The Simply Made

Sad Attempt at a Business Name Change:(

2012-02-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

Happy FRIDAY!!!!! I am just so excited that it is Friday!!! Alright....I am needing some major help from you guys. I know I have lots of lurkers out there and I am begging you all to chime in and help me out. Right now my card/invitation business is called Paper Pretty Designs. Someone else on etsy had the name Paper Pretty (even though they don't sell but just buy on etsy) so I had to add the designs to the end. I thought I loved it but I totally dislike how LONG the name is. The web address is 31 characters long, www.paperprettydesigns.etsy.com. See how long that looks. I want something short and catchy. Like one word or two short words. I need it to be short and cute. It doesn't have to have anything about designs or paper or anything like what it is named now.
I have been thinking of doing something with Cohen's name in it but still not sure how I feel about that. Here are a few names that I have come up with that include Cohen...give me your vote!!!
Cohen Designs
Cohen and Me
Cohen M.
Cohen Lane
or do you think I should just stop trying to change it and leave it Paper Pretty Designs?
or do you have a single cute word that would make a great little shop name? Suggestions???

HELP ME!!!! If you have been lurking, don't deny me from having a cute name by not voicing your opinion:)

Random Stuff

2012-02-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

Life has seemed a little more stressful this past week around here but then again, I'm thinking that busy and stressful is becoming my new normal! I am working on taking the next step with my business, Paper Pretty while still working part time and running here and there for my kids and husband.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike going to the post office??? My husband has been mailing lots and lots of stuff as he is working on a little something of his own lately and guess who the mail runner is! Yep....me! There isn't exactly a post office just up the street and everything cost more than you think it will to ship. I seriously think I should be getting paid for being the mail runner these days.

Tegan goes back to the eye Dr. at Emory next week. I don't really expect anything negative or new to be said and am hoping for appointments that are way more spread out from now on. I don't know how much better his eyes are but I do know that there is a lot of improvement and they continue to improve as time goes on.

The other day he wanted to play with the swiffer and "mop" the kitchen. Well I decided to take advantage of it and put a swiffer wet pad on there and get something out of it:) Moping is right there next to doing toilets in my book!

Rylee seems to be growing up right before my eyes. Bless her, she hates riding in the new little gas saver car. She says it is not a very pretty car. Even though it is old, I keep telling her that it is a BMW....how can you not like that!!!! Apparently, she doesn't care. I am using it as a tool to teach her (and myself) a little about being humble and letting going of the idea of what others think you should have.
I love the age that she is at b/c she can help me with things around the house but yet she is still young enough to be called my baby! She had to draw a picture for school the other day that showed a time when she did a good deed for someone. This is what she drew.....

Do you notice Tegan's really red eyes?

OK...that is all I have this week! Can you tell I am having some writers block??

Gas Saver!

2012-02-04T07:55:00.000-08:00

I have been complaining like crazy about how high gas is and how much my Explorer seems to be sucking it through a straw. Seriously, every time I take off, I cringe a little inside as I can feel the gas just flowing right out! I love that car though. It is strange but it was the first thing I did to try to make myself feel normal again after I lost Cohen over 5 years ago. It made me happy even if it was only a temporary feeling. So I am super attached to it. It has been a great car and has low miles on it for its age so I don't want that SUV to go anywhere!

We had a 3rd vehicle, Jeep Cherokee, that my husband would drive only if he needed room for both kids. Well yesterday my niece called and needed to buy a inexpensive car. She came over, loved the Jeep and drove away smiling with it. Since we still need a 3rd vehicle(for those of you just joining us my husband's heart belongs to an itty bitty truck that both kids can't ride in with him and that doesn't want to crank when it is super cold in the mornings:) and I needed to save on gas, the big search began. Within 2 or 3 hours I came across a much older BMW. An hour later it was ours:) Great price, great on gas, plenty of room, able to still keep my explorer and drives great!

Don't gasp about having a BMW....as with all our transactions these days, it had to be cheap enough to pay cash for. This would be why it is a 1993 BMW. Don't fear, we are still debt free!!!!

It isn't new or perfect but I love it and I am so excited to cut my gas in half!!! My husband did this for me without hesitation. He is such a great husband and is all mine!

Tales From a Mommy...

2012-02-02T12:47:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday my husband and I were laying on our bed in the middle of the afternoon. We were just chatting while both kids were to distracted to realize we were having an actual conversation without being interrupted by them. Unfortunately, our talk time didn't last very long before Tegan insisted on joining the party. He climbed on the bed and was all over both of us. I started playing with him only to be injured in the process. He had his back to me when he jerked his head backwards and slammed his extremely hard head right in to my eye/head. It hurt. It hurt so bad that I couldn't move or talk. My ears were literally ringing and I was scared to move b/c I was sure there was going to be blood all over the bed. A huge knot immediately graced me with its presence. Somehow my silence had a huge affect on Tegan and he thought that I was being mean to him b/c I was making him feel really bad by not talking to him.

It has been six days since we bumped heads. Did I mention that he was totally fine but I have a crazy black eye with some blood on the whites of my eyeball??? Yeap...not cool. Especially not cool when your job everyday is to go in and tell brand new parents that their baby needs to come with you unsupervised for about 30 minutes. I have joked with parents telling them everything from I was bar fighting this past weekend to another parent didn't want me to take their baby and gave me a black eye.

At first it didn't hurt once the whole shock wore off but last night and today it has been awful. It hurts to have my eye open and gives me a horrible headache that makes me feel really yucky and sick to my stomach. I was late for work this morning and had to get Paul to take the kids to school b/c I couldn't hardly hold myself up at 6:30 this morning. The funny part is that when I ask Tegan if he can see what he did to my eye, he responds with "I not see anyfing".

He better be glad he is cute b/c when he has that smug little grin and pretends that I am not walking around being stared at all day, I really want to chase him down and lick his face:)

Living Debt Free

2012-02-01T12:07:00.000-08:00

First let me start by saying I am not expert at this. In fact, I have had to follow my husband's lead in this season of our life all while kicking and screaming along the way. It is so hard to not have what other's have or to not be able to do what other's are doing but the difference in us and other's is that we choose to live very simple. Don't get me wrong, I totally want to go on a very ridiculous elaborate vacation or some awesome shopping trips or to have this big house that I can be proud of but the reality is that we are holding back now with great hopes of being able to do all those things both guilt and debt free in the future.

We don't have a fancy house. To be honest, I am embarrassed of my home sometimes. Once about 3 years ago a little girl came to spend the night with my daughter and her mom dropped her off. I could tell that she was hesitant to leave her daughter b/c she was judging a book by its cover. My house is clean(some days:), not falling apart, safe, full of love and PAID FOR! It isn't huge and perfect like their house apparently is b/c that mom has seen me out several times and has never spoken to me since. Now when people come to my house I have this need to say this home is paid for and we don't plan to live here forever and then I want to ask them how much debt do they have (but I don't). I want to clarify again that there is nothing wrong with my home and it is so much more than what other people have but it isn't a two story cape cod on a full basement and for that reason I am lower on the food chain than others and a little less safer from tornadoes.

We don't have brand new cars. I drive a 03 Ford Explorer. My husband drives a small little Toyota truck that is so old I'm not even sure what year it is. We have an older 3rd vehicle just in case b/c both kids don't fit in the tiny truck with my husband. I love my vehicle and the best thing about it is that we paid it off 4 years ago which was only a year and a half after purchasing it used!!! We have bought both of the other vehicles in the past couple of years and just paid cash money for them.

We don't have all the crazy extras like most people do like smart phones, ipads, Disney trips etc... But for now, that is OK and I can see all of those things in my very near future.

The point is that we are living well below our means today so that we aren't still paying for living beyond our means 30 years from now. We sold stuff we wanted to keep. We haven't bought things that we really wanted. We made hard decisions to get out of debt and now that we are here we plan to stay! We have no mortgage, no car payment, no credit card debt....nothing but a rental property that pays for its self. I struggle with not going out to eat all the time like we did before b/c let's face it, cooking falls on me and creates lots more work for me. But we have cut back so much (only falling off the wagon every now and then like this past weekend when we ate out 5 times) and have found that we save a large amount of money by just having a whatever you want night at home for supper and everyone cleans their own mess. I also struggle with my kids not having the same items as the other kids at school. Yes, we can buy those things for them or put them on a credit card but we choose to give them what they need and be more cautious with giving them their wants. I can promise that our kids aren't hurting for anything.

I think that is the hardest thing about trying to be debt free....separating your wants from your needs. Yes you need to enjoy life. Eating out and splurging on a new pair of shoes makes us all happy temporarily but every month when you write out bills that are just your regular household bills and nothing more, it feels good to know that there is money left over for those extras that I wanted a week or two ago.

We have followed the Dave Ramsey program to a certain extent. Now that we are out of debt we are saving up a very good emergency fund before moving forward with our wants but even then our wants will be simple and nothing outrageous.

I am going to be the first to admit that letting go of the image that I wanted to uphold is hard. Everyone wants to look like they have a lot but really some of those people are drowning in debt. I have always said "how do they afford that house or that car" and later I will find out that they aren't affording it but have them telling me that they are struggling to keep it. It is sad to be in that place and at the mercy of a house payment or credit card bill.

I love my husband with all my heart. He has to remind me daily to trust him in this process and that it won't always be this way. He has lead us through the debt and out the other side. I have gotten mad and bitter at him at times but he deserves every ounce of the credit. We have recently been reminded of how awesome and stress free it is to be in this place that we are in right now and it is leaving me saying a whole lot of you were rights to my husband:)

Who Needs a Puppy?

2012-01-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

For the past 3 or 4 months I have really wanted a puppy. I have no idea why b/c I am not much of an animal lover. So far I haven't found a puppy that doesn't shed and can use the potty in the toilet. I kid about the toilet thing but dog poop does gross me out, especially when I step in it, see it or smell it. Seriously though, did you know that to get a dog that doesn't shed it will set you back a whole lot of money??? WOW....won't be going there anytime soon unless Rylee follows through with her promise of getting me one for Mother's Day.
None of that really matters anyways b/c I have my very own puppy dog already. That little puppy would be named Tegan:) I joked with my husband the other day telling him that if something happened to me I wasn't worried about him or Rylee but Tegan would never recover. He literally follows me all over this house. He makes every step I make. If I leave the house without him, he ask when I will be home over and over again. When we are play fighting, he totally licks my face just like a puppy. Gross I know but this is a great gross out tactic that my husband has taught my sweet boy to win a battle. He loves on me all the time and tells me that I am the sweetest mommy ever and he loves how I do everything he tells me too....wait, maybe me doing everything he tells me too is why he is a rotten little boy??? Uh, I just totally had an ah ha moment.
Anyways, the other day I was not feeling well with a headache. I was laying on the couch with a wet rag over my forehead and eyes. I was dosing in and out of sleep. When I woke up one time I felt Tegan holding my hand. I looked down in the floor beside the couch where he had brought his pillow and sleeping bag in the living room, made him a pallet in the floor right next to the couch and was laying there watching TV and holding my hand. Isn't that totally like a loyal little puppy that sleeps at the feet of his sick owner??? I mean really, Tegan doesn't shed and he poops in the potty. Maybe I will just start calling him my little puppy dog and start letting him sleep at the foot of my bed at night!!!

Enough Already!

2012-01-26T16:43:00.000-08:00

To say that I am living in rainy Georgia would be a total understatement. It has rained and rained and rained some more for the past couple of weeks. I am sure that everyone can relate to the feeling of the stir craziness that a lot of rain can do to a mommy with wild and crazy kids. The kids haven't been going outside for recess so when school lets out, Tegan has been like a caged animal let out to play. CLIMBING THE WALLS!! DRIVING ME NUTS....you know in a good kind of way:) Everything is just so yucky wet and to top it off one day it is hot rain and the next day it is cold. I think we are all a little tired of being trapped in side.
Gloomy weather just puts me in a blah type mood. I am so ready for sunshine, flip flops and vitamin D!

On a totally different note, gas is getting out of hand and I am screaming enough already as the dollar amount numbers flip and flip and flip on the gas pump. I just figured up that in exactly two weeks I have put $220 worth of gas in my SUV! TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS IN TWO WEEKS! Since my explorer is paid for, it is hard for me to get something more gas efficient but goodness gracious the gas pump is draining my bank account. I have been all over Auto Trader in search of a tiny little nice low mileage four door car that isn't 20 years old! Do you know how impossible that is??? Apparently people aren't selling their gas efficient cars.

Can you tell I am all over the place tonight! Oh well, at least you got a little update from me and now I will step down off of my negative soap box.

This Is Only for a Season....

2012-01-20T12:57:00.000-08:00

It seems like I never ever get a free second. If I am not at work, I am working on my business. If I am not working on my business, I am running my kids somewhere. If I am not running them somewhere, I am doing things for them. On top of that I am constantly cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, grocery shopping and loving my husband. I think you get the picture. So it doesn't come as a surprise to me that I am a little overwhelmed with all the activities that are slowly adding to my schedule.
Rylee has started her second session of gymnastics once a week. This past week she auditioned (like a for real audition) for a play that will be put on for the public in our town. She got a part or several parts. That is a wonderful thing and we are all so excited about it except the fact that she will have play practice 3 nights a week, 2 hours a night for THREE months! Then on top of those two things we will be adding t-ball for Tegan to the schedule in March. Yep...that schedule makes me throw up in my mouth a little:)
I have worried about how my husband and I will keep up with everything and not make our kids feel like their activities are a burden to us. I keep reminding myself that this is just a season. In fact, I am sure that the next several years will be busier than I have ever been and busier than I will ever be. One day things will slow down. One day I will sit down and watch TV again without multitasking. One day I will wonder where all the time has gone and how my kids got that big so fast. But for today I will try to enjoy the moment and the season that I am in for it won't last as long as I think it will!

A Very Happy Girl!

2012-01-14T19:54:00.000-08:00

This was the very first year ever that we decided not to do a big birthday party for Rylee. I thought she would miss the party or be a little upset but that wasn't the case at all. I made a huge effort to make this birthday just as special as one with a big party and I think I was very successful as she has said over and over again that this was the very best birthday EVER!!!

The night before her birthday I decorated her door just after she went to bed. She thought it was the coolest thing ever!

I took her some cupcakes to school on her birthday so that she got to have a small celebration with her classmates. Her actual birthday was on Wed. so we took her out to Outback for dinner and I slaved away in the kitchen to make the requested doughnut cake.....or at least someone at Krispy Kreme slaved away making the doughnuts, I just stacked them:)

If your kid loves doughnuts, this is the best idea ever. I bought 2 dozen doughnuts and they were all gone by the finish of breakfast the next morning. I wish I could take credit for this but this was all Ry's idea!

Normally we don't get her much for her birthday b/c we are shelling out tons of money on a party but this year we got her a black bookcase and canvas bins that she had asked for. She also asked for a bag full of surprises so that is exactly what she got!

On Friday night she had her very best friend come over to spend the night with her so that she could help us celebrate Rylee's birthday on Saturday. They played hard and there was some pretty intense dancing going on to Just Dance.

This morning we got up early (a lot earlier than I wanted on a Saturday:) and headed out for a surprise breakfast. I told her that she was going to get to go somewhere fancy but I wouldn't give her any clues. Emma and Tegan didn't know either so they were just as shocked! She always loves to ride past a place up the interstate called Chateau Elan. It is a winery but looks like a huge castle. She has always been fascinated with that place. A while back we actually drove up the driveway but never got out. Well today when we got off the exit she started telling Emma to look b/c we were about to pass the castle. The look on her face was priceless when we turned in to the driveway and she realized that this was where she was going for breakfast....

All three kids were so excited and I don't think they believed us at first. Once we walked down the grand staircase (the people there kept calling it that), I think they finally believed us. The breakfast was a awesome breakfast buffet complete with all your usual breakfast favorites, a fruit bar and a full service omelet station. They put us at a table that looked like it was made just for a birthday girl! Everything was so fancy, which if you know Rylee, she is totally fancy. The girls smiled the whole time they ate. Tegan was excited but he was way more excited about the fact that he was sitting next to his Emma.

After we ate they let use wonder around a little. How many of you got to run around and do cartwheels on the lawn of a castle today?

None....you should try it!

Tegan loves Emma to pieces! He is in his glory when he is right in the middle of these two girls!

After leaving "The Castle", we headed to Mall of Georgia and went to Build-A-Bear. Now I know you are thinking that Rylee is a little to old for this but she picked it as the one thing she wanted to do for her birthday and I didn't feel so bad when there was a 14 year old in there building a bear for her birthday! Apparently we have deprived her and not taken her to do it before today and she just couldn't live another day without her bear. Unfortunately, I got tired of carrying around my big camera at this point and there are no pictures of it b/c we are tight wads and don't have smart phones to take pictures with.

All three kids loved it! It was a really great day. Tegan was on his very best behavior. Rylee was so thankful for all that we did for her this birthday. Emma said it was the best birthday party ever. She also said that eating at Chateau Elan was way better than eating with a princess at a Disney castle b/c those castles aren't real like Chateau Elan is:)

Today we made such great memories with our kids and Emma.

Today is brought to you by the number NINE

2012-01-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

I can not even believe that I am about to say this but Happy 9th Birthday to my precious baby girl!!!

It seems like these last nine years have just flown by.

We seem to be entering a whole new world of changes when it comes to Rylee. The first major thing (which really isn't that major) about her is that she has always been in love with the color pink....apparently nine year olds are to old for pink. That's OK though b/c I am loving the blues and greens that she is currently obsessed with. Another really big change is that while she is still a super sweet girl, she is trying to assert her independence more and thinks that she should question everything we tell her or ask her to do.

But all in all, Rylee is still as sweet as ever.

Her awesomeness goes far beyond anything that I can take responsibility for. She has pure talent and there is no doubt that she didn't get that from us.

She has amazing people skills. In fact, most adults are shocked at how grown up she is in conversation with them. But the very best thing about my girl is that she has a heart of gold. She really feels everything that is around her. She worries about hurting other people's feelings and tries her best to be a wonderful person at all times.

I have said this before and will say it again....whatever I did to be blessed with this girl, I am thankful for it. I pray for her daily that she has peace, courage and faith and so far, the good Lord has not let me down.

Here are some highlights of Rylee's 8th year:

1. She came to us shortly after turning 8 and asked if she could be baptized. Watching that moment was one of the proudest moments of my life.

2. She played a season of soccer. She got out there and did a great job in every game but after the last game of the season, she basically said that was nice and was ready to hang up her shin guards:(

3. She completed 2nd grade with multiple awards.

4. Third grade has been a super easy adjustment for her.

5. She started gymnastics and has found a sport that she really loves.

6. She is obsessed with exercise which translates in to her forcing me to exercise with her.

7. She is very helpful at home. One of the most helpful things that she takes pride in is that she sets her own alarm clock, gets up in the mornings, gets her brother and us up, and then gets ready for school. She even gives Tegan a quick breakfast some mornings:) (I'm not sure if that make her look good or me look bad???)

Rylee is such a special child! I know all moms say this but I see that girl doing something great! Even though I am sad to see her growing up so much, I am also very excited to see what she will do in life. Every day that the good Lord allows me to have this girl, is a very blessed day!

Happy Birthday my baby girl! You will never know how much you mean to me!

2012 Goals

2012-01-01T14:06:00.000-08:00

I know it is totally lame but I seriously always do feel some sense of renewal when a new year begins. I love the thought of looking ahead and not behind...even though I am not always good at it. I always set up "goals" instead of calling them resolutions. This year, most of my goals are things that I have had in mind and have already been doing for the past several months.
1. Simplify my life....by this I mean everything. I want less stuff in my house. I want less stuff on my schedule. I want to live simple.
2. I want to make my business in to so much more than anyone believes I can. I have a goal to be providing for my family and living strictly off of my business by this time next year.
3. I want to relax and enjoy life more. I want to take more time to just sit and play or talk to my children.

Those are my goals for this year! This morning we went to church (not a better way to start the year) and in our church bulletin, there was something I loved and wanted to share.
Happy New Year
Happiness depends upon your outlook on life.
Attitude is just as important as ability.
Passion find yours this year!!
Positive thoughts make everything easier.
You are unique, with special gifts, use them.

New beginnings with a new year.
Enthusiasm is a true secret to success.
Wishes...may they turn into goals.

Years go by too quickly, enjoy them.
Energy may you have lots of it.
Appreciation of life, don't take it for granted.
Relax, take the time to relax in the coming year.

These are words to LIVE by! May you all look for time to relax, have positive thoughts, use your gifts and appreciate everyday of life that you are given....I know I am sure going to try to do all of these things!

