the air

Wanda (Amy's mother-in-law) bought Rylee, Tegan and Leah matching Christmas outfits. Rylee and Leah have the same dresses and then Tegan has a little overall sleeper thingy. She requested that we take a picture of all of them together in their outfits so this morning they all wore them to church and we took a picture right after. Here is the one I got. I couldn't take many b/c I was on stand by making sure Rylee didn't drop Tegan.

Out of service...

My internet has not worked since Saturday. It has about killed me and Paul not to have our internet. So here is the run down....Tegan has been sleeping o.k. in his bed at night. The night before last he was in there from 9:30 until 9:15 the next morning. That was amazing. Tegan has been having a bad past few days, he is an angel in the morning and the screams all afternoon. Not sure what that is all about.
Paul's grandma is sick and in the hospital. The aren't expecting her to make it. I guess that will make for yet another happy Christmas.
I finally had my first job interview today but they say they aren't making a decision until the end of the month.
I went to the Dr. yesterday and he officially decided that I don't have a hernia but he can't tell me exactly what it is. So they scheduled me for a ct scan on December 19th which I won't go through with if we don't have insurance by then.
Tegan goes to the Dr. tomorrow. Anyone who has talked to me recently knows that I have been in a panic about his eyes. He doesn't seem to focus on much and he isn't following toys which he should be by now so I am taking him to let them check his eyes and developement. That's it. No new pictures today! Sorry!