Saying Goodbye to 2011

2011-12-31T20:45:00.000-08:00

I would have to say that 2011 has been one of the better years that I have had during my adult life. Nothing big or traumatic happened which is not something I could say for other years. I wanted to remember some of my favorite moments of 2011 so I decided since this is my blog, I can list them here:)
1. Rylee made the decision to be baptized.
2. I started a new job.
3. I also started a new and totally awesome business. I feel so blessed to have this business!
4. We celebrated 10 years of marriage.
5. We became debt free thanks to my wonderful, dedicated and determined husband.
6. Tegan had eye surgery....a somewhat successful eye surgery!
7. Rylee started gymnastics and has finally found something that she loves.
8. We had a great family vacation just the four of us.

Those are just some of the great memories I have of this year. We have had a year full of picking ourselves up by our boot straps. We have had a better financial year than most but not b/c it was given to us but b/c of hard work and sacrifice. We have been blessed with great health for all four of us. We have everything we need right here in this house. Though I am very happy with my life, I refuse to feel content and to become complacent. I am striving for a another year full of more blessings than ever!

I pray you all have a blessed and happy New Year. I hope that no matter what this past year has brought your way, you can find a way to grasp a positive attitude and head in to 2012 expecting more and expecting better!

Etsy shop update

2011-12-29T19:49:00.000-08:00

Paper Pretty Designs has really been such a blessing to me. I just can't even believe how well it has been doing in such a short amount of time. I hope and pray everyday that my business continues to grow and becomes a very stable source of income for us. I tell you, it was very nice to not have to use our regular paycheck money to buy Christmas this year....Christmas was fully funded by Paper Pretty Designs. While things are going great, it is still hard to predict how many sales I will have in a month and I am still learning so much about this business as I go. I have a really big short term goal to hopefully expand my business even more so that things are going great by the end of May...when the kids get out of school:)

I am working on lots of new invitations and cards for the shop but tonight I have freshened up the look a little. It is always sad to me to take down Christmas decorations in my house and I have to admit, it is just as sad to take down all my Christmas cards from my shop along with my holiday header. I created something simple and basic to freshen things up a bit. I am tired of looking at lots of bright stuff all the time.

I am so excited about the direction that my business is taking me in. I thank everyone for your support so far and in the future. If you ever need a card, invitation, cupcake toppers, party favor tags,etc...please check out Paper Pretty Designs. Also, if you have a blog and would allow me to post the 2nd picture posted above on your blog that would link to my shop as advertisement, I would love you forever!

The Aftermath...

2011-12-29T09:36:00.000-08:00

Santa was very good to the kids this year. I am almost certain that he brought all of that awesome stuff to Tegan just b/c he felt bad for him. Whew...what a great and cute little handful of a boy that I have. Christmas came in like a tornado and is now behind us. We had my family Christmas at my mom's on Friday night, lunch on Saturday with Paul's extended family, we went to Waffle House for supper just the four of us Saturday night (a new tradition of ours), did Santa Sunday morning, went to my MIL's for breakfast and then had my dad and siblings over to our house Sunday night. Wow...what a crazy weekend. It was very nice but man I was tired after it was all over plus I have been battling a cold for about a week and a half now.
Things haven't really slowed down since and I have been having to work this week. On top of all that, my etsy invitation/card business has been doing great. Invitations and party planning must be on the mind of most. For me...a slow day with nothing to do is on my mind. I guess a girl can dream. We have done a little after Christmas shopping with our gift cards...My husband can shop when he really wants to:)

On a different note, I am trying to get the house put back together and even trying to organize it a little better than normal....That is a battle that I am presently losing!!!

What did she forget....Christmas Part 1

2011-12-23T20:50:00.000-08:00

We started our Christmas celebrations tonight. We always have to do my side of the family early or late b/c with five of us kids(all married with our own kids) it can be hard to find a free moment on the actual holiday.

I worked hard today making some yummy treats that I found on pinterest. They were a huge hit. In fact, everything that I took got wiped out!

This was my yummy sweets tray!

These little pretzel snacks are the perfect combo of sweet and salty. I found these on pinterest and they are so super easy to make. You use mini pretzels, Hershey kisses and m&ms. Just place your Hershey kiss on top of each pretzel. Place in the oven at 275 for just a few minutes. Remove and push in the M&M. Easy and awesome is totally my style:)

I also got the idea for these brownie bites off of pinterest but I think I didn't do them the way they said. That didn't really matter though b/c everyone loved them and I am pretty sure my niece Addison will be up with a belly ache tonight b/c she probably downed about 5 of these things! All you do is use a regular box brownie mix. Don't cook completely....just about 15 minutes. I cooked them in a mini cupcake pan. When the toothpick in the middle trick comes out still a little wet, just take a butter knife and put a small slit in the top. Melt regular peanut butter for 45 seconds in the microwave. Take a teaspoon and ooze a little peanut butter on top. Then top with peanut butter and chocolate chips.

I had to put both of these desserts in the refrigerator for just a few minutes so that the chocolate would set and not make a huge mess.

Any who...we are a family of 26 strong when we get together. This is just my Mom, step dad, siblings and their families. It is loud, chaotic and crazy but we have fun no doubt. My main finger food dish aside from sweet stuff was crock pot cheese dip. I got all the way over to my mom's when I remembered that I didn't bring chips for the cheese dip. My sweet husband made a quick Walmart run which was totally crazy being a Friday night before Christmas weekend at 6:00 PM. I double checked all my stuff but the chips never crossed my mind. The food got all ate up, the presents for the kids were exchanged and lots of fun talk went on. I didn't hardly get any pictures at all b/c for the first time in a long time I just wanted to sit back and enjoy being with my family.

I packed everything up to leave, checked to make sure I had every thing and we headed home. Half way home I remembered that I had taken off my wedding rings while washing the dishes and I left them by my mom's kitchen sink. I am not usually the dish washer over there and I had to laugh and say that I was being punished for trying to help out a little more this year:) So we turned around and headed back. Tegan's comment was that we were about to have to start all over again.

Everyone is in bed and knocked out at my house right now. Tomorrow is another big day with a lunchtime family gathering and then our own family of four adventure before preparing for Santa to come. No worries....I'm keeping my finger food contributions simple tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to remember everything.

But I Love Her!!!

2011-12-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

Tegan's all time favorite hobby is to drive his sister bonkers. Rylee spends most her days at home in her bedroom b/c Tegan is going to aggravate the pee out of her without a doubt. It must be a boy thing b/c I don't remember doing this at all to any of my older three siblings but I do remember my brother, the youngest of five, doing it to me:)

He is known to be sitting still watching TV and notice that Rylee isn't paying attention to him, that is when he makes his move. He will sneak right up with the remote in hand and BAM....knocks the crap out of her. I can't tell you how many times I have chased him down after he has done something like this to her. He is a runner for sure! Poor kid doesn't know that running makes me even more mad!!!

His latest attempt to drive his sister crazy is by invading her bedroom. You see, ever since that kid could crawl we have had a baby gate up at her door. I guess that when your mischievous child is over four years old and in the 85th percentile for his height, a baby gate will no longer stop him. He scales that thing like a cat climbing a tree. Funny thing is that he doesn't do it while she is in there. He sits back waiting for her to leave her room. I mean, the girl has to eventually come out for a bathroom break. He pounces and grabs every opportunity that he can find. Then it starts...."GET OUT OF MY ROOM", "MAMA HE WON'T GET OUT", "STOP TOUCHING MY STUFF", etc... The only response he has is "BUT I LOVE HER AND WANT TO BE WITH HER". Seriously, how in the world do you argue with that. I will tell you how....you look at your mom with your big brown eyes and say "DON'T LET HIM BUTTER YOU UP. JUST GET HIM OUT." Oh me, I still have many years ahead of me in this department but for now I think it is time to burn the baby gates:)

54489-390-6C3E26CF90C658DBE4CF4E5351CEC271

DEAR SANTA/MOMMY....

2011-12-22T13:09:00.000-08:00

I let Rylee play around on my computer for a little while today. She had been typing something but I didn't think anything of it. Well when I sat back down at my computer a little while later this was typed in word and left on my screen...

Rylee Taylor Minish

I am Rylee Taylor minish and I am so excited about Christmas. There so much I really want. Can you guess what I want the most? Well it Has many keys that have letters on them. You can do so much with it. You can get on many web sites with it. If you guessed a lap top then you are right!

There are so many reasons why I want a lap top. I can get on a lot of web sites. And I can do a lot on it.

MOMMY PLEASE TELL ME SANTA WILL GET ME A LAP TOP

PLEASE! I REALLY WANT ONE.

I <3 YOU MOMMY SO MUCH!

YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY EVER IF YOU GET SANTA TO GET ME ONE

I WILL LOVE YOU FOR EVER WELL I WOULD ALL READY DO THAT ANYWAY SO. SO ANY WAY PLEASE GET SANTA’S ELVS TO MAKE ME ONE.YOU ARE THE BEST MOMMY EVER. OK WE BOTH KNOW THAT I AM JUST KISSING UP TO YOU TO ASK SANTA IF HIS ELVS CAN MAKE ME A LAP TOP. MAN THERE I GO AGIN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ALL I LITTLE RYLEE REALLY WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS IS A LAP TOP.OH MY GOSH I JUST DID IT AGIN CAN YOU BELIVE ME OK NOW WE KNOW I AM JUST PLAE OUT CRAZY. OK SO BACK TO THE LAP TOP. IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME IF JOLLY OL ST NICK AKA SANTA COULD BRING ME RYLEE MINISH A LAP TOP. I WOULD LOVE YOU AND THE LAP TOP FOREVER.AND THE GOOD THING IS THAT YOU DADDY AND ME WILL ALL HAVE LAP TOPS SO THAT IS GOOD AND TEGAN MITE EVEN HAVE AN I TOUCH SO HE WILL NOT BOTHER US WILE WE ARE ON OUR LAP TOPS SO THAT IS ALSO REALLY GOOD. THE GIRL THAT LOVES YOU SO MUCH RYLEE.

Our Christmas Card...

2011-12-20T13:32:00.000-08:00

Next year I plan to put a little more thought in to my Christmas card. I know, it is crazy that I own a little card business and wasn't very happy with my own card. I was so busy doing for others that there was just not much time to come up with something original for myself. We had some really awesome family pictures made this year. I loved them so much and wanted to put some family shots on our Christmas card. Well my dear husband was determined that he wasn't going to have a picture of himself on the card. He hates having his picture made but does it for me. Apparently he draws the line at plastering it all over lots of Christmas cards and mailing it out for others to see:) He threatened to never agree to have his picture made again if I put him on the card. So this is the Christmas card I sent out....

Albeit cute, just not exactly what I was going for!

This is the Christmas card that I begged and pleaded with him to let me send out...

I lost! But he didn't say anything about me not posting it on my blog:)

Merry Christmas everyone!

One More Week!!

2011-12-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to believe that pretty soon I will be thinking of all my goals and resolutions for the year of 2012. It is so true that the older we get, the faster time goes by.

Today has been a great and calm day. Besides a few gift cards, all the Christmas shopping is done. I am slowly but surely cleaning up the house and getting it in order. That has been pretty hard to do b/c my husband is working on a project in our bathroom so there is a mess going on in there and in our bedroom. I am also taking my time and wrapping a few presents here and there but I seem to be making lots and lots of progress. School is out for the kids until after the first of the year. All the Christmas program practices at church are behind us....and the program its self. The mad Christmas card rush in my shop is slowing a little although the shower and birthday invitations seem to be picking back up.

We purposely didn't plan anything this weekend b/c we figured that we would be going last minute Christmas shopping but this determine lady has defeated the shopping this year and I'm pretty proud of all my loot. So today has been one of getting things done around the house and taking our kids to the movies. I awoke to a nice quiet house. I haven't felt all that great and my body appreciated the sleep. My sweet husband had gotten the kids up at 7 AM and taken them for doughnuts and to pick me out something for Christmas from them. Very sweet of him!
This was Tegan's very first movie theater experience and although he did great, he didn't get the concept of why he couldn't talk really loud during the movie. All he wanted to do was ask questions about the movie but he is a loud child. We went to see Aurthur Christmas. It is a super cute Christmas movie, I highly recommend it. Rylee was so excited and she said that she enjoyed our first ever movie experience all together. She is so funny b/c Paul and I hadn't even realized that usually just one of us takes her to the movies while the other one stays behind with Teg. She has had a rough past two days and seems to be needing some affirmation again about who is there for her. She wants all of us to be together. So you can imagine she didn't like it that we split up after the movie, she went with her daddy and I took Tegan with me. She had bought Teg something for Christmas with her own money so Teg was asking me to take him to get her something from him. He did a great job picking it out and Rylee was so glad to see us make it back home so quick. Poor little girl.
I am just hoping that tomorrow will be another day of getting things done around the house. I would like to have the whole house cleaned and all the presents wrapped by bedtime tomorrow night. I work three days this week and would love to just relax and enjoy Thurs and Fri off with the kids.

Ok....now here are a few pictures I have to show off from the Christmas program. Both kids did great! As always, Rylee didn't hold back when singing and did great. I just have to brag about Teg also...he did wonderful for a four year old little boy. He wasn't shy about standing on stage and singing. You could hear him over all the other kids in his age group. I was a very proud mama!!!

To top it off they got to see Santa at the end of the night!

It was a great program and all the kids did so good. Poor Rylee was so exhausted b/c we didn't have a free second all that weekend. She couldn't even make it to school on Monday. She woke up with a little cold but I think mostly she was just to tired to do anything. After a day of rest she was good to go.

Of course now I am having some sort of crud/sore throat thing going on. I made fun last night with my facebook status saying that I was keeping with Christmas tradition by being sick with just enough time for me to get better and for my kids to catch it and be sick on Christmas. I really hope that is not the case and hope we have a healthy Christmas. But if we don't, we will still have fun!!!

A Ribbon Wreath

2011-12-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

I was wanting something simple for my front door and saw some cute ideas while searching on the Internet. Of course I found what I was looking for on pinterest:)

Source: thespeckleddog.blogspot.com via Tabatha on Pinterest

Let me just say that making this was easy but I did end up with a whole lot of hot glue on my finger nails. I have a love/hate relationship with a hot glue gun:)

I had lots of ribbon laying around so I didn't have to go buy any but it took a lot more ribbon than I thought it would. I saw a way on pinterest to get a super cheap wreath form using foam plumbing tubing from Home Depot.

Source: thepennyparlor.com via Tabatha on Pinterest

After lots of HOT GLUE and burning the tips of my fingers up, I got this

Then I felt like it needed a little something more so I added a dollar tree bow to it:) I think I am going to make me one of these for every season!!!

I love Christmas and all that goes with it!!!

Gearing up for Christmas....

2011-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

Oh my....I have shopped and shopped and shopped and am still not done but boy have I had fun!!! My husband and I have been married for nearly 11 years and during that time he has always bought pretty much all the Christmas gifts that we have ever given. What can I say, I'm not great at saving up money like he is:) He hates to spend money so it seems that having to buy all the presents leaves him acting like a bit of a scrooge. Well this year my goal was to change that. My little invitation business has been doing pretty good and has pretty much funded Christmas this year. It has been awesome to take that stress off of my husband and even better for me....the girl who doesn't have to ask her husband for shopping money:) Since Christmas is my absolute favorite day ever, I hope my husband can now enjoy this day with me instead of dreading it!

I got a pretty slow start on my shopping. Both kids have asked for at least one pretty expensive but yet small in size item from Santa. As always, it has been way to easy for me to shop for Rylee and now I am having to stop buying her gifts and catch up on Tegan. I am so close to the finish line but then someone has to wrap all these presents!!!

I have probably went a little overboard this year on my kid's Christmas. We usually set a budget but this year I just didn't want to do that. When I think back over the last several years, there hasn't been much buying of extras for our children. Yes, we always give them what they need but we haven't exactly been in the position to buy them things they long for. In fact, other than clothes at season change, I can't tell you the last time I bought a fun item or toy for my kids. We are also going to do a few fun Christmas and other activities with them over the next couple of weeks....again this is something we haven't had the luxury of doing pretty much since I went out of work when pregnant with Tegan.

Don't get me wrong, things can still be pretty tight and we aren't going crazy but just trying to enjoy the season and make memories with our babies while we can! I don't think I have ever looked so forward to Christmas in my adult life as I am this year!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-30T20:18:00.000-08:00

Back to Basics!!!

2011-11-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

I love creating personalized party invites and decorations! It really is so much fun to do and has become a huge addictive creative outlet for me. I decided to start working on a more basic and affordable type of party package for those who want all the WOW but without all the crazy cost. So a new little section in my etsy shop was born....Back To Basics. The idea is that these are designed and ready to email to you in less than 24 hours. You fill in your invite and thank you cards. I plan to make lots of different packs of these to offer. The best part about these is that they are cheap and you will be able to print as many as you want and/or need. The invitations alone are only $5. A party package that includes the invitation, thank you card, party favor tags and cupcake toppers is only $10. I am very excited about creating a whole different section while still creating new personalized party invitations and decorations!

Also, don't forget that if you haven't already found your perfect Christmas card design at least look through all of my Christmas cards that I have spent hours and hours creating:) You can find a full list of them at Paper Pretty Designs.

Also become a fan of my Paper Pretty Facebook page for great deals, giveaways and freebies!

BLACK FRIDAY BEGINNER!

2011-11-25T19:31:00.000-08:00

Wow! That is all I can say about black Friday shopping! I have never really went Black Friday shopping. I'm not sure what made me decide to do it this year but I have to say that I LOVED it! Crazy isn't it!!! My sister got to my house around 8:45 and we headed out to meet two of my friends in Athens.
We were really stupid for deciding to head in to the thick of it at Walmart....but we did it anyways. It was packed. The worst part was that even though the sales didn't start until 10:00 and 12:00, they had already let people load up their carts with stuff but just not check out. They had also given out all of the tickets for electronics by the time we got there. I was on the hunt for a good deal on a big ticket item b/c that is on the top of my daughter's Christmas list. Well...that idea was out the window once we walked in to Walmart. But we didn't let the madness stop us. We walked around and grabbed what we could. Eventually we had to head to the laundry baskets to get them to use to carry our stuff b/c all the carts were being used....every single one of them. We got some really good deals there, checked out quick and darted off for Target. Target didn't open until 12 but when we got there the line was across the entire front of Target, all the way around the parking lot and down the driveway to the main highway. We decided to get in line but it really wasn't that bad. We stood there about 30 minutes but once they started letting people in, it took no time. Target was WONDERFUL compared to Walmart. It was very organized and not all that crazy stuff going on in there. Even though 100's of people went in before us, we were still all able to get our hands on pretty much everything we were going for. The line to check out was super long but they had it all figured out and it took no time to get to check out and be on our way. We headed to a couple of other places in Athens but there wasn't much luck. Then my sister's phone started ringing at 3:00 AM. When she got off the phone she said her daughter just told her that the Walmart in a near by town had about 36 of the electronics that had been sold out at the first Walmart we went to. She said they were just sitting in the back near the layaway area. We took off for Commerce. Walked right in to a very dead Walmart and were able to get our hands on two of the awesome electronics that people had been waiting hours for earlier in the night.

One thing I learned is that there is no way you can go do this by yourself. We would all mention a few things to each other that we wanted and we would try to grab it for each other. We would all share one cart so that we weren't battling to get four carts through the crowd. Teaming up is the only way to get your hands on the things you want. The second biggest thing that I learned was that if Walmart is starting their sales at a certain time, I will go 3 to 4 hours later b/c when we walked in the dead Walmart at 4:00 AM it pretty much looked like lots of stuff had been restocked. They said it was super crazy at that Walmart earlier but when we got there, they still had tons and tons of stuff.

I think I was to nice of a black Friday shopper b/c I would say excuse me, please and thank you but it made for a much better night for me! I went on this little shopping trip with a positive outlook and didn't care if I got my hands on any of the things I had in mind. I refuse to fight over stuff. Instead of being grumpy, I stayed happy and ended up getting exactly what I went for. I am very excited and can't wait for next year! This is my new tradition! I will be dragging these ladies back out again next year but I may just sleep until 2:00 AM and then get a start....let the crowds go ahead and kill each other before I get in the mix:)

After shopping from 9:00 PM to 5:00 AM....I was so tired but that won't stop me from looking forward to it next year!!! Happy Black Friday! I hope you are all in the Christmas spirit. When shopping this holiday season don't be rude, grumpy and in poor spirits. When you are positive and happy, you will enjoy it more and you might just get super good deals on exactly what you need or want!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

2011-11-24T06:28:00.000-08:00

I have been watching people on facebook count their blessings this whole month. These days I am pretty much thankful for any and everything! But most importantly I am thankful for my family....

I hope you all have a very blessed and full (in many ways) Thanksgiving with the ones you love!!!

Happy Turkey Week!!!!

2011-11-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

I just love the holidays and to me Thanksgiving day is the big kick off. The same old song and dance has been going on around here....we are running from one place to the other and never ever relaxing. I was so looking forward to Thanksgiving week b/c it was suppose to mean that I would have 4 straight days off of work and be able to have some down time. Um, not so much. Thursday will be spent at cooking and going to one and hosting another Thanksgiving meal. Then I will be heading out for a night full of shopping with two of my favorites....or as long as my preggo friend can make it:) I'm sure she will last longer than my tired behind. That means that Friday will consist of lots of sleeping and then I will be putting up the Christmas tree with the kiddos. My husband usually just watches that part! Then Saturday is a full day of photo sessions. I will be starting at 9 and going through 3. Then I have to rush home, fix more food and head over to my Mom's for our late Thanksgiving. Then Sunday there is church, more pictures and hanging of the greens at church. I am so tired just thinking about the next four days but I'm sure I will survive. There are a whole lot worse things in life than being busy!!!

This brings me to another point. I have a friend that could really use lots of prayers right now. She has been diagnosed with a terrifying disease just a few short weeks after delivering her third child. Her and her family could really use lots of prayers and lots of lifting up during this time!!!!

I am looking forward to a great and healthy holiday with my family and my husband's family! I haven't gotten to see all of my siblings and their little ones that much lately so I am ready for that. I have lots to be thankful for and excited for all the things to come!!!

Happy Turkey week to everyone!!!

This picture says it all....

2011-11-20T20:30:00.000-08:00

This boy loves his Mama!

We had family pictures made today and I am so excited to see all of them. The above picture was just my teaser along with two really awesome pictures of Rylee! I can't wait to see them. Oh and don't worry, I got a special picture made with Rylee also. Although I am very excited about all the family pictures we took, I am most excited to see the pictures she did of just Paul and I. She did several of us which isn't something we have really had done since our wedding day. I will post more as soon as I get the CD with all of them on it! She was so great and made the whole "picture process" so much better for my husband whom hates to have his picture made!

Hope you guys are having a great November. Time is just slipping away from me and I can't keep up. I'm sorry, I promise to update more even if it is just short little post!

This Little Girl of Mine...

2011-11-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

My little girl is so sweet. She is very different than most other 8, almost 9, year old kidsthat you will meet. She is level headed, very compassionate to others and never gets in trouble. This time last year she was having a rough time. She seemed uncomfortable in her own skin. She seemed a little lost and was terrified that something bad was going to happen. She could see that she was losing her grip on a relationship with someone that she cherished. More recently she went through a rough patch with some girls at school. Her tender heart has a very hard time with what she feels like is rejection.

But lately I have saw something different. She is really growing up on me. She is still the same levelheaded, tenderhearted, strong and compassionate girl as always but she seems to be learning how to appreciate her relationships. For a while she seemed to blame a big change in her life on us, her parents but the reality is that we had nothing to do with it. In the past month I have watched her realize that we are here and never ever going to leave her. No one will ever step in front of her and Tegan. She has stopped questioning us and started talking to us. She tells us how much she appreciates us and the things we do for her. She leaves little notes for us around the house all the time.

I told her the other day to never stop doing this! Whether it be for me, her daddy, her brother, her future husband, her own children.... These little notes mean so much to me!

She is comfortable with herself again but most importantly she knows that her and her brother will always be first in our lives and we will never let anyone take that away! She has decided that if people don't want to be close to her then that is their loss and I couldn't agree more b/c this little girl is special. She is going to do great things!!!

Cheater, Cheater, Potato Soup Eater!!

2011-11-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying that if you are a self proclaimed kitchen queen (unlike myself), you may want to stop reading here. I have been trying for YEARS to make potato soup. I have been a huge failure at this over and over again. It is either too thick, too thin, nasty tasting, scorched the bottom of my pan, etc …..
Last week I was at the grocery store and I remembered my coworker talking about a crock pot potato soup that she had found on pinterest. I text her to get the ingredients while I was at the grocery store. As the text came through, the list seemed long and I could see so many ways that I would screw this up. Not to mention it was going to kill my shopping budget. I was standing on the soup isle and look up to see dry creamy potato soup in a bag. I was very very hesitant to buy it but at a little over $3, it was totally worth a try. I was definitely sold on it when I read that all I had to do was add water. I mean seriously, it would be very hard for me to screw this one up.
Tonight was the big night to try it. It totally helped that the same coworker that made the Crockpot soup and had raved about it, had been raving all morning about finding this soup in a bag and kept talking about how awesome it was!
I have to say that this one was a WINNER!!!! I will forever have a bag of this brand soup in my cabinet for those nights that I don’t feel like cooking a huge meal. It took 15 to 20 minutes at the most to make. I only had the one pot, a few bowls and a few spoons to clean afterward. This is my kind of meal.
I’m not sure if every grocery store carries it but I got mine at Ingles. It has to be this brand soup…

They also have other choices like chicken noodle, broccoli & cheddar, cheesy potato soup, and more that I plan to try. I didn’t get the cheesy b/c my dear husband isn’t crazy about a lot of cheese. So I thought I would just get the creamy kind and add my own shredded cheese to it once I had dipped up my bowl. I had some real bacon bit pieces in the refrigerator so I added those to my bowl of soup. Let me just say….I am in LOVE!

Here is the deal….you bring 8 cups of water to a boil, whisk in the soup, lower heat and let it simmer for 15 minutes while stirring occasionally. I had to stir mine pretty often b/c it kept getting a film over the top of it if I didn’t.
There is just nothing better than a super easy, super quick, super cheap and super yummy meal! Enjoy!

My Newly Recovered Old Loveseat

2011-11-01T13:00:00.000-07:00

My addiction to pinterest is a great one! It is very inspiring and has me cooking different things, wearing different outfits and creating a few things also. I saw a post on reupholstering a couch recently on pinterest and it totally inspired me to possibly do this for my own couch or love seat. So I went to Home Depot and bought two big drop cloths at $10 each. I came home and stood there scratching my head trying to figure out where to begin while my husband looked at me like I had gone crazy for attempting this project. I dropped the whole staple gun idea and went back to my sewing roots. After spending every free minute of my entire weekend, almost admitting defeat and having a near meltdown....I did it! Let me just say that this wasn't easy at all. It is very far from perfect ....very far! But it makes me happy! I still have to get some snaps to tighten up the back of the cushion covers but I wanted to go ahead and show a picture of the transformation.....

I left a flap on the couch cushions so that I could remove the covers and wash them if I need to but that is making them move around a little so I am going to get some snap closures to hold it tight on the back. I just love it!

At one time I had some very dark brown slipcovers on both the love seat and the couch. Then I took the cover off of this love seat and just had it on the couch b/c my couch and love seat totally do not match. Now I am able to finally get rid of the couch slipcover b/c it has the same cream colored base as my new drop cloth covered love seat!

I don't think you can beat a $20 furniture makeover!!!

Still here!

2011-10-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

I promise I am still alive and kicking. Things have just been super busy and I have been making a sad attempt to stay off of the computer during certain times of the day....pretty much once my kids are home from school, until they go to bed (I am a constant failure at that). Anyways, until I can get on here and really do a post, I want to share this article that I saw posted on facebook by a friend. It is very touching, heartbreaking and totally eye opening.

Just click right HERE!

Hope you are having a great week as I am rounding out a very crazy past two weeks!!!

They call it the Kestenbaum Sugery b/c it is the BOMB!!!

2011-10-14T19:10:00.000-07:00

Ha....that title could mean so many things. The surgery that Sweet T recently had is called the Kestenbaum Surgery. As most of you know, it is a double eye turn surgery. In one way it was not the bomb but like a darn boom. Poor little fellow really struggled for a few days after having that surgery. But in so many other ways I would say the surgery is THE BOMB!

On Thursday we headed out to Atlanta to see Teg's doctor. Even though I was a little anxious (just b/c that is what I do whenever I am leaving my house:), I was very at peace b/c I knew that there was going to be nothing but great feedback from her.

Tegan's eyes are still bloodshot and probably will be for a good while. She said that hopefully they will be cleared all the way up by February....WOW! When she measured his head tilt before surgery, he was turning his head 35 degrees to the left side. That is a very huge head tilt and one that would lead to a very painful neck problem in his future. As of yesterday he is measuring at a 10 to 15 degree head tilt. That is a significant difference. It will make a world of difference for him pain wise and socially! To be honest, I don't notice him tilting it a lot so either a 10 degree head tilt isn't that much or he doesn't do it all the time. She said that for right now, that is as good as it gets because of his age and how short the eyes muscles are at this point in his life. She said that she couldn't have asked for better results. When placing his muscles back to his eyes, she went as extreme as she could and so far so good. Although I was terrified, Dr. Amy Hutchinson at Emory has been such a blessing. It is hard to trust the judgement of others when it comes to your child...especially his eyes. When researching her and getting a second opinion before surgery, we were pretty much told that if we were going to let our son have this surgery, she is the one to do it. I have been so thankful that in the beginning of this whole process, 4 years ago, the hand above placed us in the perfect place for our son to get all the help he could.

I'm not sure I ever want to watch Tegan go through something like that again but so far I am glad we did it. His eyes will continue to heal and hopefully continue to improve for a very long time. In the words of Dr. Hutchinson, "this surgery is a really big surgery and a really big deal". Since there is so much more healing to do, I really do believe that Tegan's nystagmus and head tilt can completely go away but if not, I am just praising God that he can see, walk, run & play!!!

Much love to all of you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the prayers for my little man!

Forever Changed....

2011-10-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

On this day, five years ago, I said hello and good bye to my precious baby boy. Today I feel peaceful, sad, blessed, and raw. In the past five years I have been up and down. I have been in and out of every emotion you can imagine. Time may have helped me learn to deal with things but time sure hasn’t made me forget!

Today I am experiencing some sort of writers block. My flow for words, especially on this subject, seems to be totally blocked. I have prayed hard for the past few days for a peaceful and numb day today...I think the good Lord gave me exactly what I asked for. Yes, I have cried, hurt and been sad but I have also laughed, worked and went on with my normal everyday stuff. My God has blessed me with exactly what I needed today!

Dear Cohen,

Today I am closer to seeing you again than I have ever been before. Today is my day to cry. This is the time that I let myself go back and remember every detail of the worst week of my life. I still ache and long for you every day. When I close my eyes I can see you, smell you and feel you! Most importantly today I want to tell you that you are one of my biggest blessings ever. All of my kids have taught me things but the wisdom I have gained from your tiny little life….that wisdom overflows all other. You forever changed me and I continue to learn from you daily! I have found peace with your passing but that hasn’t taken away my hurt for you. Today I am fine with the fact that you are celebrating on the knee of Jesus instead of my own. Today I love you as much as I ever have.

Love, Your Mommy

Cohen Minish, Oct .04 2006

Wait

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though often My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

I wouldn't change a thing and couldn't imagine my life going any other way!

He knew exactly what I needed in this life....all three of my children!!

Paper Pretty!

2011-10-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

As I have said before, I am venturing in to a totally different type of business these days and so far I am LOVING it! It gives me the chance to still be creative but not have to run all over town (30 minutes from my house) collecting supplies like sewing did. I didn't think I would ever say this but I have gotten burnt out with sewing. I still love it and still plan to do little stuff here and there but that will mostly be stuff for myself, family or friends, not for business purposes. With being back to work there just isn't enough time to run around buying supplies every other day & then making the item. I have actually been posting lots of my sewing stuff on ebay. Most of what I am posting is fabric that I bought a long time ago and have never gotten around to using or all the embroidery blanks that I have but will also probably never use.

So I started learning as much as I could about different design softwares. Digital backgrounds and graphics are like fabric for me...addictive! It really gets my creative juices flowing and I love it. I opened up a shop on etsy, Paper Pretty Designs, and started creating. I have been so blessed that in the past two months I have had 83 sales. Those sales don't include the sales I have had from friends and facebook! You can like my facebook fanpage HERE! Then suggest my page to others. With all the facebook changes I think the easiest way to do this is just to suggest it one time as your status. You can say something about it and then just put @Paper Pretty Designs and it should highlight it blue and link to my page. Very simple!

I have been working hard to create lots of Christmas cards. I am very anxious to start listing them but I keep watching etsy to see if other Christmas cards are selling yet and they aren't so I am trying to time it just right. I am doing everything from very simple and traditional to stepping outside of the box with very funky original cards:)

Below is just a taste of the Christmas cards I am working on! You won't find these cards on the Walmart photo site:)

Get super cute and modern baby shower invitations!

Birthday invites to go with any theme plus you can get matching printable cupcake toppers, party favor tags, thank you cards, birthday banners, water bottle wraps, etc..

LOVE my little business and very blessed to be doing something I love so much!!!

Random stuff!

2011-09-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

Things seem to be moving right along. Tegan went back to school this week. His eyes are still a little pink but that is something they told us to expect for a very very long time. It is still really hard to tell about the success of the surgery especially when it comes to him seeing far away but I can tell you that it is looking like it solved the problem of the head tilt which was the most noticeable feature of his eye condition. It will be totally awesome if it stays like this and doesn't set him up for being picked on by other kids as he gets a little older.

The picture on the left was about 5 days after surgery and the one on the right was last night. Huge improvement in the color.

I continue to place him in God's hands and believe that everything is healing just like it should be and that he will be just fine!

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and bought me several healthy choices instead of my normal ice cream and chips for snacks. I heart pinterest so much and have been pinning all types of recipes on there. I had saw this a while ago and wanted to give it a try. Of course mine didn't look nearly as beautiful as the one posted by KevinandAmanda that I pinned (you can click her picture below to go to see how she did it).

The one on the left is the one I pinned and the one on the right is mine:)

Source: kevinandamanda.com via Tabatha on Pinterest

Of course I had to modify it for my taste. I used the same granola that she used b/c it was on sale and was the cheapest:) Of course I used strawberries but let me be clear...they were the most sour strawberries I have ever had. So I ate as many as I could stand and then started eating around them. She uses regular yogurt. I am just not a regular yogurt person. I have tried to like it but just can't. So I used about a 1/2 of a cup of Mayfield's frozen vanilla yogurt and poured a small amount of 2% milk over it to make it softer. I poured it all in my cup and it was great!!! Had my strawberries tasted better it would have been perfect! I am not a granola person but granola on frozen yogurt is AWESOME!

Life is moving along as usual although I am very tired all the time. Not your average body tired but my eyes have seemed so heavy lately. I am pretty sure that I have went off to sleep at least 3 times in the past two days while driving down the road. Maybe I have developed a bit of narcolepsy....whatever it is, I hope it passes soon.

Happy Wed. everyone...let us hope that the rest of the week is smooth and fast:)

What Should Have Been

2011-09-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have a best friend named Larkin. We became great friends during her senior year and my junior year of high school. After she graduated we lost touch for a while but then I married a guy that went to the same church as her and her husband. For years we have talked or sent rather lengthy emails to each other on a daily basis. It is very rare for us to not talk to each other except when each of us are on vacation and even then we sneak in a phone call or two:) So it would only be right to say that her joy is my joy and her pain is my pain.

This past Monday my best friend was suppose to deliver her healthy baby boy. Plans had been made and the c-section had been on the books for months. Today, Friday, she would have been coming home with that healthy baby boy. Tonight she was suppose to have a sleepless night while she was up and down breastfeeding her little man but instead she will have a totally different kind of sleepless night.

What should have been....isn't! This past Monday instead of celebrating new life she is in the throws of grieving one month since she was delivered a devastating blow. It was the kind of blow that sucks the life right out of you and changes you FOREVER! At 35 1/2 weeks pregnant she was told that her baby had passed away. Two days earlier I had wrote this post about how I had felt like something was going to go wrong. Since this happened to her I haven't had this feeling again. I felt it coming before I knew it was there.

That day she called me from a room in her Dr.'s office. I still get chills when I think of her crying so hard that I was unsure that she had just told me that "He was gone". I was shocked, sad, devastated and taken right back to what that feels like. It is a feeling you can never forget! That awful moment when they tell you that the life inside of you isn't perfectly healthy like it should have been! That moment everything changes for the rest of your life!

The next day I was at the hospital with a pit in my stomach. I felt every single thing she went through that day.  I felt like I was losing one of my own family members plus it took me right back to the day almost 5 years earlier when I had experienced my own loss. I was so blessed that she allowed me to see her son after he was born.  There is only one way to describe him and that is absolutely PERFECT! He was so perfect. I cried for her. I cried for him. I cried for me.  I will forever be thankful to her for letting me be a part of that moment and for allowing him to be a part of my life. I will never forget his face.

I watched as she held her little boy, Landon.   I watched her in an out of body kind of way when she was taking her finger and following his face over and over and over again. I could feel it b/c I did the same thing. I think as moms it is a natural instinct to memorize our precious angels during that brief time that we can. I watched them bring her the very same things that were given to me after my own experience. I couldn't believe this was happening.

All those years ago when God brought Larkin in to my life he already knew that this day would come. As I have talked to her for hours and walked this walk with her, I have ached for my own son and for her son. While I have hurt, I have also felt some peace.  I pray nightly that Larkin will find her peace in a much shorter amount of time than I found mine. Finding peace doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt but on that day my peace came in the form of "if this happened to me so that I could be there for her, I'm OK with that".  For five years I have walked a very lonely road. Yes my husband has been there and others have been there (including Larkin) but for the first time in five years when I talk about a feeling that I remember having or may still have, someone knows exactly what I am talking about. Before she can complete a thought about how she feels, I can finish that thought for her b/c I know. I desperately wish that I was still walking my lonely road. I had gotten use to being there and was fine with it but now I have company.

Even though she has me, I'm not all she needs. She needs you to mention her son. She will probably cry when she talks about it but just remember that you didn't make her cry, the death of her son is doing that to her. She needs you to not be afraid of her. Yes she is fragile but she is already broken. I promise you that you can't break her anymore than she already is. She needs you to know that all because she looks OK doesn't mean she is. All because she laughs doesn't mean she isn't feeling the pain. All because life goes on for you doesn't mean it will ever fully go on for her ever again. She needs you to know that this is a process and she may be angry or she may be short with you but just remember that grief beats a person up from the inside out. Most importantly she needs you to love her, pray for her and remember that Landon was real. He was so real and so perfect in every way.

I wrote the above for anyone who knows someone that is going through this or has experienced something like this. My heart has never healed from losing my own son. It doesn't matter how far out I get from my own experience and my own raw emotions, something can take me right back to that moment in a heartbeat. This has definitely done that to me but that's OK. I'm OK! Everyday she will get up and beg for God's mercy while she grieves. Then one day she will wake up and praise God for giving her that mercy. I don't think you ever get over something like this but you do get use to it and learn how to cope with it. I am so very blessed to be this person in Larkin's life and I plan to carry her for as far as she lets me or needs me to because I know that getting over what should have been is virtually impossible!

One week later...

2011-09-21T11:48:00.000-07:00

I am happy to report that Tegan is recovering awesomely (is that a word) from his surgery. It has been one week and I am so glad to see him improving everyday. He has spent the last 7 days resting & laying around a lot but his spunk is starting to return.

I can tell a difference in his head tilt already but it is still very hard to tell if we got the results we wanted from the surgery. I guess we can't rush it b/c she did say that it can take six months to a year to fully recover from this surgery. The plus is that he isn't tilting his head to the left at all anymore. He use to have a pretty major left side head tilt to see well. The negative to this is that it seems to me that his vision isn't as good as it was before the surgery. Now I don't want to jump the gun on that b/c it can take up to 3 weeks for the brain to adjust and relearn what it should see from the new position but I'm just a little worried about it. He just isn't seeing very well when things are far off or directly on the ground in front of him. I have also noticed him tilting his head to the right a little which is totally not what we want and will defeat the whole purpose of the surgery. Well actually, we don't want the head tilt or the vision loss!

I'm just trying to stop testing him daily and just give it some time but it is very hard to do. It isn't everyday your kid has his eyeballs turned to a different direction!!!

He is eating, drinking and playing again. His eyes are wide open. They are still very red but nothing compared to what they were. In fact they have improved a lot over the last 24 hours. The only real trouble we seem to be having is in the mornings when he wakes up his eyes are somewhat stuck to together and it takes him a while to get them open. Plus he is sensitive to light in the mornings but after about an hour of adjusting and getting his eyes open...he is good to go!

Here is what his eyes looked like last Friday....

And this is what it looked like yesterday....

Sorry for the bad quality, he wouldn't let me use the flash.

I took him yesterday to his school to see his class. I did it to somewhat ease the blow for him just in case his eyes don't improve. As kids do, most of his class was shocked to see his red eyes but it didn't seem to bother him. However it did bother him when we were leaving and ran in to my nephews kindergarten class. My nephew asked what happened to his eyes and that prompted the entire class of strange kids to turn around and start making comments about his eyes which it totally normal I know. He got really shy, asked me to hold him, and buried his head in my shoulder. He kept asking why everyone was looking at his eyes. My prayer is that they clear up a whole lot over the next 4 or 5 days before he goes back to school. His pre-k teacher is really awesome and has showed lots of concern for him. She has also been great about preparing the class for Teg's red eyes and talking to them about him. I really do love that she seems to already care a lot for Tegan.

Hopefully by next week things will get back in to their regular routine around here. I don't know about you but I thrive on routine....even if I hate it!!!

My Short Lived Texting Phase....

2011-09-17T20:47:00.000-07:00

In my defense I have really had a lot going on this past month. I started a new job, I have a friend who really needs me, Teg's surgery, etc...

I'm not usually much of a texter. One huge reason is b/c this summer I dropped my cell phone in the lake and the only damage to it was that the V and M on the keypad doesn't work anymore. Do you know how many times you use the letter M...A LOT!!! Anyways, this past month I guess I have stepped up my texting game b/c I more than doubled my limit. Oops! I would swear to you that I remember having a total conversation with my husband about how I had unlimited texting. He denies such conversation and therefore the jury has found me guilty. There goes the beginning of my Christmas fund:( The sad thing is that there are still 8 more days in this billing cycle!!!

Needless to say, for the next 8 days I am totally grounded from texting and I may just boycott it after that! I feel like a total teenager. Such an epic fail at being a texter! I think I will just go back to that old fashion thing called talking!!!

Day Three Post Surgery...Turning the Corner

2011-09-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest blessings in life is that every day is a new day and a new opportunity for any situation to get better. Today is our day...I hope!

I really feel like that the worst is behind us. All of the prayers have been felt and I am just overwhelmed by everyone who has lifted my boy up in prayer.

After the rough day we had yesterday, we were praying for a great day with lots of improvement. I mean, I want Tegan to learn how to sit still for at least short periods of time but this isn't the way I wanted it to happen. In the last few days we have only saw lots of this

Today he is somewhat back to his old self. He is eating (albeit still very picky), drinking, playing, talking and most importantly he has his eyes open!!!! He wanted to look at his eyes so I let him but bless his heart he didn't like what he saw. His eyes are very very red and look very very painful. The plus is that he doesn't seem to be in any pain today. He does keep saying that his eyes itch really bad way back on the inside but with eyes that look like his, that isn't so bad. The itching is most likely coming from all the stitches that are placed in the muscles around his eyes. We are totally expecting the red to linger for a very long time. His eyes will probably have a pink tint to them for up to 6 months but at least he can see!!!!

He insisted that I take a picture of his eyes and show them to him on the computer b/c he says it hurts less to look at them on the computer than in the mirror:) He is very proud of himself for having his eyes open and so are his parents. We still can't tell yet if the surgery did what it was suppose to do b/c he keeps tilting his head back and looking down the front of his nose...which is totally not what we want and is way worse than what he did before. But I think he is only doing that b/c his eyelids are still a little puffy on the inside b/c sometimes I notice he isn't tilting it back. I still see the eye movement, which is the Nystagmus, but I don't know if you would notice it if you weren't looking for it. I am looking for it so that is why it stands out to me. So far, Paul and I haven't seen him tilt his head to the side at all to see. We were told to expect for his eyes to be pointing totally to the left for the first week until his brain readjust and he pulls them to the right. They aren't pointing to the left but straight forward. Of course that is what we want but we don't want them to pull anymore to the right so I am praying that his brain is just ahead of the game and has already done what it is suppose to!

I am praising God today for the healing and find it to be such a miracle what he can do in just a 10 to 12 hour time span. Red or not...I am so very happy to see his beautiful eyes.

Day Two Post Surgery

2011-09-15T19:32:00.000-07:00

Good grief what a day! I learned a long time ago that when it comes to my kids (in my belly or not), I should always listen to my gut. A mother always knows. I am so very thankful for a Dr. (Dr. Glassman) who listened to me even though I'm not really sure he wasn't convinced that I was just being paranoid.

Tegan had a very restless nights sleep last night. I'm sure it doesn't help that him and I are practically sleeping on top of each other in a twin size bed. This morning he woke up early like always. I moved him to the couch to "listen" to the TV since he didn't want to open his eyes. I can't tell you what particular thing triggered my motherly instinct but I just had this funny feeling something wasn't right with him. From 7 to 9 AM, he was laying on the couch and I sat in the floor right next to him. I didn't even fix myself breakfast. I just felt off. Sometime around 9 I noticed that he was feeling very warm. I took his temp, he had a fever and I gave him some Tylenol. I walked away for just a second and he started to vomit. Not a little vomit but a really big huge vomit that was a little to huge for a kid that had not ate a single thing in 48 hours and was barely drinking. His shirt was so covered that I couldn't get it over his head without it hitting his eyes so I just gave up, grabbed some scissors and said goodbye to his night shirt. I cleaned him up, cleaned up my couch, ruined my carpet by cleaning it with something that left a big old bleach spot and then just sat right back down beside him while trying to call the eye Dr. Of course with a place like Emory, you don't get a real person. I debated and debated on what to do b/c at this point he was talking a little more and acting better. Through all this he had yet to open his eyes at all the whole morning and my gut feeling was still lingering.

Thirty minutes later I quit debating and got him an appointment at the pediatricians office. His eye Dr./surgeon is over two hours away so I thought it would be best to start local. Let me just say I love love love my Dr. He has always trusted my instincts with my kids and today was no different although I almost didn't voice my concern for fear of looking stupid. Tegan checked out fine physically and didn't look dehydrated at all. He was thinking this all may be normal for the surgery he has been through. But then I told him I had a gut feeling and I knew something wasn't right. That was all he needed to hear. He got on the phone with the surgeon and came up with a plan to make sure all of our bases were covered.

He sent us straight to the hospital just to get a blood culture and to get antibiotics by IV just in case this was the start of an eye infection. In the ten minutes it took me to drive there, park and walk up to the 3rd floor carrying my 41 pound kid, he got way worse. He was pale, limp and not talking at all. He looked awful and was impossible to wake up. The nurses took one look at him and knew he needed some fluids right then. They didn't even get to let the numbing cream work on his hand before they just had to place the IV. One bag of fluids and one huge dose of antibiotics by IV later and he was like a new kid. He was even opening his eyes for the first time...both eyes at the same time! By opening I don't mean really opening but yet just barely a crack. You can't even really tell the difference in blood, redness or eye through the tiny crack but atleast he was trying to open them. There is a huge bulging blood clot on the inside corner of his right eye.

BUT praise the Lord he can see out of both eyes. Maybe not all that great through that little crack and all the blood but at least he has vision!!! I was so thankful to bring my little man home with him talking and wanting to set up...unlike the whole rest of the day.

I thought today would be a very progressive day but it seemed he took two steps back. I just pray that tomorrow is the day we need it to be and he shows a significant amount of healing. I'm anxious to see if all this is worth the end result! If you seen his eyes...you would definitely doubt yourself as a mother. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. It looks painful and I am feeling very guilty for letting them do this to him!!! Pray that his Mama doesn't going crazy while you pray for his very quick healing!!!!

SURGERY DAY is OVER!!!!

2011-09-14T13:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the delay in updating. Yesterday was a very long day and we were all sound asleep the first chance we had.

First I just have to say that Tegan is a trooper!!! We went up the night before and stayed in a hotel so that we didn't have to drive a real long distance the next morning. We were walking in to the Children's Hospital at 6:30 AM. This was the most efficient hospital I have ever been in (and I work at a hospital so that is saying a lot)!
Tegan was really brave and very sweet to all the staff that came in to do various things to him in preparation for his surgery. He did start to get really thirsty and just decide he wanted to go home at around 9:00 AM but they came in at around 9:30 AM and gave him some "Joy Juice" (like a Valium for kids) and he was good to go. He didn't even cry when they took him from me. They put him to sleep with a mask and then put in the IV so I was thankful for that. Surgery started at around 10 AM and they called to say they were finishing up at a few minutes after 12 PM. He was in recovery for a little while after that and then they finally brought him to us. I was devastated when they wheeled him in and by the look on Paul's face, I thought he was going to throw up at any minute. As soon as Teg heard my voice he started to cry. Not a hard cry but this little painful and heartbreaking cry. He just kept saying "they stuck two things in my eyes" and "please get this stuff out of my eyes with a paper towel". He was begging for Paul and I to help but we felt very helpless.
But like tough little boys do, he started to bounce back. Now he is by no means OK but his attitude is GREAT! He has been talking a lot and playing with whatever toys we put within arms reach.
His eyes have been bleeding since the surgery but that should slow down soon. I have to constantly clean his eyes and he doesn't like it. He has just started to barely open one eye. So for over 24 hours he has just laid there with his eyes closed and refuses to open them. The eye he is opening looks HORRIBLE. There is a huge blood clot just sitting in the inside corner of that eye. Everything is so bloody that I can't really tell which way the eyeball is actually pointing. He isn't really opening it up enough for me to see it but at least I know he does have vision in that eye which eases one of our fears of the risk of him losing his vision. He still refuses to open the other eye at all so hopefully that will change very soon. He isn't really eating anything but he is drinking juice, sprite and "Banilla" milkshakes. I slept with him last night and he did pretty good except a few times when he would wake suddenly and couldn't get his eyes open, he would start screaming for me not realizing that he was literally screaming in my ear. Talk about a wake up call.
He can not touch or rub his eyes at all. I thought that was going to be hard to prevent but once we told him it would hurt if he touched them, he hasn't even tried. We have to be very cautious for the next two weeks b/c infection is the biggest risk of this surgery. The actual surgery was detaching his eyeball from all four muscles and placing those muscle back to his eyeball in a different place. He has lots of stitches on the sides and backs of his eyeball....so we can't see the stitches but they say he can feel them. They say that it feels like having sand in your eyes so you can imagine how aggravating that is. They also say that it feels very tight to him.
Although the surgery went well there is no way to tell if it was a success or not at this point. We are praying hard that it is b/c I just don't think I can do this to him again. It is awful. The point is that he would have to turn his eyes to the right to make them be still so he could see before he had the surgery. Well this surgery took his eyeballs and turned them to the left. So when he does open up his eyes, they aren't going to point in the right direction right away but within a few days he will start trying to pull them to the right (like he always has) to be able to see and that is suppose to bring them to the front . It is scary b/c there is nothing really for her to go by to know where she should place the muscles back. She just has to do it and pray that they will be right once his brain readjust. So the next few days he will hopefully start opening his eyes, they will straighten up and his brain will adjust to the new point. A LOT of scary stuff!!!! He will be able to function again soon but his eyes will heal from this for 6 to 12 MONTHS!!! So if she didn't get it right this time and he has to have it done again, it will probably be a year before she can do it again...I'm still unclear on that. I am worried that what if it works in one eye but not the other and his eyes look really off from each other....which is possible. There are lots of what ifs with this surgery and we definitely have fear that we will end up feeling like we made the wrong choice. But we feel like we had to put this in God's hands and do everything we could for our little man.
There are lots of prayers still needed....speedy recovery, for him to open his eyes, the bleeding to stop, no fever, no infection, that his eyes will do what they should at this point, and that he will one day forgive us for this horrible pain and surgery we have put him through!
Thank you all so much for thinking of us and praying for us. I know that I could feel the prayers and peace all day yesterday b/c I am normally very anxious but I never got that way at all yesterday. Please continue to pray for Tegan and lift him up....this surgery is no cake walk!!!

Surgery Day is HERE!!!

2011-09-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we will take our baby boy to the hospital for his first (and hopefully last) eye surgery! It would be a total understatement to say that I am very very anxious about this. He will be having it done at the Children's Hospital and should get to come home tomorrow night if all goes well with surgery and being put to sleep.
He will be under anesthesia for around 2 to 3 hours...that makes me nervous too! They will completely detach his eyeballs and shift them to a new focus point. Gross....yes but it is the only way to explain it. It is a pretty big deal and it hasn't helped me to watch my husband get really nervous about it. Stuff to him is usually no big deal but this is our baby's eyes we are messing with.
We have researched his Dr. high and low and even gotten a second opinion. We are at the point where we feel really confident with her and her recommendation for this surgery. I think I am mostly scared b/c I don't want to watch him be scared. That and the fact that there is nothing out there (not even in google land) that tells us what to expect post-op b/c it effects everyone differently. One woman said her son wouldn't even open his eyes at all for FIVE days after the surgery. The whites of his eyes are expected to be red/pink for several months and we should expect to see some blood pockets form below his eye. Other than those things...there is no way to predict this surgery. We have no way of knowing if this surgery will actually help him or even hurt him but we are putting all our faith in the Lord on this one. I am placing my baby boy in his hands and already praising him for a smooth surgery, quick recovery and a cure for this incurable eye condition!!!!
Tegan has no idea what is going to happen and I just can't bring myself to tell him. He thinks we are "Going to pick up his eye surgery".
We have to be at the hospital at 7:00 AM in the morning and surgery will be around 9:00 or 10:00. It will be hard to not let him drink anything b/c anyone who knows Tegan knows that he is serious about his orange juice and milk.
Please say a prayer for my little man tonight and tomorrow (and for his super nervous parents too). Let's all lift him up!!!!

Grieving a baby...

2011-09-09T20:50:00.000-07:00

This is just the first post of what will be many as I lead up to Cohen's birthday this year. I have yet to experience some deaths such as losing a parent or sibling (I hope it is a long time before I do) but I know what it is like to lose a grandparent, father-in-law, aunt and cousin. Although those deaths were all hard to deal with, so far nothing has compared to burying my baby. As I am walking through some things the past three weeks I have realized that not many people understand nor do they ever hope to understand what it is like to bury a baby. So tonight I want to give you a glimpse. Just a tiny taste of the immediate reality of a mother of an angel.
Imagine your heart being taken straight from your chest and put in the ground. The wind is knocked out of you over and over again as you beg for mercy to make it stop. The emptiness is unreal. There is a void there that you fear will forever be part of you. You ache...physically ache to the core. Your arms hurt and long to cling to an infant. You are given a blessing and a curse in this baby daily. You crave him/her. Just one more look at their precious face might get you through but there is no possibility of that. If you are lucky enough to get pictures, those are all you will ever have and they become your greatest treasure. Every single day hurts...even 5 years later. Time keeps going while you stand stuck in quick sand that is so unforgiving. You may think you are having a good day but then something can take you right back to it in a very raw way. Keeping up everyday only happens if you have to. Going out in public takes courage that you have lost. You fear that if someone catches you laughing they may think you are ok. You are not ok.
What most people don't know is that while you are planning the burial of your baby, Mother Nature doesn't cut you any slack. The sight of blood is just a reminder. Your body produces milk as if it is preparing to feed a healthy and alive baby. You have to let your body heal when all you want to do is find a way to make time fly. You can't sleep. Eating isn't at the top of your desire list. Hormones....oh the hormones. Possibly the cruelest of all is that feeling in your stomach...it happens most when you lay down at night. You could swear you just felt your baby move. There it is again and for just a minute you let yourself believe that your baby is still safely tucked away in your belly. This feeling can last several months as things in your body try to go back to normal.
You are peaceful. You are sad. You are angry. The angry stage last a long time. I don't mean that you are just angry at the situation but you become angry that time goes on for everyone else and they are back to life as usual within days while you are left behind broken. You are angry that people don't mention your baby as if he never lived. You are angry that people think you are just ok. The anger last a really long time. Then you go in to survival mode. Then you begin to work backwards through the grief. More anger. More sadness. And at some point you find your peace. Does finding peace mean you aren't sad....no!

Hard to read....I pray you never ever have to live it!!! Once you feel it, it doesn't take much to take you back to it. You can never make someone understand these feelings, like really feel them, unless they have lost their own baby. You are forever incomplete!!!

Wait...What month is it??

2011-09-02T20:55:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is this year FLYING by?? I can't believe we are already in to September but oh so thankful that I have almost survived yet another horribly hot and rain free summer. I LOVE fall and can't wait to see the leaves changing and feel that cool air. Of course in Georgia, fall only last for 3 days before it is winter time:)

Life is moving along at such a busy pace. Things are keeping me so busy that there isn't even much time for facebook....probably just what I needed to break the addiction! The job has been busy. I love it but have to admit that I am not as young as I use to be. All this running up and down the halls of the hospital and working all day without sitting down at all, might just be taking its toll on me b/c tonight my legs, feet, back and even my ribs are hurting. Crazy I know. I'm sure once I get a little more use to things that I will be OK.

Tegan is begging me every night with his sweet little voice to "Pwease not make me go to Cool!". Unfortunately he must go while I work. We are preparing for his eye surgery in less than two weeks. Well not in the actual sense but in the prayer sense! I am scared and not ashamed to admit it.

Rylee is doing great and has started gymnastics. She loves it which makes my heart very happy!

Boring post I know but there have been lots of other things going on that I just can't wrap my tired little head around tonight. Things that I may or may not ever be able to put in to words or to even blog about. Right now I am just thankful for my little family, my job, my house and my little world within these walls!

Four Years Later I have YOU!

2011-08-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

On this day, four years ago, my little man was born. He was perfect in every way and saved me in more ways than he could have imagined. My family of three desperately wanted him and the day we got him did not disappoint.

Full of energy. Tough as nails. Can and will overcome any obstacle. Perfect in every way. Has no fear of his mama but walks a straight line around his daddy. Loves to aggravate his sister. Constantly jumps on the furniture.

Can make a mess just by walking in a room. Loving. Precious. Spoiled rotten. Can throw a fit that will make a grown man blush and make his mama just give him what he wants. Loud...very loud.

Sneaky. Secretive. Hesitant yet adjust quickly these days. Loves school but doesn't let that stop him from begging me to just let him stay with me (and oh how I want to).

A character! Can live off of liquids alone and doesn't really like food at all. Can make you laugh even when doing something totally wrong. LOVES his sister so very much. Spoiled rotten by the sister whom adores him and mothers him daily. Is his mama's baby and his daddy's boy. Is quick to tell anyone who ask that his mama is the boss and so is he but not his daddy.

Loves "Banilla" ice cream and "Pantycakes". Calls his underwear, unders and his pajamas, goodnights. Gets up and dresses himself for school every morning. Wild as can be with an attitude to match. Sometimes shy. Fast and has arms like an octopus. Still sleeps with his little blue blankie every night and claims he can't live without it. A great sleeper if he ever gets still long enough.

A blessing. My saving grace. Tugs at my heart strings daily. Knows that we need him just as much as he needs us. Awesomely carries the burden of being born right behind his angel brother. Precious. Sweet. Perfect in every way.

Happy 4th Birthday to my little Tegan!!! We love you more than words can ever say!!!

This Week

2011-08-25T19:29:00.000-07:00

This week has been a week filled with many changes. Some good and some bad. Some I hope to last a while and some I hope to never experience again. Sadness and happiness all in the same week.

I finally started my new job this week. So far it is the best job I have ever had. I love it! I am working at a hospital in my area doing hearing screenings on all the newborn babies. It is a perfect job for me where I get to do some patient care but without having to worry about any more school right now. It is very flexible and PERFECT for a mother!!! My start time is flexible and the time I leave everyday is flexible. I don't have to depend on anyone else to get my kids to school or pick them up....I can do it! I am working with this great lady who through what has been a very rough week for me, has found a way to make me laugh. At first I wasn't to excited about my job hunt. With both kids being in school all day long, it was just time. I am ready to move forward and help contribute again but I still wanted to be able to do what I had to do for my kids. This job literally landed in my lap. I waited to start it once I had the kids settled in school.

This is my new adventure that I have been anticipating. I am still able to continue my work on Paper Pretty and do this also. I love both jobs very much and feel good about where I am right now! I am excited about what all the future holds!!! But I am back to a life that no matter how much I love my job, I look forward to Friday!!!

Today

2011-08-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

I look back at this verse and pray hard for a friend...

"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

It only takes a second...

2011-08-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Just the other day I had this strange feeling come over me. I was driving down the road and couldn't help but think about how great life can be one second and then the next your whole world could change. My family is happy, healthy and safe right now but it only takes a second for all that to change. I often wonder how many near misses I have to tragedy that I will never know about. That delay getting out the door in the mornings can be so frustrating but is it preventing me from something horrible happening?

I always take a lot of caution with Tegan around water. He can't swim and until recently he had a fear of water. He likes to play on the steps of a pool but unlike other kids, Tegan's depth perception isn't good around water due to his Nystagmus which makes the steps very dangerous b/c he thinks they are closer than they really are.

Tonight we went to a pool party for my niece's birthday. The pool was well over Tegan's head but it had this little ledge just under the water that ran along the length of the pool. Tegan had been walking from one end to the other on the ledge. My husband and I both had our backs turned at one point and were a good distance away from the pool. I had just turned around and saw Tegan and made the comment to my husband "do you know where your son is since both of us have our backs turned". He laughs and says "yes he is right there". But since he knows I am looking at Tegan, he makes that comment without even turning around to check on him. It was that instance...literally the very next second...Tegan steps off the ledge and down he goes. He sinks like a rock but starts kicking and fighting to get back up. We both take off running to the pool. We both are fully clothed with shoes and everything. I get to the pool first but the more I reached for him the further he got from me. Once he went in to the water he was never able to come up for air. Within seconds this fully clothed Mama is in the water scooping her precious child up. He is fine. He is just as perfect in that second as he has always been. He doesn't even gag or cough but starts to cry. All I could do was hold him as tight to me as possible.

It all happened so fast. Almost so fast that most people around the pool didn't even notice what was happening. Those 30 or 40 seconds maybe weren't a big deal to some but they were to me. Those seconds could have changed my life forever. He couldn't scream for help and if I hadn't of turned around when I did no one may have noticed until it was to late. The faithful person in me uses moments like these as a reminder of how precious life is. I also use it as a reminder that God was right there, ever so slightly turning my cheek toward the pool so that the moment didn't end in tragedy. It terrified Rylee also as she was watching it in slow motion from the other end of the pool but couldn't swim fast enough to get to him. She was so precious and so concerned about him. She jumps out of the pool and comes to check on him.

It only takes a second for your life to change and nothing will ever be the same! Tonight I am praising God that my life is still the same and that my family remains happy, healthy and safe!!!

FAITHFUL FRIDAY!

2011-08-19T09:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday to all three of my faithful readers:) I wanted to share a video and blog with you that I have been keeping up with for a while. When trying to decide what to title this post, I decided to create FAITHFUL FRIDAY!
It is no secret that I a christian. Although I love to think that I am faithful, even I have been beaten down by life. Horrible things have happened in my short 31 years and most of those were in the past 5 years of my life. But so many awesome things have also happened. Things that pick me back up and carry me through. The same God that allows me to experience grief, fear and turmoil in my life also picks me up and blesses me with the good and the bad. We pull ourselves up in sadness and tragedy. We fight for what we want!
I have been keeping up with a blog for a while now called Ty Louis Campbell....Our Little Fighter. It first attracted me b/c Ty is very close to Tegan's age. It pulled at my heart strings for sure. I have prayed for this little boy that I don't know and I have most definitely prayed for his parents. His mom is ever faithful. Though I know she gets brokenhearted, she doesn't stop. She believes in her son but she also believes in God's will. She fights for his little life daily and it seems that she has a calling to do this for her son. She posted a video today on You Tube called "365 Days Of Cancer". I cried as I watched it and wanted to share it.

I hope his mom remains forever faithful no matter what the outcome is. I pray that her testimony is her keeping the faith and how God pulled her son through this!

Hug your kids this weekend and enjoy time with them!!!!

A Brand New Mommy...

2011-08-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

When Tegan came along and my husband started working 2nd shift, I pretty much shifted to survival mode. Every afternoon, Monday through Friday, I was on my own with the kids, supper, bath time, bedtime, house, everything. While I am a stay at home mom, I had to look for ways to simplify and that meant letting my independent little girl take on more responsibility. My husband switched to a 1st shift job over a year ago but for whatever reason I have never shut off that survival mode.

Since Ry started kindergarten (she is now a 3rd grader) I have never taken her to school in the mornings. Her daddy has just always done that for me so that I didn't have to wake Tegan up and drag him out of bed. I picked her up from school her whole first year but then at her request and to make my life a lot easier, I started letting her ride the bus. Unfortunately it didn't take her long to start hating the bus but at this point it was just easier to make her ride it. When it came to extracurricular activities I would let Rylee do them but I wouldn't say I was exactly happy about all the running around it involved which in turn I think would discourage her from wanting to continue on. Although I have worked a brief job and found amazing ways to make money from home, I have been here every single day for the kids...ALL DAY LONG.

Well these darn kids have had the nerve to grow up and are now both in school all day long. So here I am, in this awesomely yet eerie quiet house all by myself. While I have dreaded my baby boy joining my baby girl in the school world I do feel like I am somewhat of a brand new mommy. We now all four get up at the same time every morning which is very helpful when your daughter wants to dress crazy and your husband doesn't care what she wears b/c it is my fault that I am sleeping late:) I am taking both kids to school every morning and now going to pick them up every afternoon. I just couldn't put my pre-k (still 3 year old child) on the school bus and Rylee couldn't have been happier about that b/c she was begging to get out of riding the bus. I put Ry in gymnastics once a week and am doing it with a more positive feel to it. No complaints, no worries, just focusing on her and hoping that she loves it and sticks with it. I have recently started my new little business that I enjoy and love doing! Then I decided to make a big leap of faith and start another new adventure that I am so super excited about. To say that the most amazing opportunity has fallen in my lap would be an understatement.

My point is that I have felt somewhat disconnected the past 4 years...not from my kids and husband but from other outside world things and just from moving forward in life. I have lost focus and wasted lots of time but I feel like I am coming out of that. I am moving forward and loving my new "more involved" (not that I wasn't involved before) mommy role that I have taken on and very excited about all the other changes happening. I am happy to welcome what seems to be a nice new season in to my life and hopeful that it will take me to great places!!!

Hanging and Tagging

2011-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Tagging and hanging! I am getting the kids clothes ready for a big fall consignment sell. This part is not fun but the check will be worth it....I hope! I have to get it done tomorrow b/c I am not sure if I will have time after that. I still have ALL of Tegan's clothes to do!!!

While Tegan did great yesterday morning for pre-k, the same can't be said for today. He was fine and seemed excited. He practically ran down the hall to get to his class. But once we got there and several kids were standing there crying, he wasn't very happy. Then it got worse when one little boy was crying so hard he threw up....apparently he had Mountain Dew with his breakfast. Being the son of a germaphobe, Tegan begged me to bring him home. I had to leave him there a little upset and I was very very sad about it. It was much harder on me today than yesterday. I am just praying that he will do OK next week or else his daddy will have to take him b/c I can't leave him when he is upset. There is one thing for sure, that boy is tired after a full day of school! They still lay down and rest or nap in pre-k but he says he sleeps with his eyes open. In other words, he doesn't go to sleep at all. So at about 7:00 PM he starts to fall apart. He will cry at the drop of a hat and will stand there saying that he doesn't "feel berry good" over and over again. Poor guy! On the bright side he knocks right out at bedtime!!! Now if I can just force myself to bed earlier so that I am not so tired all day. For some reason I still can't make it to bed until 12:00 AM and that is early for me!

Ok...back to hanging and tagging:( Happy weekend everyone!

First Day Jitters

2011-08-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

Apparently I was the only one with first day of school jitters. Ry has been ready to start back to school since about a week after last school year ended. She started back last week and was so excited that she got up all by herself and ready by 6:30 AM. I think she did a great job dressing herself.....

My baby boy started pre-k today. He was so excited to be going to the same school as his big sister for the first time. I was worried to death about him but no worries, he walked in and was good to go! I took a picture of them together this morning even though Ry was in her P.E. clothes.

Seriously Mom....that's enough!

He was very proud of his new backpack and metal spider man lunchbox.

He has only been to his classroom one time, at open house but he was already able to lead us straight to his class this morning. This is a huge anxiety of mine b/c we aren't sure if they will let big sister walk him to class or not and the pre-k class is at the furtherest (is that a word?) point from the front door as you can get at that school. He has to make three turns! It is a really long walk for a little boy who is still three until the end of the month.

He walked in, gave his Daddy and I a hug, sat down and said bye. It made it so much easier on me to have him be so OK with it. He never really adjusted to half day preschool last year at a much smaller preschool so I fully expected tears today....from him and me!

Luckily I didn't cry although I did think about just sitting in the car in the parking lot all day. I was really early in the car rider line today too! There was one mama that was having a horrible time. She was sobbing and her husband was literally holding her up all while their son looked at her like she was a nut. As we say in the south....Bless Her Heart!

And here is one more picture of my sweet girl on her first day. She has to be the most awesome kid ever!

Now I am just praying that tomorrow will be another great day!!

In less than 10 hours...

2011-08-10T19:18:00.001-07:00

In less than 10 hours

we will drop this very excited little boy

off at pre-k!

Like real pre-k! In a big school!

Hopefully his shorts will be on straight in the morning:)

He is so excited. His mommy....not so much. He is my baby and I want him to stay home with me forever!!! But unfortunately time keeps passing so here we go....a whole new world begins!

2011-08-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've heard about it but never went to the website but once I did, I was hooked!!!! This has to be the best idea ever! If you haven't went to Pinterest you must go check it out. The idea behind it is that when you are looking on the Internet and see an idea or recipe or anything that you want to keep in mind, you can "pin" it on your boards in a very organized way and never lose it! When you click on the picture it takes you back to the very website that you got the idea from. It is so totally different than just saving it in your favorites and makes you feel a little creative too!
I got a little recipe happy earlier today b/c I have been trying to save ink for my printer, I have been hand writing all the recipes I would find. Not anymore! I am over the top obsessed! You can look on the right side of my blog and right above my blog archives is a link to follow me on pinterest(I know...follow me overload). If you set up an account (or already have one b/c I am the last to find this site) follow me so that I can do the same for you. It is really quick to create an account. I love to see what other ideas people are in to these days.

Here are just a few pictures of the recipes I "pinned" today:) They have a cool way where you can embed this stuff on your blog. I think that if you click on the picture it will take you to the actual recipes for what is in the picture. I haven't tried that so I'm not sure that it will take you there or not.

Source: kraftrecipes.com via Tabatha on Pinterest

Business As Usual

2011-08-08T13:11:00.001-07:00

I have joined up and added my name to a vendors list on a cool website called Catch My Party! So many great ideas! Check them out!

I have been working a little today on a few new designs and trying to create some complete party packages to offer. I don't have those totally ready but I did make this two new invitations that I love and wanted to show off. They are pretty simple and clean looking but yet oh so sweet!

I helped a friend of mine put on a baby shower for a friend of ours over this past weekend. It was a big success and let me just tell you, Chrissy can make some awesome cupcakes! These aren't your average out of a box cupcakes like I would make but yet oh so detailed. We added some of my cupcake toppers to them and they were super cute! You can check out her facebook page, Buttercups Bakery!

I had a recent order for a set of already made zebra print cupcake toppers....as opposed to the printable ones. They turned out great and made me think that I should think about offering a lot of my items already made by me and give the printable option for those who want to do it themselves. I am having so much fun putting all this together but I won't lie, it is a lot of work.

I have created a facebook page so if you are a facebook junky (or not), please stop over at Paper Pretty's facebook page and "like" it! It will let you stay up to speed on all the new stuff and also see the success of my business (power of positive thinking going on over here).

Happy Monday to all!!!

LET IT GO!!!!

2011-08-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

Lots of changes seem to be coming my way these days but one of the biggest is what I have been praying for within myself. Learning to LET GO of things and not always voice my opinion is like trying to teach an old dog new tricks...it's rough. My husband is wonderful at being able to just shut up and walk away from situations when he knows that no matter what he says the other person will not hear him. Me on the other hand...not so blessed with that quality.
I hate for people to always compare their life situations to mine. Sometimes I want to scream and say I listened to you now shut up and listen to me. All the time this happens. Lots of people in this world make me feel this way....LOTS! I try to be nice and have conversations with people or answer their questions and all that ends up happening is me getting frustrated. I keep thinking to myself that I can't do better and change if the devil keeps doing this to me but then I realize that the only way I will know that I have changed or am doing better is if GOD keeps doing this to me. This is a test! Have I mentioned it is rough! My night time prayers lately include asking God to just cover my mouth with his hand when he can see that I am about to react.
I've been pretty short on the blog lately. I haven't went in to great detail about what all is going on in our lives because my husband has made a great point to me. We need to stop worrying about everyone else and their lives b/c they don't seem worried about ours. We need to focus on the ones that live in our household and let the rest have their own lives. Out of respect for my husband, I am trying really really hard b/c I know he is totally right but the downside to doing this is that it seems to alienate us from family and friends. But right now what is best for us and what my husband ask me to do is best for everyone. Maybe living my life with my head in the sand would be a much more pleasant way to live.
There is an awesome and hysterically funny lady on facebook that post things on a daily basis! She makes more sense to me than she will ever know and while she is a for real comedian, she just might be changing my point of view about life! This was in her status update today:
At times you may feel the need to explain yourself.
Won't do any good for someone not willing to listen.
Allow them to be a turd and you ... LET IT GO.

Paper Pretty Designs

2011-07-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have really been working hard on a little something new lately. Research, practice and designing has kept me up until 1 or 2 in the morning nearly every night lately. I started to put together my new etsy shop and start to stock my store nearly a month ago. You can imagine my surprise when I hadn't pushed my shop, advertised or even told a single person that I was doing it but yet I started having sales over the past week or two to complete strangers. There is still so much more that I want to offer and am working on for the shop but I will post about those as they happen:)

My new shop is Paper Pretty Designs or www.paperprettydesigns.etsy.com. As of right now it is strictly digital. I offer designs of all different types of invitations (and soon to add Christmas cards) for you to print and mail! All of these invitations and cards can be customized any way you want! I don't have even half of what I am working on listed in the shop yet but I couldn't hold it in any longer. Some other things that I am working on adding to my shop are some awesome graduation announcements, whole digital party kits that you print at home, and MORE. But those things are taking me a little more time to get together with the kids needing their Mommy so much during the summer...how dare they!!

Here are just a few samples of birthday invites. To view them in the full size just head over to my ETSY SHOP. You can also like my new PAGE on facebook by clicking HERE! There are so many more posted in there for you to view including baby shower invites, wedding shower invites, etc...

I'm very excited about this new adventure. While I love to sew, I love to do it as a hobby. I have made a pretty good income the past four years off of my sewing but I have also not enjoyed it like I use to so even though I will still fill orders for friends and family, I may be putting that whole show on the back burner for a while.
There are several changes going on right now in my life as I have also been offered another amazing opportunity that is in the works, I am about to start BOTH of my kids in ALL DAY school (a first for my little man), we are finally moving forward with Teg's eye stuff and several other things.

Teenagers Today

2011-07-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you but I have huge fears about raising teenagers. I dread it and look forward to it all at the same time. I only look forward to it b/c I always want to see what my children will do next but I dread it b/c who in the world likes to deal with a teenager. Now I'm not saying all teenagers are bad...my little teenage babysitter does not fall in to your usual drama filled know it all smart mouth you can't tell me nothing category(a.k.a sheenaisawesome). I just pray that Ry has a touch of that in her b/c I'm not sure that we will both come out the other side alive:) I am friends with lots of teenagers on facebook and let me tell you, I sometimes want to jump through my computer screen. So much so that I have had to unfriend a lot of them. The first thing that annoys me is how they post pictures constantly with their tongues out. Seriously...do you think you look cute with your nasty long tongue sticking out in every single picture? Another thing that gets me is ALL THE END OF THE WORLD DRAMA!!!! I know that those very same things once seemed important to me but my goodness STOP POSTING THAT YOU SWITCH BOYFRIENDS LIKE PANTIES!!!!! I don't believe in a teenager having a "relationship status" unless it has been at least a year! Your getting on my nerves with your "in a relationship", "it's complicated" and "single again" crap every three hours!
Facebook has changed stuff with teenagers. People that would never see you in a bikini, now can just as soon as you post that half naked picture on the Internet! Also, there doesn't have to be all the face to face bullying. Just plaster it all over facebook and you have knocked some poor insecure girl to her knees. I'm all about protecting my kids and rest assure that the first time my daughter comes home crying b/c some I think I'm better than you girl says something ugly to her, that I won't want to take her out but really she must learn to fight her own battles and me getting involved isn't going to help matters unless something gets extreme....then I will take her out:)
The other thing is how they dress. If I were young again and had to find a boyfriend these days, I would be single. We were at the mall on Saturday and there was several boys with leggings on. One boys leggings had one hot pink leg and one zebra print leg. I'm almost certain that he had jeans on over those when he left his poor unsuspecting parents and then he ripped off the jeans as soon as he was out of their sight. I am most certain that I will always check under my kids clothes before they leave my house. Paul was convinced that they must have lost a bet but he looked pretty confident in his clothing choices. Then there are boys that are wearing skinny leg jeans or hip hugging low rise jeans. Boys, you don't look cute.
Whatever happened to being normal. I mean, I'm scared!!! So I think the lesson that we have learned for today is please keep your tongue in your mouth and a simple pair of regular old jeans and a tshirt will do the trick!

My Fitness Pal

2011-07-22T12:20:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: For whatever reason the link I posted won't work. I keep trying and double checking but it won't so just go to www.myfitnesspal.com .

So recently I have felt blah about myself. Now when I say this to most people I hear "You don't need to lose weight" but my scales beg to differ. I am not huge. I am not even considered overweight but I have been slowly gaining a pound here and there that I'm not to happy about. I also don't usually exercise. Well for about the past month my husband, my kids and myself have been walking anywhere from three to five nights a week. We go to our church parking lot b/c it is pretty big and walk a mile to a mile and a half each time. Tegan takes a bike to play on or goes to the church playground. Rylee actually exercises with us...usually she runs. My husband runs and walks. So far I just walk. Running makes my heart hurt but I'm going to start with little short very brief moments of jogging. I can't tell you how much better I have felt just since I started this little amount of exercise. I have so much more energy and just feel tons better.
Even though I have went from zero exercise to a regular routine, I just lost my very first pound that seems to be staying off this week...at least so far. I don't really have a huge love for food. Ask anyone who knows me, I don't sit down and eat a whole lot at one time at any meal. I don't walk away from a restaurant saying that was the best food of my life. I just eat to sustain life:) But what I do love is two things: 1.) My diet or regular coke. I can not live without carbonated beverages. Recently when we were out to eat I tried to get water as a money saving thing and it really ruined my dinner. 2.) The other thing I love is snacks. I can literally just live off of snack food. All day long I snack. Now this would be great if it was light and healthy snacks or fruit or something but it isn't. I snack on chips (my weakness right now is kettle cooked jalapeno chips), crackers, cheese, fudge rounds, ice cream, pretty much any bad for you snack. It is so hard to break the snack and coke habit. I have done it for 31 years!!! I have ZERO self control or will power when it comes to snack food and coke.
I also have no idea how to count calories or any of the other stuff you are suppose to count. So I just joined a free website that is super easy to join, My Fitness Pal. It takes my height, weight, age, and other factors to tell me what my daily calorie intake should be on a daily basis so that I can lose one pound a week for 5 weeks. You can tell it how many pounds you want to lose and how many you want to lose a week and it will factor all that in and tell you what your calorie intake should be. But the VERY BEST FEATURE EVER is the food diary. You go on there for each meal and snacks and type in what you had for lunch. It will tell you how many calories, fat grams, carbs & proteins that you used for that meal or for the day so far and how many more you can use before hitting your goal of intake for the day. You can even enter meals from restaurants (including fast food) so that you can really keep up with everything. You also enter in your exercise to know how many calories you are burning.
It breaks it down and is keeping me in line! I have so far lost my one pound for the week and just started using it this week. Anyone wanting to make a change, this is a great place to get started!
There is a tool on there to add friends to have support and motivation while doing it together but you don't have to tell your weight to your friends. So if any of you decide to join up...let me know and we can connect through there!

Same Old thing

2011-07-19T20:42:00.001-07:00

Every week we eat the same meals....week after week after week! Tonight I actually stood in the kitchen and cooked for 45 minutes and didn't even sit down to eat what I cooked. I am so tired of the same old thing. This is what we have every single week: spaghetti or lasagna, lemon pepper or fried chicken tenders & potatoes, tacos (which I hate), frozen pizza, tenderloin with corn and box mac n' cheese. If we don't eat out on the weekends we just eat a sandwich. I am honestly getting to the point where I would just rather eat a sandwich every night. Less cooking and cleaning and I would enjoy it just as much as these same old meals plus it would be cheaper. Is anyone Else's grocery bill doubling these days??
The thing is, I'm not a lover of cooking. I mean, I can make stuff taste OK but I don't really have a love affair with food nor do I with cooking and cleaning up from it. We also aren't eating healthy like we would like to. I have searched high and low for good healthy (or even semi healthy) meals that are quick and easy to make but still eatable. If I am going to have to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than 30 minutes, I lose my appetite. I guess that could be my new diet plan:) I like things like casseroles but I also need other ideas.
So this is where you guys come in. I know I have at least two loyal followers out there reading this. I want you guys to list some of your favorite dishes and recipes in my comments section. That way not only I get some good ideas but also each of you can see the ideas and try them out too. Come on....PLEASE! I'm not to proud to beg, I'm just hungry!!!!

On The Back Burner

2011-07-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

If you haven't already guessed, the blog has been on the back burner lately along with myself and this really messy house. Try as I might, I just can't seem to do it all these days. My husband says I am getting old and the gray hair that not even hair color in a box could cover for long, would totally agree with him:( The kids are bored and seem to need constant ~~refereeing~~ attention. I have been trying my best to keep them busy while keeping my sanity.
School is upon us though and now we are busy gathering up all the thousands of things that are required to start back to school. Since I love to shop but money doesn't usually allow it, I love this time of year. Even though none of the new stuff is for me, I love to watch the kids get excited about new stuff. Tegan got a new pair of sketchers at Academy Sports this past weekend and you would have thought we bought him a puppy. He continues to say to everyone and every item in our house "See my brand new sketchers". There was a fight in Academy. I wanted the toned down new balance shoes but he wanted the brown and orange sketchers that look a little like they have monster teeth on them. I gave up....he won! He was the cutest thing ever walking through the store with his new back pack on his back, carrying his new metal Spider Man lunch box and proud of his new shoes.
Rylee is much more complicated. Her dad said no to a new back pack b/c she has several from years past but since he didn't back me up on the toned down new balance shoes for Teg....I bought her a new back pack. Don't get me wrong, it is a cheap $9 back pack with hearts and peace signs on it. I won't dare tell my husband that I actually hate the back pack:) All of her school supplies have been gathered while my husband grumbled about having to buy things like wipes, Kleenex and baggies but I just kept saying HUSH! Now is the hard part....we didn't ever really buy Rylee any great summer clothes. I just cut off a lot of her to short pants and made them in to capris or shorts. She is in a strange size b/c most clothes are made 7/8 or 10/12. Well my 8 1/2 year old can't wear what she could wear at age 7 and she sure can't wear what she will be wearing at 12. So this leaves me feeling like I am looking for a needle in a haystack....size 9's or just plain old size 10's. I dread it b/c I am very plain and basic and she is very out there in her style. We fight over what she can and cannot wear. I'm sure that will begin this upcoming weekend.
So many other things have been going on that distract me from the blog but since I am pretty sure no one is still reading this post after my rant about school shopping, I will save that list of things for another day!

Randomness

2011-07-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

This summer seems to be flying by and I feel like I am missing some hours in my day. I have been very busy working on a few little ideas that I have in my head and also trying to entertain my two little ones. We have had lots of fun in the sun and swimming this summer. We have had more adventures already this summer than we have probably had the last four summers combined. I have to admit, it has been fun to actually have my kids out and about. Tegan isn't always the easiest child to handle but this year it seems to actually be doable to have both kids by myself. I know some of you think that is crazy but with the age difference in my kids, Rylee doesn't always want to do the same things that her baby brother wants. But now they are both getting older and easier. As sad as it is to say that, I do like this new life chapter of self sufficiency. To be honest it is easier to have them out of the house and busy than to stay in the house with them fighting all day:)

I have really been praying and thinking about what my future holds career wise. I am somewhat of an odd one as I am a people person that would also be totally satisfied with being a recluse (is that the right word....by that I mean a total homebody). Anyways, the more I pray the more I know that the right thing has happened in my life with school but that leaves me with figuring out what is next. I would like to continue to do something that doesn't take me away from my children ALL the time but yet have something that give me satisfaction. My wheels have been turning and I am feeling good about some of my ideas.

I sold my bigger embroidery machine on the cheap today. I love the idea of embroidery but I don't think I really like doing it a lot. I have a smaller limited embroidery machine that is built in to my everyday sewing machine. With that machine I can embroider the bibs and burp cloths and that is enough for me.

It is almost midnight around here so I guess I will drag my tired, sunburned self to bed with pure excitement that for the first day all week I have no plans tomorrow and plan to sleep as late as the little people that I live with will allow!

The Clouds...

2011-06-30T21:27:00.001-07:00

We have been having some pretty regular evening storms around here and the clouds are just down right scary! Nope...it is not getting dark in this picture but yet we are having another 6:00 pm storm!

Blah!

2011-06-28T19:15:00.000-07:00

See that picture of my newest little niece above....that is what I have felt like lately. If I could fall on the floor and throw a temper tantrum, I probably would. Lack of routine has me out of sorts. But mostly I have to say that when I have things planned out in my life to go a certain way and then they don't, I don't like it. My plans and struggles for the last couple of years to go to Radiography school have been shut down. The programs around my area have gotten pretty impossible to get in to. So many people have been going back to school for the medical field. I knew that it was going to be tough, I struggled through the classes and it didn't happen for me. At first I was sad, then I was worried about what next, then I didn't give a crap and now I'm feeling relieved. Strange I know but I am. The school is very strict and goes for 2 years at 40 hours a week not counting study time. You can't miss days for sick kids or school parties.

Then there was that job that I had at the hospital that just gave me a reality check...I hated it. It wasn't the job or even so much the night shift as it was the missing things. The strictness. The holidays. It just isn't me. I am a my kids are first type person. So my mind is content with the answer that I got. I am looking in a totally different direction. What that direction is...I have no idea. I am just waiting, thinking and praying. We'll see what happens but my hopes are high and I am trying to remember that great big Godly things can happen when you least expect it!

It doesn't really matter that much...

2011-06-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

My parents divorced when I was five years old. I still remember the final argument before their split. It's one of those stories you tell and laugh about now but then it wasn't so funny and I'm pretty sure that something I told my dad is what started the whole thing.

So began the next 13 years of my life spending every other weekend at my dad's house. Even though he tried, I'm pretty sure we never got enough time with him or with my mom for that matter....what kid does get all of the time with their parents that they want?? My dad has an amazing ability to tell stories and will have you laughing so hard. What makes it so funny is that they are true life stories and will leave you wondering "who does this stuff happen to". He will tell stories that range from having his bicycle repossessed as a child, to his brother's ability to be elusive from the cops and all the way to where he use to hide at when he skipped school at a very young age. The titles of those stories may sound sad or horrible but to hear the actual stories behind them will have you rolling on the floor laughing. I'm sure that at a very young age when someone comes to repossess his bike it is very heartbreaking but life continues and he loves to tell that story and laugh about it now. It is part of his life.

My dad has a quality that I seem to lack. Little (and sometimes big) things just aren't the end of the world. I have noticed the past couple of weeks more than ever that I freak out about small things...something I am certain that I have always done but am determined to change. I want to care but yet just not care much...I have no idea if that makes sense. A few days after my birthday the kids and I went to meet my dad for lunch at his favorite place. It had been a stressful Tegan morning (or week for that matter) and lunch was no different. At the end of lunch Tegan wanted another chocolate milk. I said no but of course Pawpaw ran right to the counter to get both kids another chocolate milk like any grandfather would do. Within 10 seconds of Tegan having the chocolate milk, he spills it everywhere. I instantly jump to react and a mere second before I could start fussing and saying mean things to Tegan, my dad jumps up and repeatedly tells Tegan that it is OK. Accidents happen. I can always buy you another one. We can get someone to clean this up. The kid that had just looked at me with fear that he was going to be in trouble is now looking at my dad like he is a superhero and has just saved him from his mommy.

To be honest I haven't really thought much about that moment since that day....that is until today. I had two moments today, one with Rylee and one with Tegan, that involved me using my words to make them feel bad about accidents that had just happened. As I was getting on to them and blaming them for not being careful, I heard a voice inside of me saying "It doesn't really matter that much". But that didn't stop me. I was so aggravated and not even the looks on their precious little faces could stop me. I don't want to break their spirit. I don't want to put them down. I want to say "Don't worry, we can always get you another chocolate milk".

I have spent 31 years of my life worrying, reacting and not enjoying. It doesn't matter if my child is loud in public as long as he is happy. It doesn't matter if my daughter spills something on her clothes every time she eats, an outfit can be replaced. I have been working really hard to let go of a lot of my germaphobia and have really came a long way so there is no reason that I can't learn to just go with the flow and let my actions mean so much more than my hurtful words.

The point is that we all worry and react to things that we shouldn't b/c in the grand scheme of life is it the end of the world or just another funny story that you will have to tell.

Handmade Diaper Bag....

2011-06-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

***KEEP READING FOR A LITTLE DEAL***

So I have been working on several different things for my shop lately. I am not ready to show a lot of them but one thing that I am ready to show is the diaper bags I will be selling. When I started my etsy shop, diaper/tote bags were my thing. They were the whole reason that I started the shop and for a long time how I made my income and not to mention how many I sold on ebay. I let it get a little out of hand though. I started offering to many different fabric choices so that was causing me to have to keep stock of all those fabrics which can get expensive fast. Then I was selling the diaper bags locally for basically what I had in them. Sometimes, I was losing money on them. I got to where I hated making them and they were way to time consuming. So I took a break. I completely stopped offering diaper/tote bags and really enjoyed the break. Recently I made a diaper bag for my sister. I made it different. I used quilted fabric as the base and started from there. I really loved making that diaper/tote bag and really liked the end result. So I got to thinking, I always keep that black quilted fabric on hand so why not start offering diaper bags in a few standard fabric choices. Hopefully I will find the brown quilted fabric I use to have and add that to the collection but for now Joanne's is sold out of it:)

The new bags are a little bigger than my old ones. They measure 18 1/2 inches wide by 14 1/2 inches tall. They have two interior pockets. You can find this exact bag and purchase it HERE!

Now for a little price break....I am wanting a few sample pictures of some. I would love to do the two black and white fabrics below with either pink, green or turquoise fabric, ribbon and embroidery. So I will offer one sample of each combo for $26.99 with FREE shipping if you choose one of the two fabrics below. You can also get this deal on the zebra print one if you choose green or turquoise colors instead of pink! Please comment here or email me (at tabatham8@hotmail.com) if you are interested. I will work out the details of payment with you. If you feel more comfortable going through etsy then I will set you up a reserved listing for your order.

Stay right here!!!!!

2011-06-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

I made the comment to my husband the other day that I wish our kids could stay this age forever. Although I honestly have to say that every year since Rylee was born I have always said that I like the present age better than the previous. But right now we have an 8 year old and an almost 4 year old. It is the perfect age b/c the 4 year old is finally big enough to do pretty much anything and we can threaten him in to cooperating...or at least my husband can. Then the 8 year old is still young enough to want to be around us and doesn't hate us yet:)

This weekend Rylee has been gone to church camp....alone....without me....her mama whom she abandoned and pushed right out the church cabin door and told to leave and that she would be fine!!! How on this earth is my precious baby girl old enough to go to church camp...alone...without me. She is there for less than 48 hours but all this is doing to me is making me realize how miserable I will be next year when she goes for a full week. Or better yet, what in the world will I do when I have an empty nest???? Yes I know that my 8 year old going to a weekend church camp isn't the same as empty nest...just leave me alone!!!

I need to get a job and make some money so that I can afford to cram in as many memories as I can with these kids!!! I just want these kids to stay right here! Exactly where they are. Is that to much to ask??

Just A Taste...

2011-06-14T11:27:00.000-07:00

**DISCLAIMER: Husband I don't know if you ever read this but don't read this post until after Sunday unless you want to know what small gift you are getting for Father's Day:)**

So I thought I would give you a sample of one small little paragraph that I wrote in an email to my friend today. I had to laugh when I looked back over it b/c she asked the simple question "What are you up to today?" and she got this really awesome answer....

It isn't even 2:00 yet and it feels like it has been a hectic day. I made a trip to Athens to meet my dad for lunch for my Birthday. Of course I had two kids in tow which makes for pure craziness. Life is so stressful right now with Tegan b/c he is seriously to big for his stroller (his feet drag the ground) but yet he runs WILD when we get out of the car. I think I like him best when he is strapped in his car seat:) Anyways, we ran to Old Navy b/c before our beach trip Paul saw a Braves shirt there that he wanted but wouldn't buy for himself. So, I being the good wife that I am, took my own birthday money and bought him the dang $20 shirt. Plus I had to buy Rylee a whole piece bathing suit and I lucked up b/c Old navy had some marked half price so I got one for her for $8. Then I had to pick up one more piece of fabric at Hobby Lobby which is so stressful b/c I have to concentrate and then wait for three days for someone to cut the fabric and then wait 5 more days in the check out line. All that while Tegan is running around like a mad man and knocking things off the shelves. Then we go to the Varsity. Not my lunch choice but it is my dad's favorite so whatever. Anyways, the kid spills an entire cup of chocolate milk all over him, the table and the floor. It was awesome and got even more awesome when he decided to stick his foot in all of the chocolate milk under the table...on purpose. I was going to make a trip to Wal-mart but who has the energy for that. I gave up and came home where I continue to fight Tegan just to get him to sit down and rest a while. Good times! I have got to find things to do in the mornings to start wearing him out but the only problem with that is that I will wear out before he does. Kid with a lot of energy + mommy with no energy = bad day, tired mommy and still wild boy!! He is lucky I love him so much and that he has a really cute smile. Rylee was sweet as always so I think there may be hope for a calm down phase with Tegan in about four LONG years:)

I'm not sure if she was ready for all that but she asked and I answered. Happy Tuesday everybody or whatever day it is!!!

Because It Is My Birthday...

2011-06-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Today I am finally taking a break from the beach post although there is sure to be ONE more with never before seen pictures just to drive you over the edge. Well today I am 31 years old. No worries though because according to the lady at Hobby Lobby, I look like I am around 20. I'm sure that she was just being gracious but I don't care....I'm going to take it and run with it. I spent three much needed kid free hours out and about this morning to grab a few things and head to lunch with my bestie. I have to tell you this summer break at home with the kids is proving to be more of a challenge than I thought. When I thought of spending the summer at home with my kids I had visions of sugarplums dancing in my head but instead I am getting a whole lot of sibling fighting and power struggles. I plan to change that if I can though. The first week was just a resting week and celebration from surviving the school year. The second week was beach week. This third week of break has been Baycay Bible Cool (vacation bible school). So hopefully next week I can start getting them out in the mornings and if I can't find a way to wear them out then I am sure the Georgia heat will pick up my slack.
This post was suppose to be about my birthday but as always my world is centered around my kids. I will take this to the dark side shortly and then pull it right back if I may. This past week a little boy that is 10 years old and attended our church on Wed. nights, was killed in a car wreck. I didn't know him but my daughter did. Actually there were two 10 year olds that were killed in that car wreck. It was a very quick and harsh reminder to me that these kids may be driving me crazy, are turning my hair white and are sure to force me to lock myself in the bathroom but they are ever so precious to me. I have loved them and hugged them even more than normal this week and pray that I get to do that for the rest of my days.
The years keep flying by, for me and them but as with everyone I have a hard time remembering to stop and smell the roses. Turning thirty one to me doesn't mean I am getting older (but I guess I kind of am) but it means that I am still alive, well, happy and healthy. So many people don't get to live to see their 31st birthday but I have and for that I am grateful. So ladies (and men), complain all you want about life, your kids and even your spouse but always stop at the end of the day and praise the Lord for the blessings, burdens and life that he has given you!

The Sky Wheel....

2011-06-08T06:43:00.000-07:00

Their slogan on the billboards reads "Get a little closer to Heaven"....that should have been my first clue! I'm not really sure I have ever realized that I am afraid of heights. I guess I have subconsciously always avoided all things that would make me realize my fear. When my husband and kids wanted to ride the Sky Wheel at Myrtle Beach I was all for it. I mean it is a closed in ride that all four of us got to go on together. Plus it was hot outside and the cars on this Ferris wheel have AIR CONDITIONING. Anyone that has ever even heard of the south, knows that is a huge deal. So we stood in line to buy tickets. Paid $43 total for the four of us to ride. Stood in another line to get on the ride. Then it was our turn. The closer I got the higher up it looked but I was still OK with it. Really I was OK with it until we got about half way up on the ride and it stopped to load more people. I thought I was going to die. I couldn't swallow and I couldn't figure out how I was going to save myself and my kids if this thing came tumbling down. I couldn't look out at all. I had to just focus on the kids and what all they were saying. But just like that (and no where near worth $43) it was over. Thank Goodness. I have a new found appreciation for the ground!

This is what each car on the wheel looks like. They can fit probably six people each but the great thing about this ride is that they don't make you ride with anyone else. Like if you come up to ride with only two people, then you are the only two in your car.

Behind me you can tell we are still close to the bottom. This is right before I thought I was going to die.

We were higher than the tall hotels. The Sky Wheel lights up at night and does a light show but when you are on it you can't see it but this glass building that is next door reflects it. The funny thing is that there is another hotel in between the Sky Wheel and the glass hotel but we were so high up that we didn't even notice that hotel until we got off the Sky Wheel and couldn't see the glass building.

These two loved it!

This is those crazy people that bounce around on a rubber band at the beach. There is NO WAY! We were at the very top of the Sky Wheel when I took this and those people were going higher than us!

The view from half way up....that is the best I could do:)

It was something to do but not something I will probably ever do again. I like life to much:)

Fun in the Sun

2011-06-06T12:52:00.001-07:00

This is like part 15 of my beach post but I can't help it. You would be shocked to know that I only pulled my camera out 4 times the whole time we were there but yet still had over 400 pictures to sort through. So you can expect at least two more beach post and then I will be done.

We weren't suppose to leave out until dark and early Tuesday morning to head to the beach but being the crazy people we are, we decided at around 2:30 on Monday afternoon to go ahead and get the drive over with. We loaded up and in less than a half hour we were on our way. This little dude was excited and I think he thought he was going to bike week at the beach:)
We arrived at around 8:30 Monday night. Just enough time to check-in, grab dinner and rest up for the next day. The kids had us up at 7:00 AM ready to hit the beach. We had a very relaxing and go with the flow type week. We had no set schedule and no idea what we would do from day to day....just what the Dr. ordered for me.

This little beauty has decided to move to the beach when she is all grown up! I hope she changes her mind and decides to live with me forever!

This one...well what can I say. He keeps me on my toes that is for sure!

We stayed in an angle oceanfront suite. The husband and I both don't like the whole "angle" thing but we sacrificed and it was so worth it. We ended up with a room that had one room with two beds, a full kitchen, bathroom and another room with another full size bed, couch & TV. It was awesome and kept us from killing each other!

Both kids loved the ocean but Tegan insisted on me carrying him through the waves. There was this one time that me and him may have gotten knocked down by a wave and my bathing suit bottoms may have gotten pulled down a little.

Now in the next several pictures you may notice that most of them are of Tegan. Believe me, there is no lack of pictures of Ry but I just don't feel real comfortable posting lots of pictures on here of her in a bikini bathing suit. If I had it my way she would have wore long sleeves and blue jeans to the pool and ocean everyday!

Look at this cutie!!!

He LOVES to TORTURE me with the fingers in his mouth!

Ry was in pouting mode when I took this picture! I just sat there snapping pictures of her until she perked up a little!

We look like we are on a sky lift but we aren't, we are on the pier and Ry took this picture of us.

See me in the picture below?

Below is a picture of my beautiful family.

We had a great vacation. Everyone got along (except for the occasional brother/sister spat), no one got sick and we actually got to relax. My husband may have drove like a race car driver on the way home but I tried to just close my eyes. Any one who knows my husband knows that I have to beg and plead to get him to go on any kind of a trip b/c he just hates leaving home and hates spending money. He wasn't happy at all about going but once we got there he was better than he had ever been on a trip. He let himself enjoy it and not worry about all the stuff back at home as did I.

I am trying to figure out a way that I can go back next month but so far no luck:)

BEST IDEA EVER!!!!!

2011-06-04T20:07:00.000-07:00

Our hotel at Myrtle Beach was really geared toward kids which made for a much better experience. I just have to say that whomever came up with this idea is a freaking GENIUS!!!!
This little area is just one of the areas for kids to play. There is an indoor large 1ft pool, regular indoor pool, two indoor hot tubs, one indoor lazy river and a large outdoor regular pool.

Just about everyday we parked our butts in some chairs around this pool and actually got to sit and relax while the kids ran wild and played for days in what Tegan called the "White Pool".

The whole entire pool is only 1ft deep which made it perfect for Tegan. Rylee would get bored with it so we would tag team taking her to the other pools but she always liked coming back to this pool and going down the water slide. Tegan did the water slide once but he was terrified and came out crying saying "I so scared, I so scared". We will blame that on Paul b/c he is the one that let him go down it:) I intend on holding on to my mother of the year award so I was standing at the bottom to jerk him out of the water as he came out.

I will never ever go to another hotel with my kids or future grandkids that does not have one of these play areas. A total genius idea!!!!!

What I learned from Vacation!!!

2011-06-03T19:19:00.000-07:00

This past week we went on a nice five day vacation to Myrtle Beach. It has been a while since we took a REAL (more than a weekend) trip and also the first time we have been on a vacation just us four . Every year we have had a vacation scheduled and stuff would get in the way and cause us to cancel. This year all the stars aligned and by God's good grace we got to get away for a while and stay at a great (and clean) place called Sea Crest Resorts. I am going to do a whole different post about our trip with tons of pictures but since I am so tired tonight, I am just going to do a "What I learned from Vacation" post....

1. DO NOT put Bath and Body works lotion on your body right after you have gotten sunburned!!! I did this and literally had to peel my bra straps off of my shoulders. It was very painful!!!

2. All because you put on sunscreen at the beginning of the day does not mean that you are invincible!

3. DO NOT ride the new Jimmy Buffett Sky Wheel at Myrtle Beach if you have a fear of heights. The fact that it is enclosed does not help with the fact that you are going 200 feet in the air in a glass case!!! It is awesome though b/c it is air conditioned and private but I was pretty sure I was going to die at some point! But if you aren't afraid, it is a must for your next Myrtle Beach trip!

4. Contrary to my belief, all the swimming, walking, sweating and playing does not counteract all of the totally fatty foods that we ate! My scales were not nice to me:(

5. Although I love my SLR camera, I will get me a much smaller camera to take on my next vacation. It isn't practical to carry around that big camera everywhere we went!

6. There is no place like the beach to make you feel both horrible and great about your body. Great b/c you compare your body to some of those that shouldn't be walking around in that two piece bathing suit. Horrible b/c some ladies look so great that they make you feel like you should be wearing a t shirt and shorts to swim in.

7. Long hair is wonderful at the beach b/c you can just pull it up!!! I forgot that and almost got it cut right before!

8. Long and thick hair really sucks at the beach b/c it seems to never get dry.

9. I was totally capable of taking a week off from being a germaphobe and just let whatever happens happen! It wasn't easy but it was a stressful losing battle that I just gave up on within an hour of getting there.

10. Going on vacation is awesome and fun but when you get home you remember that there is no place like home!!!!

Goodnight....I have missed my bed!

Yet another one....

2011-05-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

My sister, the child that is dead in the middle of us 5 kids, had her very first baby today. She is the last of us five kids to have her first child. But today she joins the crowd and adds the 12th grandchild to my side of the family....

Savannah Elizabeth....Vannah Beth born May 28th weighing 7 lbs 14 oz!

Perspective and Grace

2011-05-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

Meet Jessica and her precious daughter Kolbi Lee. Jessica is the younger sister of a high school friend. I use to spend a lot of time at their house during my teenage days but as life does, we all went in different directions. I have lately reconnected with Jessica and another dear friend, April. I like to call our get togethers "Talk Therapy".

Today I came with my two healthy kids to meet April, Jessica and Kolbi Lee at a park so the kids could play and we could sit and chat. I get out of the car and watch Tegan, who was told he may never walk, run off in excitement to play. Jessica pulls up and unloads a carload of stuff just to be able to get Kolbi from point A to point B but I never heard a complaint. Jessica is independent and wouldn't accept much help from me or April. But the most important thing I can say about Jessica is that she holds Kolbi Lee as a blessing in her life. She has taken something that God gave her that others would see as a burden and put her whole heart in to it. It is so amazing and so inspiring to watch her "make lemonade". Kolbi Lee is such a little angel and has already blessed so many. In her on way today, without even knowing it, she gave me perspective on life as her mom helped to show me grace. My life isn't perfect....it is down right rough at times. I withdraw and put up walls when something happens that I don't like. Jessica has no idea what to expect from her daughter's life. There are no other kids with her condition for her to look to as an example and yet she loves with her whole heart. She doesn't think about her circumstances but just does it with grace, independence and as a fierce advocate for her daughter.

Let's face it, being a grown up sucks sometimes but complaining and giving up is not an option. Learning to handle life with grace, ease and less complaining is what life is about. Who knows...maybe Jessica and Kolbi Lee have just taught me the secret to my own happiness:)

Sum, Sum, Summertime

2011-05-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

So it is officially summer around here. The crazy Georgia weather went from long sleeves last week to the 90's this week but most importantly school is out and soccer is over. I'm pretty sure that Tegan was more excited than Ry about school being out. Poor child would try to the bitter end to talk me out of taking him to school everyday, even the last day. I think he loved it and it was good for him but he just preferred to be home.
Ry is always sad to see school end and misses her friends. She is already talking about the first day of 3rd grade!!! Yes you heard that right, my sweet girl will be in 3rd grade. I posted on facebook last week that I didn't think that I look old enough to have a 3rd grader. I kind of look like I may have possibly had her at 12 years old:)
There will be a big change with Tegan and his school situation next year. We were very sad to leave the preschool that he has been going to. It was the preschool that Rylee went to until kindergarten so I fully expected Tegan to do the same. But things have changed and our situation is much different now. We made the decision to send him to the pre-k program at Ry's school. I don't like the thoughts of my little man going to a big kid school but I do like the thoughts of both of my kids being at the same school. Plus I have heard rave reviews about the pre-k teacher that he will have and I am sure she will not disappoint. His name was literally drawn out of a hat so Paul believes that was God's favor:)
Summer is already proving to be a struggle with these two little ones. Tegan is bored and is harassing his sister. Rylee is bored and bossing Teg around. Let the fighting begin. As we speak right now I can't get Tegan to bed at 10:42 pm. He is actually laying in the hallway floor b/c he said he doesn't like his bed anymore.

Going backwards....the last week of school was a busy week. I had Tegan's end of the year picnic, Rylee's two award ceremonies and Rylee's end of the year play. I did more running around than cleaning like I had planned. In fact, I did no cleaning....what else is new!

This is a picture of Tegan at his end of the year picnic with some of his friends.

He was so proud to show me how he can pump his legs and swing on his own.

His very best preschool friend!

Rylee receiving one of her classroom awards. She ended the day with a total of 5 awards!

So happy!

End of the year play. It was super cute!

Rylee with the wonderful Mrs. Brock, her 2nd grade teacher. Shout out to Mrs. Brock for being a wonderful, patient and inspiring woman in my daughter's life. She loved every minute of her second grade year and I know that had a lot to do with this amazing teacher. She kept Rylee in perfect balance by letting her show just enough of her creativity to keep her on course.

Hugging her proud Daddy!

If you don't hear back from me in a week then send back-up.....the kids will have taken over!!!!

Flat Tire....

2011-05-20T20:31:00.001-07:00

So this isn't really about a flat tire but that is the only thing I can compare it to. Lately I have been having these strange moments where my brain just stops working. Go ahead and laugh but you will feel bad in a minute.
When you have a flat tire for just a few minutes your world stops but it can be easily fixed to get you back in the rat race fairly quickly. Well lately my mind has been stopping for less than a minute. I mean really stopping. Like not just being forgetful and not mommy brain. It has happened to me about 5 times over the past 2 1/2 weeks and when it does I get this strange tingly feeling all over my entire body. Then suddenly I snap out of it. Like I was talking to Betty, the lady that helps to pick up my kids from school when I can't. She was talking away while I listened and suddenly I couldn't remember her name. It was this awful feeling and this is not a person that I should forget her name. That same day I was at Ry's soccer game. A mom was talking to me and telling me this really funny story but for about 20 seconds my brain shut off, I zoned out and I can't tell you a word she said. I was standing there just looking at her right in the eyes but not a clue what she was saying. The first time it happened I was at work and was in the middle of telling a story and suddenly I lost what I was saying but I chalked it up to being tired from staying up all night at work.
This doesn't feel the same as drawing a blank b/c when you draw a blank atleast your brain is attempting to remember something but when this happens to me it is like everything shuts down and suddenly snaps back on. It has really terrified me but I keep thinking that it is just b/c I am tired.
So I set down to tell Paul that I fear I have early onset Alzheimer's and he laughs at me and tells me that he does this all the time. In fact sometimes when I am talking to him he doesn't hear me even though he looks like he is listening. I didn't find that very funny since I was preparing to die. I guess this is what happens...you turn 30 and not only start falling apart physically but you start losing your mind too! In a few short weeks I will be 31...can't wait to see what is in store for me then!!!

Stupid Girl...

2011-05-16T19:55:00.000-07:00

Maybe that title is a little harsh but that is how I have been feeling the past few months. I decided over three months ago to apply for a weekend nights job at the hospital. It was only Sat. and Sun. and this stupid girl was sure that it would be the perfect fit for our family. I thought I could make a contribution to my family but still be able to be off all week for my kids. Stupid Stupid Girl!!!
First off let me clarify that I worked with some really awesome people. I worked with the same crew every weekend and when else do you sit for 24 hours in a tiny room and just talk to each other?? We watched heart rhythms of up to 32 patients each. The room was the size of a walk-in closet with no air and a camera on us at all times. We could not leave our computers or look away from our screens without relief. Sometimes we would sit in those chairs in front of the computer for 4 or 5 straight hours without getting up for so much as a bathroom break or cup of water. That makes for a very very long 12 hour night shift. But the job wasn't the biggest issue b/c really we get paid good money to do what we do. The problem was my family. Although my husband will not admit it to others, he hated the work schedule and the affect that working night shift had on me. Sometimes it would take me to Wed. to recover from my workend. Anyways my husband and I became very short tempered with each other and then the kids were just so upset when I couldn't come to stuff with them during the day on Sat. or Sun b/c I had to sleep.
Stupid Girl for thinking this was a good idea! What is worse is that both kids would be so upset if something happened while I was gone and I wasn't here for them b/c they are use to that. For example, Tegan would fall and say he called for me and ask me why I didn't come help him. BROKE.MY.HEART!!!!
Luckily my husband is super awesome and wasn't going to make me stay at a job I was miserable at. So here I am back to being a stay at home/work from home mommy! I can not even believe that I am typing that as the last few months have put such a burden on me and I was a little worried that I was going to be stuck there. This morning when I walked out those hospital doors at around 7:00 am, I was doing cartwheels. OK...maybe not cartwheels b/c I am to old for that but I was doing them in my mind.
The point is that I needed to put my family first and this was what was best for my family and me....maybe not my bank account. I prayed a lot before I made the decision and this was the direction I felt like I should go in. The bottom line is that I have been going to school the past two years in hopes of going in to the medical field but now the hours, holidays and not much flexibility has me questioning my path. So I have just done what I felt like I needed, wanted and had to do and now I am just praying that it is all laid out before me in his time. Maybe I still will go in that direction but not in a hospital or maybe I won't. Either way I whole hearted believe that something amazing and more than I could ever imagine is about to happen in my life and that just gives me butterflies!!! It is a blessing to be excited and know that more blessings are coming my way! Stupid Girl no more:)

For Stay At Home Moms Everywhere...

2011-05-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

I didn't get to go to bed until midnight last night so we will start there.

then I was awoken twice during the night by my son.

I got up early just like every one else in the world except I had a three year old trying to pick my nose.

Got dressed, ate breakfast, got son dressed, gave him breakfast (daughter and husband can get themselves ready and out the door).

Took son to preschool 10 miles the opposite way of what I needed to be going next.

Came back the 10 miles and then went 15 more to my daughter's school.

Helped work at her field day.

Left.

Went to the bank.

Went to the post office.

Did my grocery shopping in record time....25 minutes b/c that is all the time I had.

Came home,unloaded groceries and put them away.

Jumped right back in my car and headed back to my son's school arriving 3 minutes late.

Finally made it home.

Fought with him for 15 minutes over why he has to wash his hands before he can have a snack.

Fought another 5 minutes over what that snack should be.

Started laundry.

Unloaded dishwasher

Picked up the living room for the first of many times.

Talked Tegan in to laying down to rest.

Thirty seconds later, Tegan is up and the battle begins again.

Make a few camera strap covers that should have already been in the mail. (my work at home job)

Continue to threaten Tegan with taking away every single one of his toys if he doesn't just lay down and rest for one hour!!!!

Switch all the laundry around which involved having to fold stuff in the dryer, put them away, move the clothes from the washer, start more clothes.

Clean up the living room again b/c Tegan came out of his room while I was distracted with the laundry and managed to destroy the place and dump 3 cups full of sand in the floor that apparently was hanging out in his shoes from preschool.

Spend the next hour fighting with Tegan over how I think he would feel so much better if he would rest.

Give in and give up on any hope of ever getting Tegan to rest which then hits me that I will spend my whole summer with this kid going 100 mph for 14 hours out of the day with no break at all for myself.

Clean up his bedroom since he destroyed it while he was not taking a nap.

Did I mention that he got up to pee one time and wasn't watching his aim??? I cleaned that up.

More laundry.

Rylee gets home.

I remember at 3:00 pm that I forgot to stop and eat lunch. Oh well, to late!

Help Rylee with homework while Tegan tries to sabotage the process.

More laundry....I'm quitting that for the day.

Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

Update my etsy shop and check emails.

Crap...the living room is destroyed again and some one (not naming any names) unrolled a whole roll of toilet paper b/c the nameless person thought it was funny.

Start dinner.

Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

Eat dinner but get up no less than 12 times to get stuff for everyone but myself.

Get ready and go to Rylee's soccer game or practice...whichever the day holds.

Fight Tegan to keep him off the field the WHOLE ENTIRE GAME!!!!

Come home.

Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

Give Tegan a bath.

Get Rylee in shower and then get all her stuff out for school the next morning.

Get kids a bedtime snack.

Break up a fight between Ry and Teg.

Clean the kitchen from dinner.

Put the kids in the bed.

Spend the next one and a half hours fighting Tegan to stay in his bed and go to sleep.

Pee for probably the 12th time today but yet it is the first time that I have done it without an audience.

Shower.

Do more sewing.

Eat me a snack b/c let's face it...it is the first time I have really gotten to eat and enjoy it all day long.

Clean up the living room again.

Fix my husband's lunch

Fix Rylee's lunch

Get the coffee ready to start.

at 11:30 at night I finally sit down for a moment to myself....very tired.

At 12:00 I finally goo to bed only to be awoken by either my sleep walking daughter or my orange juice drinking thirsty son just two short hours later.

Tomorrow....same cycle yet always a surprise.

During all this I dealt with the phone ringing, the man painting the house, the dishwasher not working, 31 three year old temper tantrums, a sassy talking eight year old, potty breaks and so many other things that I just can't keep up.

I know that it is hard to work and have kids. I did it for 4 1/2 years...I know what it is like. It is just as hard as what I am doing now. We live off of one income in a two income world. Gas prices and rising prices of pretty much everything has us home bound more than I would like so I will have to get creative this summer. I don't get to sit down and kick my feet up and I suspect that every mom, working or not, feels this way too.

Things I miss about working are: driving to work in dead silence and saying my prayers, being just Tabatha who only has to take herself to the bathroom, eating my lunch alone, getting dressed in something other than a t-shirt, adult conversation, having a sense of purpose outside of the home.

Things I love about being home: Raising my kids!!!!!!!!!!! Yes they drive me crazy. Yes I want to cry some days but I love these little people more than anything so for them I do this routine (give or take a little) every single day just like a working mother gets up and goes to work for her kids every single day. I give of my time just like every woman who goes by the name Mommy. It is not lost on me that I give the greatest gift ever to my kids, my time but I also can't buy them the things they want at this point. They have everything they need but when it comes to the wants there is a lot left to be desired. All that being said...I love staying home with my kids but there are some days that I envy the working mother just like I envied the stay at home mother when I worked. Apparently we can never be pleased!

Mommy - 1 House - 7

2011-05-10T12:46:00.000-07:00

The great clean out of 2011 has begun at my house. Yes...I conquered Tegan's bedroom yesterday. Although it still doesn't look like the pottery barn room I dream of, we can at least walk in there once again.

I even have an empty storage container left over that was once full of toys.

Only 7 more rooms in this house to go!!

Happy Mama!!!

2011-05-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

Even though I work weekend nights, I was able to salvage some of Mother's Day and enjoy it. I had went to lunch with my mom and two sisters last Friday b/c I knew that I wouldn't be able to function much on Sunday. I was able to go out to eat with my little ones which always reminds me that being a mommy means NEVER having a day off. Rylee complained about her food, Tegan wouldn't eat and they both got tired of sitting there. But all in all it was a good little celebration. I am always thankful for my children and yet sad for the one I am missing which makes Rylee and Tegan that much more of a blessing to me. I'm not always a perfect mommy and they aren't always the most calm and respectful children but they are my blessings that I am oh so thankful for everyday....all three of them!

Well Tegan didn't want his picture made and my loving husband didn't realize he had on his sunglasses....story of my life!

Hope you all had a very blessed Mother's Day!!!

Real Life

2011-05-03T11:53:00.001-07:00

I read a lot of different blogs. I like to think of it as learning about life but instead I think it is just a nosey addiction. I read some blogs that are real all the time but I read some that may or may not be sugar coating life. I would LOVE to believe that there is a such thing as a perfect person, perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect house, perfect food and perfect faith but just call me the glass half empty girl.

I have very good intentions but it seems that late at night while no one is sleeping, everything in my children's bedrooms decides to jump out and lay in the middle of the floor. It is a never ending losing battle at this house and I think lately I have just given up more and more. I am noticing though from other blogs that I read that the kids don't look like they have toys busting at the seams. I mean don't get me wrong they have more than enough but for whatever reason it is beginning to look like my kids have way more than they will ever need in their little lifetime. It is not lost on me that they are very lucky but I have to do something about the clutter in their rooms and this whole house. All of you know that organization is not my strong point but sometimes there can be no organization when there is just way to much stuff.

The following picture is from the pottery barn kids website but I kid you not, this is exactly what some other blog pictures look like. Where are all the toys in the floor??
Now this is what my dear little man's room looks like.... Now of course this is after he has been playing some but the point is that there is just no where to put all this stuff!

The worst part is that this is only one part of the bedroom. There are just as many toys in every corner!

I think I need some help around here!!!

Rockstar!!!!!

2011-05-03T11:49:00.000-07:00

Today was career day at my daughter's school and she went dressed like this....

One day she is going to be a real rockstar but right now she is my rockstar!!!!

What is he doing???

2011-04-29T20:52:00.001-07:00

First I just have to show you a picture of the Easter eggs that we died. Aren't they just beautiful??? Amazing how much prettier they look when you follow the directions:)

Tegan is a kid in his own world sometimes. Stubborn as can be. You will not make him do something that he doesn't want to do....well at least not without a fight. A few days before Easter he decided this is what an Easter basket was used for...
I, as you know, worked the night before and the night of Easter. I stayed awake long enough to dress the kids for church and head outside for a quick photo session.
Rylee was beautiful and ready for pictures as always....

Teg on the other hand was not so thrilled about the situation.

I tried!

and tried!

and gave up on getting a picture of the two of them together!

Doesn't my little lady look a little to grown up in this dress?

So I thought I would do some of them each by themselves b/c that is what wild man was asking for. Didn't go so well either....

Wait...he is looking but not smiling!

Smiling but has eyes closed!

Half and half!

I will do it inside Mommy.

or maybe not.

But he was still so very handsome and his sister was so very beautiful.

Southern Destruction

2011-04-28T20:03:00.001-07:00

Most of you that read my blog was up late last night weathering the storm with me. If you know me at all you know that I have a huge fear of storms of any kind. I blame my mom for this:) I apparently have done the same thing to my daughter as she was so scared that she couldn't sleep at all last night.
The storms in our area were due to come in around midnight. I had spent the afternoon and evening watching videos of the horrid tornadoes as they tore apart Alabama and also saw devastating pictures of buildings and homes being flattened. I got cold chills every time I heard the death toll rise. By 9:30 pm I set up vigil on my computer listening to a live stream of one weather channel, had another on the TV and communicating with my facebook friends who also felt the same way as me. I watched as one storm in particular with a rather large rotation was coming straight for us. I prayed and prayed and watched the storm calm and turn to go more east rather than northeast.
Up until 1:45 AM I sat in the living room (alone) watching the news with my clothes on, shoes on and a few things sitting next to the door. If a storm like what went through Alabama came here there would be no way I could stay in my house. I warned my husband he was going to get a middle of the night wake up call.
Thankfully I didn't have to jerk my children and husband up and run to the church basement right across the street. I hate that I am so fearful of storms. I hate that I get so worked up about them 24 hours before they get here. The reality of what has happened just west of us is unreal to me. I look at whole neighborhoods that were torn apart and wonder where these people are even suppose to start. We always think that it could never happen to us but it can and it did happen to someone.
My goal for the upcoming couple of years is to get a house with a basement that has a finished room and a bed in it for my family to sleep in safely when or if this happens again. My heart goes out to those who have lost everything and family members. I pray for peace for all those affected and sit home on this calm night praising God for all my blessings!

Tuesday

2011-04-26T19:21:00.000-07:00

The title is there just to remind me of what day it is. I have been a little like a zombie. I know what you are thinking....quit complaining and whining. If you are looking for that here, you are not going to get it right now. I'm tired, tired, tired! I feel so blah with this new schedule and I'm not sure I will ever get use to it. Lucky for me I have known that this situation is very temporary so I am hanging on by a thread right now.

Easter weekend wasn't a total wash for me. I missed the Easter egg hunt at church on Saturday afternoon b/c it was during the last chance I had to sleep before heading in to work for the night. Both of my kids won the most eggs in their age category....I missed it. I worked 12 very long hours. Came home and met my family at the Sunrise service and for breakfast. We did the Easter baskets when we got home, I got the kids ready for church and I was off to bed. I missed everything else that happened that day. Got up and went back to work another 12 hours. What a really long weekend!!! But I survived having to work my first ever holiday.

Tonight I was invited to an orientation at my number one school of choice for the Radiography program. I am one of 40 people that they have invited for an interview....out of 250!! I am a little terrified to even be putting this out there right now b/c if it doesn't go my way now you all know about it but maybe some of you will say a prayer for me. They will interview for the next 4 weeks and then they will select 16 people. I am very nervous about this but just praying that whatever is right for me will work out. At this point, I will be super excited if I get in and I will be totally OK if I don't. If I get in I will go to school for the next two years, 40 hours a week. Sounds a little rough but just think about how fast time goes by. I'm working on a back-up plan just in case b/c goodness knows this job I am doing now is not a very good back-up plan!

There Was This Man....

2011-04-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

This has been a long week. I have really been dreading that for the first time EVER I will not be able to participate in every single holiday event going on this weekend with my kids. I will be missing Easter Egg hunts, possibly the first sight of the goodies left by the Easter bunny, getting my children all dressed up for church, going to church, lunch, supper....you get the picture. Except that is something that I will also be missing, pictures:( Yes, I have to work a 12 hour shift Saturday and a 12 hour shift Sunday....NIGHTS! I have to sleep at some point especially on Sunday since I have to gear up to go back Sunday night. If you have never worked nights before then you don't realize how it is virtually impossible to not fall to the floor and be sound asleep the very second you walk through the front door. It is nothing like day shift jobs where you come home and cook, play with your children or watch TV and then get ready for bed. In fact...I think I sleep half the drive home.

Tonight we were driving down the road and passed by a church. As a testament they had a large cross right on the side of the road and had a real live man standing on a small platform with his arms extended across the cross. He literally looked as though he was nailed to the cross...a real live man! That may not affect some people but it did me. I also witnessed the look on my sweet daughter's face when she realized the reality and meaning of Easter. I am very ashamed to say that I don't have the Bible down pat. I still have to look at my cheat sheet beside my computer just to remember my favorite Bible verses.

This week I have worried instead of handing it to him. I have been upset about my situation all the while he knew that my situation would be exactly what it is at this exact moment. I have felt slapped in the face by the good Lord the past few weeks. I still continue to try to push forward with my own plan but he keeps reminding me that it is not the plan he has for me.

He died so I could live! He didn't die for me to hold myself down over my own situation no matter how big or small my problem is. He is taking me somewhere amazing. Somewhere that I can't even imagine. He makes changes daily to guide all of us to where he wants us. I know first hand that your entire life can change, be it good or bad, in a single day or even more so in a single minute! As we wait to see what is next he already knows and has prepared that place for us.

He died so that I could live!!!!

Guilty Mommy...

2011-04-20T07:46:00.001-07:00

Things have been busy lately. There doesn't seem like there has been any down time. I am still hanging on at the job but to be honest I would have probably quit after the first weekend if I wasn't so worried about burning bridges with the hospital. I thought that working weekend nights would be perfect and actually it is working out great to be bringing in a paycheck again and still be able to be home during the week for the kids. The one thing I didn't factor in was the fact that I feel dead for the first three days after working all weekend and by the time I recover it is pretty much time to go back!
Twice since I have started this job, Tegan has fell while playing outside when I was either at work or sleeping. Both times he scrapped up his knees pretty bad and both times when he was telling me all about it he informed me that he was crying and calling out for me and he wanted to know why I didn't come!!!! Literally broke my heart. I have also had some problems with Ry adjusting to the new schedule. Weekend before last she started crying when she saw me getting ready for work. She cried for the next 45 minutes b/c she didn't want me to leave.
I know it takes time for everyone to adjust but I'm not sure my body will ever catch on. I worked last Sat and Sun nights 7p to 7a. Well I don't get much sleep on Monday's b/c I have to get Teg from preschool and I want to be able to sleep Monday night. So far, no matter how little I sleep during the day, Monday night sleep is not a success. Anyways, last Tuesday I apparently slept while my alarm clock went off for an hour and a half and the phone was ringing off the hook. The only thing that woke me up was Teg coming to tell me the phone keeps ringing. I was to late to get him to preschool so we ended up having a VERY lazy day at home. I think it is safe to say that Mon, Tues and Wed. are a total wash every week.
Another sad note is that I can't seem to make it to church. I am so tired when I come home that I change clothes and go straight to bed. There is no eating, no TV watching, no nothing. I'm just tired!!!!
It has been very hard for me and really had my mind going. Wondering if I am making the right career choice or what I should do with my life. Some days I am pretty sure that the good Lord just brought me to this job to show me that I have been choosing & pushing my path instead of following the path he holds for me. But then when I think about what I have been trying to go to school for I get excited and really want to pursue it. I guess the best question is....Do some people ever figure out what they want to be when they grow up???

Nothing like

2011-04-13T15:48:00.001-07:00

finding motivation in the fact that you screwed up and got a screwy job to make you start really sewing like crazy for some money!!!

Polka Dot Pixie

Soccer Mom!

2011-04-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

So who would have thought that soccer would be so much fun to watch?? This is the first competitive sport that Rylee has done and I have to tell you...it is wonderful!!! I love watching her get out there and get in the mix. The parents get so in to it too but on a very nice level so far. Anyone who knows Rylee knows that playing soccer is a big deal for her. She is usually terrified of a ball, hates to run and is not a fan of getting real hot but I have to say that my girl made me so proud at her very first soccer game last night. She never stopped running, didn't complain about being hot and wasn't afraid to get right in the middle of all the action. Paul and I loved every minute of it but the best part was that so did she!

I had to add this last picture for humor purposes. I'm not sure which was more entertaining, the soccer game or this man:) He was jumping up and down, screaming at the top of his lungs and would fall to the ground in despair. He wasn't even the coach of the other team but he sure acted like it. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't being ugly at all just very funny! He stood on the other side of the field away from all the other parents...I'm pretty sure that his wife likes it that way!

I can't wait for Rylee's next soccer game!

Sleeping Beauty...

2011-04-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

I did my first night shift this past weekend. Not only was it my first ever night shift but my very first ever 12 hour shift. I thought I would die. Everyone keeps saying I just have to get use to it but I think they are just trying to be positive. I'm not sure that a body will ever get use to staying up all night. I didn't get much of a nap on the day that I went in to work. Then on the morning after work I only got 3 1/2 hours of sleep. I begged and pleaded with Tegan to take a nap but he was having no part of it. But today this is what he is doing... I felt a little like a mental patient while at work. We are in a ~~room~~ closet with no windows or ventilation of any kind. When you walk in the hall you are surrounded by 4 different nurses stations for the ICU that have to turn off their lights at 10pm, then the patient rooms, then there is a hallway and then finally there are windows. So as you can imagine...I don't really ever get to see outside to see that it is dark. When referring to coming in to work I kept saying "this morning" when really it was "last night". At around 3 or 4 in the morning I thought I was going to throw up. My body had no idea what I was doing to it. But I pulled through and survived. There are so many negatives to weekend night shift but there are so many positives. One of those positives being that once I walk out those doors on Monday morning, I don't return until Saturday evening almost a week later. I'm just trying to focus on that!!!

Lately...

2011-04-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

Whew...it has been a whirlwind last few weeks but I am so happy to say that the full time day training is over!!!! I am no morning person and having to get up, get ready, drive, find a parking place in the parking deck, then walk 10 minutes from there to my job and clock in by 6:30 AM was no small feat for me. I was pretty sure it was going to kill me...I exaggerate a little:) Anyways I am going from hitting the hay early to prepare for the next day to trying to hold my eyes open as long as I can at night to prepare for the next day!!! I work my first night shift tomorrow night (Sunday night) and I am a little terrified. Yes I am a night person but people keep telling me that staying up all night at work is going to be totally different plus I am pretty sure I have already forgotten everything I have learned the last couple of weeks. I am trying to keep a positive outlook and say that I will be a trooper but frankly I am just ready to get the first shift over with and get a feel for the night shift thing. This past Friday we took Tegan to have a second opinion on whether we should put him through a pretty major eye surgery. His normal Dr. is at Emory and we got our second opinion from Medical College of Georgia. The Dr. was very nice and 100% agreed with Teg's regular Dr. and even told us that his Dr. at Emory was one of the best at this surgery and he never even offered to do the surgery himself which was fine by me b/c MCG is a really long ways away from our house. Plus I had already been praying a lot about the Emory Dr. and was starting to feel the comfort letting me know that he would be in great hands. They say this won't cure his eyes but I believe it can and I believe that if that is the plan that the Lord has for him then a miracle can happen. To have so much faith I have had so much fear about doing this surgery. I guess b/c it is really up to Paul and I so if something goes wrong we will blame ourselves. But I think at this point the decision has been made to move forward with the surgery but I'm still reluctant to contact the Dr. about it:) The kids have been doing great and I believe they both adjusted better to me being at work everyday than I did. But now we get some of our regular weekday routine back. I am going to miss my family on the weekends but night shift is definitely not chump change and lets just say that my first paycheck yesterday has inspired me to push through. I have been getting things together and applying for the health care programs I have been working so hard to get in to. I have one top pick and one back up pick. I'm ready to figure that part of my life out and move forward with it. Well my mind just went blank so I think I will just stop here and end this totally random post!

One Boy and One Girl...

2011-03-25T19:38:00.000-07:00

There once was a girl and a boy who even though they knew lots of the same people, they had never met each other. The girl worked at a retail store with a friend right next to a grocery store. The girl and her friend would get bored at work and people watch out the front window. One day the girl saw this guy and said he was cute. The friend ran out the front door and apparently knew the guy. She worked her magic and set the girl and boy up on a blind date (I say blind b/c the girl only saw the boy from a distance). The girl and boy went on their first date and have never went a single day since without talking to each other. Four months after their first date the very nervous boy asked the very excited girl to marry him. Three months later they said "I DO".
It has been ten years since I married my best friend. Ten very long short hard easy blessed years! We have been thrown lots of curve balls and have had just as many hard times as we have good times but yet here we stand...together. Life means so much more when you walk through it with a partner in crime by your side. Not just a spouse but a person you can count on, believe in and trust with all your heart!!! To this day I still look forward to seeing my husband every day after work and still get a smile on my face when he randomly text "I Love You" in the middle of the day. NO ONE can make me as angry as he can nor as happy has he can. He can change my whole mood with a single comment...be it good, bad or aggravating. He is so very special to me and I totally plan to never live a day in my life without him (he promised I could die first:).
Our anniversary was actually yesterday but this whole job thing is kicking my butt so I am just now getting around to it plus Rylee had soccer practice last night so there wasn't much extra time. Tonight we went out to eat to celebrate and believe me these days going out to eat is celebration in its self b/c my husband is obsessed with the Dave Ramsey plan so eating at home for every single meal is the new normal. We went as a family of four and Rylee asked why were we taking them with us, I replied that the two of them were our greatest accomplishment in the last ten years of our marriage so we wanted them with us.
When you have a wonderful man by your side, life is good even when it is bad!

Jumping Through Hoops

2011-03-17T11:28:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last three days of my life sitting in Hospital Orientation for my new job. Those are three days of my life that I will never get back. The first day there was a parade of supervisors coming in and out of a room filled with half asleep people telling us how super nice and helpful everyone is that works there. Unfortunately it is yet to be seen if everyone has pride in their job like they say they do. I do believe that they should send some of there long time employees back through the orientation and re-orient them as to what that hospital stands for.
The next two days I spent sitting in front of a computer learning one thing after another and taking one quiz after another. Eventually it just got to the point where I quit reading the info and just went straight to the quiz. I mean a little common sense can go a really long way:)
I was suppose to have to work on Friday but I finished up all my orientation early so I am off today and tomorrow. I have to say that I really needed it. Being at home and having my own routine for four years makes for a huge adjustment when re-entering the workforce. Add the "lose an hour" time change on top of a Mama who is not a morning person and you got one lady that would literally fall on the couch the second after walking through the front door. I head back Monday to start a more specific training for my job and the next couple of weeks will probably prove to be brutal but at the end of this training awaits a nice little job that is only two nights a week so that I can have a little of my life back during the week. I have to say that over the last four years I have totally forgotten how I use to do it. I use to work, take care of one child and a husband, keep the house somewhat clean (by my standards, not June Cleaver's:), go to the grocery store and still manage to not run out of toilet paper. Unfortunately this week we have ran out of paper towels which I can't live without, toilet paper and my beloved Diet Coke. Needless to say I made a mad dash to replace those things today.
Don't get me wrong, there are some bonuses to heading back to work but right now my tired eyes are having a hard time seeing them. The biggest bonus of all is that I get to wear scrubs to work...I know, it doesn't take much to please me! The other is that for a little while during the day I get to be just me. I love being Mommy but these people don't know me as Mommy and therefore do not ask me to pour them a cup of orange juice every 3 minutes nor do they call for me to wipe them after they poo! I know...that was a little much wasn't it but so is the days of my life!!!

WORK TIME

2011-03-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow begins the journey of a new job. I strongly dislike starting out and being the "girl who knows nothing". But as always I will survive. My biggest fear is that I haven't done this in almost four years....what on earth was I thinking. Say a little prayer for me that I can make it through these first few weeks. I have a final at school this week,then learning a new job, Ry's soccer practices, two kids, a husband and a house...that is a lot for this mama to take on. I just keep telling myself that I "got to get through it to get to it".

Headaches Be Gone!!!!

2011-03-09T20:11:00.000-08:00

I have always been a headache person. I can remember being in elementary school and coming home with headaches at least twice a week. In my adult years that seemed to get worse and some days I was taking up to 8 Tylenol a day. When Tylenol quit helping I started taking lots of Advil and Excedrin migraine. That is until all that stuff started to mess with my stomach and I'm afraid the damage is done now. I can honestly say that I would have anywhere from 3 to 5 days a week that I would have a headache. Some days I could still function but then I would have what we in the south call a "Sick Headache" or better yet...a migraine. I would literally just have to stop functioning, lay down and feel like I would throw up at any minute.

I have to say that when a facebook friend told me to try wearing a certain kind of necklace, I thought she was crazy but when you have lived with bad headaches as long as I have you will try anything. So I went and got me a Phiten Necklace. Now I know this is crazy but I will never go a day in my life without wearing this darn thing again!!!!! In fact the one I have is starting to look a little worn out and that is what I am asking for if my husband decides to get me a Mother's Day gift this year:) Now you can google these and get the details on how these work but basically lots of athletes wear them and they are suppose to help with aches and pains and plus give you energy. Now I can't say that I have any more energy now than I ever have (which isn't much these days) but as far as the headaches go....AWESOME!!!! I have went from 12 to 25 headaches a month to TWO headaches a month and those aren't that bad. Usually medicine wouldn't help me, now it does. I can pinpoint and tell you that the only reason it isn't helping my two headaches a month is b/c those are "time of the month" headaches and I don't think there is any cure for those. But in all honesty I have had this necklace about six months and to say it has changed my life would NOT be an overstatement. I love it...I live by it! I also want to mention that even when I have had a few colds that would normally make me miserable, I swear they haven't ever gotten to bad b/c of this glorious necklace. These necklaces are sold at sports places, we got ours at Academy Sports and they start at $19.99 and go way up. I just got a $19.99 one and it has been great!
If you have headaches you have got to try one of these. I promise, you won't regret it!

I Guess It Is Time....

2011-03-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

When I had Rylee, eight years ago, I hated the thought of having to go back to work but I did. It took a while for us to have another child and then that little boy was born with an illness that was incompatible with life. So I am sure that you can only imagine that after such a great loss, when I became pregnant again I would hyperventilate at the thought of having to leave my third child just so I could head back to work. I prayed a lot and mostly asked for peace that we were a two income household. Then the good Lord threw me a curve ball and put me on bed rest only half way through my pregnancy. Of course I was going to be out of work for 5 to 6 months and there was no way that my employer could hold my job that long and I wouldn't dream of asking them too.
Turns out God knew what he was doing (as always) because Tegan had some early issues that involved me running to doctors and therapy appointments for the first year of his life. Then I decided to go back to school. Somehow it has already been four years since I last worked and that seems a little unreal to me. Well it is all about to change. I am in waiting mode with some of the programs at school so when I came across a job at a hospital that would be perfect for me, I decided to go for it. So I got the job!!! It is going to be a little strange for me b/c I have never worked while having two kids but the hours are going to help out with that.
This is the part where you are going to tell me I am crazy but my hours are Sat. and Sun. 7 pm to 7 am. Now at first thought this may sound crazy...I have never worked night shift and I am giving up my weekends with my family. But when you look at it my way it is perfect. First of all I will still have half my weekend with my family. The best part about the hours is that we don't have to depend on anyone else to keep our kids while one of us is at work which was a huge plus for me since the kids will be out for summer before you know it. I am excited to get back out and connect with co-workers again but very nervous about the whole thing b/c for the last four years if my kids needed me I was there and there was nothing that told me I couldn't be at home with them. I guess it does make me feel better to know that their Daddy will be with them and he is MORE than capable of taking care of his own children. I think the worse part about the job is that I have to work week days for a few weeks to train and we all know that I am not a morning person so I just need to make it through these first few weeks and then all will be right in my world...for now anyways! So think about me next week as I head back to work and especially think about my youngest over attached child as his Mommy changes his world!

Seriously

2011-03-07T11:38:00.000-08:00

My son seriously has stopped calling me Mommy and has decided to start calling me "Old Crazy". Awesome! He even did it out in public several times today and I could hear people laughing at him.

I seriously saw a girl in her twenties at the grocery store this morning wearing a nightgown, pajama pants and a bath robe. Double Awesome!

I took Tegan to the Dr. this morning for what I had already diagnosed as a sinus infection. Almost 2 hours later, we finally got to leave to come home with medicine for a sinus infection:)

I seriously got busted playing the tooth fairy last night. I played it off as just covering her up before I went to bed but I don't think she believed me. Kind of how she was talking about wanting something in her Easter basket and I told her I didn't make her Easter basket, the Easter bunny did. She giggled, rolled her eyes and walked away...does that mean she doesn't believe in things like the Easter bunny anymore? I just need one more Christmas with her believing in Santa and then I will want one more.

I seriously got nauseous while talking to my sister over the phone as she was talking about the brutal stomach virus that has gotten in their house. Last time I checked you can't catch a virus through the phone but I don't want to take my chances:) Then the very next night in an attempt for my brother-in-law to torture me, we walked right in to my husband's sister's house only to find out she was recovering from a stomach virus. Whew...I'm nauseous just typing it.

I am in serious need of a nap today!

Etsy Has Kept Me Busy...

2011-03-06T14:25:00.000-08:00

I have been so very blessed to be able to make a little extra money from home. Etsy has been a huge resource for me and has really helped me to launch my camera strap slipcovers. I have really been busy with these for at least the last six months and what a blessing it has been. You can find my online shop at Polka Dot Pixie. If you make any sort of handmade item, Etsy is the place to be. You basically get your own shop for free. It charges you .20 cents per an item to list something but the listing will stay up for 4 months! Plus I used my shop name, Polka Dot Pixie, as my user name when I created my account so I basically get my own web address to hand out to others which is www.polkadotpixie.etsy.com . There are so many items being sold on there from craft supplies, vintage items to anything you can think of handmade.
What is best about Etsy is that it is not just easy and fun to sell on there but also awesome to buy from.

Old McDonald

2011-03-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

Tegan and Paul like McDonald's but Rylee and I aren't very crazy about it. My issue has something to do with a video they showed me in Anatomy class and how the hamburgers and chicken nuggets come to be before arriving at the popular fast food chain. The thought has turned my stomach ever since.
Paul and Tegan had guys night last Friday night and when he asked Tegan what he wanted for supper he answered with "chicken nuggets (yuck) from Old McDonald's". It is so cute to me that he calls it that. Sorry...all the above doesn't have much to do with the blog post but I just had to give background as to why I titled the post like I did.

Do you ever go to a restaurant, fast food or sit down, and have someone wait on you that is just so totally unhappy with their job that they make your experience miserable?? I have been through numerous drive thru's where the employee never even so much as speaks to me much less make eye contact. It makes for a horrible experience. This morning I had to run to get something near an Old McDonald's and since I hadn't eaten I decided to run by and get an egg biscuit (that has to be safe to eat right??). There are two windows, one where you pay and one where you pick up your food. At the paying window the lady was your typical unhappy Old McDonald employee but it was the second window that changed my morning. There was a Hispanic man working at the second window. He was so happy. As he was handing me my awesomely unhealthy breakfast he looked at me, smiled from ear to ear and said "Good morning young lady! Isn't it a beautiful day!". I responded with a smile b/c obviously his was contagious and said "Yes sir it is". Before I drove off he said "you have a blessed and absolutely beautiful day".

Today is a day that I have heard several negative comments about a big change I am making in my life but that awesome man at the second window not only made my experience better but he also reminded me that a smile is contagious and that I can choose to be happy no matter what I am doing!